an Oh Myyy Property

Divorce can stem from a lot of different seeds. Maybe it's a case of incompatibility, where the two parties were never going to fit no matter how hard they tried. Maybe time is a determining factor and some life-altering event changes your partner forever. Whatever the case, divorce is most often permanent and hopefully both parties move on peacefully to new horizons. That's all you can hope for. However, in some rare instances the end isn't the end.

Reddit user, u/capj23, wanted to know about those unlikely times when you and your legally binding spouse split and somehow ended up back together when they asked:

People of reddit who got divorced and then remarried the same person again, what's your story?

When Life Guides You Along


My parents. (Step)Mom and Dad married at a young age. 18 & 16. I guess that was okay back in the day. Had 2 kids, divorced.

Dad had another child, then married my biological mother and had me. Mother died of cancer. Was just my dad and I for a few years.

My oldest (half) sister was having her first we visited. Obviously her mother was there as well. My dad and her rekindle their relationship.

After a few years, she officially adopts me. That was 20 years ago and they are still going strong. I've known her over 2/3 of my life and she's as good as a mother that anyone could have.


Lingering Effects

My grandparents did. My grandfather suffered massive PTSD from serving in the Navy and would get so angry he would black out and forget what he did. He was very abusive to my mother while she was growing up. My grandmother divorced him and it was a wake up call for my grandfather and he got the proper help he needed. After about 8 months of anger management sessions and seeing a psychologist on the regular my grandmother got remarried to him.

Also my mother and grandfather's relationship is great now and he is a very calm individual. I've rarely ever seen him angry and when he does it's definitely not violent.


Just Proving A Point


My ridiculous coworker divorced her husband because he said something like "you can't live without me."

She divorced him to prove a point, but then remarried him so I guess he really proved his point.


A Lovely Surprise

Not me but my parents. They married and had me at a young age, they were very different people in every way, nothing in common. My mom had depression issues. They divorced for a brief period when I was really young but I don't ever recall knowing they were actually divorced. I never prodded why but my understanding was it just difficult so they split but realized pretty quickly they wanted to work it out. They got back together although they didn't officially remarry for years. I was 8 and they said We're getting remarried! and that was the first time I found out they were actually divorced lol. Been together 36 years now.


Ends Up Back At Square 1 Again...Again?

My grandpa married my grandma. Then he divorced her and married another woman. Than he divorced that woman and remarried my grandma. Then he divorced my grandma and remarried the second woman again.


When Parents And Former Step-Parents Connect


My parents did that.

Bitter divorce, drawn out custody battle... Nightmares all around. Almost 30 years later, they got remarried and stayed that way until my mom passed away. They were married in 1964 when my mom was 16 and my dad was 21.

They came from completely different backgrounds (Mom was Native, grew up very poor in a rural area with alcoholic parents; dad was a spoiled Mama's boy, but had a strict German father, and both my grandparents really disliked my mom for years and years) and still loved each other enough to try again regardless of the hell they'd put each other through during the divorce.

My dad and former stepdad became friends, and they hang out every night just working on cars and playing cards. So weird.


Genesis Said It Best...

My dad and my step-mom divorced when I was 14 (1994). They went a few years where they barely spoke to each other, except when dad picked up my half-brother and half-sister. My brother did most of the home maintenance and landscaping around the house until he graduated from high school. After my brother went to college, my dad started cutting the grass for her and doing the home repairs she couldn't do. They soon started going to dinner together once in awhile. Then they started hanging out and watching TV together and sometimes it would get late and dad would sleep on the couch.

After my sister went to college, he started staying over more and more often and we'd celebrate holidays together again. Whenever they'd have an argument, he'd just go back to his house and give her time to simmer down. This went on for years.

Finally, after being divorced for over 20 years, they decided it was stupid to have two separate houses, so they officially got back together and bought a new house. They keep separate bedrooms (dad downstairs, step-mom upstairs), so if they have an argument, they can get away and let things cool off.

They remind me of a line from a Genesis song: "We can not live together and we cannot live apart. That's the situation and I've known it from the start."


Sometimes, You Need A White Board To Map The Love Out

My fiancées mom is on her fourth marriage, to her third person. This guy was her second husband, my fiancées dad was her third, and then she left him to remarry the second guy after almost 40 years. It's totally weird.

Edit: to be absolutely clear: Husband one: A Husband two: B Husband three: C (my in-laws) Husband four: B, again


Sometimes, It Never Works, No Matter How Many Times You Try


My parents never loved each other, constant intense fights, finally got divorced when I was 13. Dad bought a house, furnished it, but never moved in. Without showing any affection or explaining anything to me and my younger siblings, they remarried. Then they divorced again when I was 17.

Also, they were very against therapy, which we all could have really benefited from. We're all f-cked up now. So if you're a parent and you're denying your child mental health treatment or ignoring their need for it, don't be surprised when they grow up and go no contact with you. Emotional neglect and abuse is real, and damages every aspect of a person's life for a very long time, possibly forever. Even with treatment later in life.

Also, some people just shouldn't be parents. Not everyone is physically/financially/emotionally well suited for it. Having children is a choice. Children are not an extension of yourself, they are not your therapist or best friend, and having them doesn't 'fix' relationships. Seriously.


Sometimes, All It Takes Is Time To Realize...

We got married in our early 20s. Had a few happy years together and eventually had several problems all at once, from money to illness. Everything became tension and we ended up hating each other, I got a load of mental health problems as a result and we separated and divorced amicably.

Over 3 years we would sporadically talk on social media or the phone over Xmas or birthdays etc but it would always end up an argument over long standing bitterness over something. Eventually I wrote a letter saying that I couldn't talk to her again as it always turned into an emotional rollercoaster and it wasn't healthy. I admitted a load of stuff and at the same time got off my chest what I thought of her at the time, and we stopped contact.

Another few years later she messaged me on Facebook about something to do with a mutual friend, we got chatting and agreed to meet up for a drink. Everything went well, and we saw each other more often and eventually we started a relationship. During that time talked over those old issues and we both realised that we had matured and had been improved in the areas we previously struggled with due in part to the divorce and also that we were now that much more emotionally mature.

We went away on holiday and in secret got remarried at Gretna Green, with 2 shopkeepers as our witnesses. 7 years later, we live an increasingly self sustainable life with allotments, two dogs, chickens and have done lots of life laundry to work less and spend as much time as possible together. I'm a full time mature student, and she has various part time casual jobs in her field. The less money we have, the happier we have become.

We always knew we should be together I think, it was just a matter of timing and maturity.


H/T: Reddit

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When you know your kids backwards and forwards, this is the best tool in your arsenal.

Getting our kids to listen to us is not always the easiest of tasks. They're willful and stubborn, but we've got a mighty weapon they are rarely prepared for: reverse psychology. Getting them to convince themselves to want to do something against their own initial intentions takes some work and a whole lot of creativity, but a little sneaky manipulation goes a long way. Here are some clever parents' tricks that are definitely worth taking notes on.

Redditor u/LeanderD Asks:

Parents of reddit, what's your best example of reversed psychology on your kids that actually worked?

He Floated His Idea Through A Back Channel


Wanted to name my boat. Anything I would think of was dismissed as stupid by my 13 year old son. After deciding on a name, I confided to a male friend my son liked. Made my friend suggest the name as though it was his idea. My son thought the name was perfect. Done.


We Always Want What We Can't Have

One of my best friends through childhood used to be punished with no salad if she misbehaved. She cherishes salad now and would always try to eat as much as possible during school lunch. Coincidentally, her now husband used to be punished with no books, it had the same effect. I think it's hilarious that they'd be hitting the salad bar and library like some black market their narc parents couldn't reach hahaha.


A Deceit That's A Cut Above The Rest


Don't know if this counts, but, at my high school (private, boys only) in the 1960's, they made a big deal about how long your hair was, and would occasionally order a boy to go home and "get a haircut".

I thought it was stupid, until years later, a master confided to me at a reunion that the policy was deliberate. The school figured we'd spend so much energy rebelling about hair length, that we would ignore other aspects of teenage rebellion. (Not?) Surprisingly, they were mostly right.


Damn! That's smart. Wow.


Oh they don't like long hair?

I'll show them. I'll grow my hair out as lon- what?! No I don't want to go "party"? I gotta try out this horse shampoo.


The Forbidden Book

Hi I was a victim,

There was a forbidden book that I was not allow to read on the shelf. My parents said I could only read it if I behave myself.

It was summer holidays and I was playing games all day (after 6 hrs of summer homework). One day I was home alone and had the opportunity to grabbed it. I read like half of it in one go. It was 5000 years of Chinese history.

Safe to say I was bamboozled.


Flowers Of The Queen

My parents always told me my broccoli were the flowers of the queen and that I really shouldn't eat them, or else the queen would get very upset! I, of course, ate the whole broccoli in a few seconds.


I'm telling the queen and she's gonna be pissed


Sleeping Beauty


I taught my kids when they were toddlers that no amount of yelling, shaking or hitting can wake a sleeping adult. The only thing that works is a gentle hug and/or a nice kiss on the cheek.

Edit: Probably needed some more details for the reverse psychology aspect to be clear. It went something like this - Step one, tell the kids I'm going to sleep and nothing they do will wake me (head buried face down is the safest position). Step two, after the initial onslaught dies down pretend to awaken on your own. Tell them you got a bit of nap left in you and nothing can wake you, especially not hugs and kisses.


Holy sh*t...if my daughter woke me up like this I would buy her a pony.


I am saving this comment because this will save lives if I ever have kids, stg.


A Walk In Someone Else's Shoes.

Split custody with my ex. When my son was around 10, he visited two weekends a month. I was waiting tables and didn't have a huge amount to spend, but he was so needy from divorce (and I'm not blaming him, it was ugly), he begged constantly for MORE when he was with me. Whatever more was, it didn't matter... he'd be eating ice cream cone and begging for teriyaki.

I finally realized that he just felt empty, and getting MORE whatever from me wasn't filling him up. His next visit I handed him $100 in cash and told him it was our food/fun budget for 3 days and two nights, and he was in charge of it. I bought him his own wallet to carry. We figured out how many times we were going to eat and what we were going to do, and he paid. He got to keep whatever money he had left...thought he was rich...then realized just how much everything cost. Well. Shoe on other foot then. If we had no money for food, we ate leftovers - and I didn't contribute more to pot. After a few weekends of running short or not getting something he actually wanted because he was foolish with funds, he started to really think about how to spend that money. He budgeted and kept to his budget. And a few times he actually went home with a little cash for his private stash.

Many years later, he thanked me for this. It really changed the way he thought about money and love.


This Is Worth Giving A Shot

Took my 3 year old son to one of those doctor's visits where he was going to get a shot. He was worried about the shot on the whole drive over, almost to the point of tears. We get to the doctor's office and a nurse subtly lets me know that my son is not just scheduled for 1 shot, but 5 of them in the same visit.

I turn to my son with an exaggerated smile and tell him, "Good news! They figured out how to take that one big shot you were going to get and instead break it up into these 5 little tiny shots so it won't hurt nearly as much!"

You could see the relief wash over his face. He stopped squirming and relaxed completely. He took the first shot and even smiled and said "It's true! The small ones don't hurt!"

We actually made it through the third shot before the effect wore off and reality kicked in. Still... I counted it as a victory.


Put This To The Taste


My mom would tell me she only lets me eat soup after candy and she'd only buy me candy that i didn't like. After a few times, i stopped trying and begged her to let me eat soup first. She gave me a smirk and told me go ahead. This doesn't sound as evil as it was. But trust me i suffered.


So what was the candy?


Mint chocolate, raisins, stuff like that. I still hate them to this day. Who the f--- thought while eating chocolate "hmm id like some tooth paste with this."


This is Truckin' Awesome

Mum had sworn a bit around the house.

When 4, while out at the supermarket, I said F word really loudly.

Very quickly and intently, she asked if I had just said "Truck" and said that was a bad word and not to ever say Truck like that again.

I thought that was the bad word so used that when being naughty.


The "Silly Mom" Routine

The "Silly Mom" routine.

My kid, and a few other kids I've known, would balk at getting ready to go. I'd grab their clothes and say, "Well, if you won't put on your clothes, I guess I'll put on your clothes. Cute shirt, by the way! Does it go on my foot?"


"Does it go on my head?"


"Oh, that's right, thanks! So, it must go on your legs, right?"


"I just can't figure this out! Where does this adorable shirt go?"

[kid grabs shirt and puts it on] ON MY TUMMY! SILLY MOM!

"Oh, thank you so much! Now what about these pants? Shirts go on tummies, so...the pants go on the tummy, too, right?"


[continue until kids have dressed themselves]

I would also do things like hand the kid my keys and say, "Alright, you're driving, I'll sit in the booster seat in back," attempt to feed the kid by putting a spoon up to his ear or his belly button, and attempt to put away his toys in the refrigerator.


Some Foot For Thought.


My mum would always yell at us "if you don't do X, you have to go to bed without socks!"

I never wore socks anyway, and I'm ashamed to admit that this worked.


That would work really well on my son, or make him cry for a really long time... He's 3 and over the last few weeks has decided that he is fully unable to sleep without socks on.


Toddlers man. Completely unpredictable.


I'm Greens With Envy

My mum had a friend that would put vegetables on her own plate and not the kids.

When the kids asked she would be reluctant to share, "that's grown up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little."

Her kids grew up loving vegetables.

I sat at the dinner table for 3 hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat.


This reminds me of an instance when my child convinced my wife and myself to change our plans for dinner. We were in a grocery store to pick up something quick and easy to eat that we wouldn't have to prepare. Our daughter, wanted none of that, she demanded that she wanted a salad from the salad bar. We started to argue back, but then realized: "Our child demands that we feed her vegetables for dinner instead of a microwaved meal, why are we saying 'No?'"

We had salad for dinner that night.


The Power Of Choice

I don't so much know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn't realize it until my dad told me this.

When there were chores that needed doing, he noticed if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I'd pick one and just get it done.

Shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my twenties. I use it when I'm coaching or baby sitting all the time and it almost never fails.


The Boy Who Cried 'Ouch'


I've done this one with tens of kids. Any time a kid gets "hurt" (falls down on grass, gets gently hit in the face with a ball, etc.) instead of stopping the activity to pick the kid up and see if they're ok you just scoot them off to the side and resume. Within 10 seconds of not getting all the attention and seeing the fun is resuming they pop right back up and are magically healed.

This of course is only for the "injuries" that aren't actually injuries.


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