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Pampered Dog Who Eats Steak And Has An Expensive Designer Jacket Will Be The Ring Bearer At Her Owners' Wedding

PA REAL LIFE/Collect

A pampered pooch who enjoys a snifter of Pawsecco with her steak dinner – after a wash and blow dry using £70 vegan shampoo – is now set to be a ring carrier at her owners' May wedding.

For Cockapoo Lola is so spoilt by Lu Short, 27, and her fiancé, Chris Wilkinson, 29, that the young professionals even moved 35 miles from their chic pad in east London's Docklands to a doggy des res in Chelmsford, Essex, so she could have a garden.

Completely potty about the cuddly canine, they spend $250 a month just on her food and accessories like perfume and toys, clean her teeth with special canine chicken toothpaste and give her nightly head massages.

Lola (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

And when they tie the knot on 18 May at the beautiful All Saints Church in Ulting, Essex, she will play a major role, according to Chris, who said: “She will feature very heavily during the day and will be carrying the rings at some point.

“But she won't be allowed into the actual church, as it's literally three metres from a river, so there's a big danger she'll run into it for a swim, then shake muddy water over everyone's nice clothes and Lu's white dress!"

Chris, who is chief of staff at pet well-being company Paws.com, met senior paediatric nurse Lu when they lived on the same floor at their halls in Kings College, London, in September 2009, where they were both studying for degrees – him in geography and her in nursing.

Lola (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

Soon a couple, they bought Lola from a breeder near Stansted Airport, Essex, in April 2018, Lu having begged Chris to get a dog for six months.

But it was Chris who first broke the rules they had made about “no dogs on the bed."

Lu laughed: “Every night Lola comes and says goodnight to us and we give her a head massage until she falls asleep."

Lola (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

She continued: “Even though he wasn't big on the idea of having a dog, Chris started secretly sneaking her up to for little sleep overs after the first two weeks that we had her and now she has her own bed in our room, but she sleeps with us most of the time.

“She also has a daily massage with special paw butter, costing £20 so she doesn't get cracked paws, but it's mainly to make them smell nice. No one likes cracked paws and she sometimes gets smelly feet!"

As well as all her luxuries at home, Lola has her own pet passport and has enjoyed deluxe doggy holidays with her owners at $125 per night dog friendly hotels – dining in top restaurants in the upmarket French city of Le Touquet.

Lola (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

Lu continued: “She loves going on holiday and has been to France, the Cotswolds and Edinburgh. She regularly goes to the pub, too, where she has a lot of fans – although not as many as she has on her Instagram @lola_itsadogslife, where she has over 1,600 followers!"

And, with fans to please, no self-respecting doggy diva would be seen out in anything less than the latest canine couture.

With that in mind, the couple bought Lola her very own $250 Barbour jacket and collar set combo – a brand worn by royals including the Queen.

Lola with Chris (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

Lu said: “I spend all my money on her because she makes me happy, but it's Chris who gets her the big treats. Chris wasn't a dog lover, but now he's got Lola , he's quite obsessed with her, although he'd hate to admit it.

“One of the most expensive things we bought her was her full £200 Barbour set. I mean I haven't even got a Barbour jacket so I'm quite jealous of her on our walks. She's sat there all dry, while I get soaked."

But the couple are not the only people to be pampering their pooch, according to a new survey, which found that 67 per cent of Millennials see their dogs as a prototype for a child, with 46 per cent of young adults today being likely to own a dog before starting a family.

Lola, Lu and Chris (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

The report by Paws.com also found that young people, aged from 22 to 35 are choosing to have pets, over having children as they are cheaper, and 44 per cent – like Lu and Chris – throw their dogs birthday parties.

For Lola's first birthday on 12 February 2019, the couple dressed her up in a party hat and threw a little private event for her.

Lu, who cooks extra for her pooch whenever they have a roast dinner, recalled: “We made a really big fuss of her, put her in a party hat, which she loved and fed her a big freshly cooked rib eye steak."

Lola's pet passport (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

She continued: “And of course we sang her happy birthday.

“But she's used to being serenaded. We have little songs we sing to her where we just add Lola to them and she loves it.

“Chris is better at it than me but this morning I was singing the song about being the three best friends that anyone could have from The Hangover."

(PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

In return for all their time, money and effort, Lu and Chris, who make sure Lola gets four walks every day, say they receive priceless amounts of pleasure.

When they suffered a heartbreaking family bereavement in early 2019, it was her unconditional love that helped them to get through it.

Lu said: “She would go to everyone in our family one by one when we were all at our lowest. It's like she just instinctively knew when to give comfort and how to be there for people."

Lola and Chris (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

She continued: “There's so much stress around and actually people just need to connect more with real life and she connects me to it.

“I always wanted to be a vet, but took a different path and now any kind of animal brings me so much happiness and enjoyment.

“If I do something for her, like giving her some steak, it's worth every penny, because she gets so ecstatically happy about something so simple."

Lola's roast dinner (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

While Lola loves life's luxuries, she can still be a naughty little mutt at times.

Lu laughed: “She'll have a nice bath and smell lovely and then decide to roll in fox poo.

“We have special shampoo for the fox poo because the expensive vegan stuff won't cut it for that."

Lola wearing her Barbour jacket (PA REAL LIFE/Collect)

She continued: “I would have liked her to be involved in our actual wedding ceremony and definitely want her to be part of the day, but, knowing how naughty she can be, I'm not allowing her in the church, as I have visions of my beautiful white dress and her jumping up for a cuddle, with her muddy paws.

“I love her dearly, but that might not be a great combination on my big day!"


Addiction makes you do strange things...

Addictions are dangerous. It takes a hold of your life and strangles it. It festers slowly and disintegrates your world. Well most of them do. We all have behavioral addictions that often become a quirky character trait. Sometimes it can actually be cute. Well certain behaviors within reason that is. Some can be downright annoying and fodder for the therapist.

Redditor u/milanamilana asked people to divulge a few things, asking... What's your "strange addiction"?

Ah the cones...

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When I am out walking in wooded areas I spend a lot of time trying to find pine cones to stand on.

I do it because when you find a suitably dry one it feels amazing and sounds so good. Do it. Tends to work best if they are stood upright. wewannagetloaded

The sound of music...

I will listen to music for hours on end while walking around a room, imagining various stories and scenarios. Glissando365

I do that constantly. It doesn't interfere with my life but I love coming up with all kinds of stories and dropping myself into them. ParsnipPizza2

Flesh eater.

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Chewing the inside of my mouth. classik_e

My 30 year old sister has done this her whole life, and I have never seen or met anyone else that does it as noticeably as her. She'll take the second knuckle of her index finger and push her cheek in so she can chew on it. She's gotten better about not doing it as often. I've never asked her why she does it. yolkfacekilla

Daydream Believer. 

I'm not sure how common this is but shopping for million dollar penthouses and yachts that I will never be able to afford. I just like to dream I guess. ShellSwitch

I do this a ton, it's my night time wind down in bed activity to look at /r/roomporn and imagine myself as the buyer. What I would change, what I like etc etc. ExeterMegaladon

Yuck! 

This is so gross but I am addicted to picking. Pimples, dry skin, scabs, anything pick-able I will dig at it till I bleed. No I am not on drugs. It's so bad that I am contemplating hypnosis. Annon8765

I'm so hangry!

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Going through the kitchen in search of food, giving up, then lowering my standards and looking again. bibi-chocobun

I do this ALL THE TIME!!!!

I open the fridge, look around, take a mental note of what is there and close the doors and walk away. an hour later i come back and open the fridge, look around and think of what i might want... as if my stomach wants it, but my brain says no. tunersharkbitten

Look at the people...

Analyzing other people when I'm out in public. I enjoy trying to figure out who they are just by what I see. DARKcsb

I like doing this with my mom.

We would guess "who went with who" at the food court in the mall when I was growing up. We would look at people with their trays of food and try to guess who their significant other was waiting at the table.

My mom was almost always right. It's a fond memory :) girlroseghost

Staying mute...

I'm addicted to avoiding phone calls. QiNavigator

I purposefully reply to texts with at least hour delay so it's not fishy that I am never able to accept any calls.OresteiaCzech

I found a reality series...

Giphy

Donating sperm to lesbians.

I started off donating to some friends then they began recommending me to other lesbians through a FB group.

It's so rewarding and I've fathered 7 so far. Socialist7

Thank you for reading! 

Reading creepy stories on Reddit, which I guess isn't that strange. Alec122

And then regretting it when you try to sleep? Because that's what I do. CautiousMusic

REDDIT

Sam Tabone/WireImage via Getty Images, Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic via Getty Images

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If you talk to anyone studying English as a second language, they'll tell you how hard it is to learn. If you grew up speaking English as your only language, it probably doesn't seem that difficult; but as a bilingual native English speaker who learned a second language later in life I can tell you, English is WEIRD!

English has so many inconsistencies in spelling, pronunciation, verb conjugation...don't get me started. American English, UK English, and Australian English all spell things differently and the same word can have completely different meanings or connotations.

It wasn't until my freshman year of high school when I started learning Japanese, in which a word is always pronounced exactly like it looks like it should be, that I gained a real understanding of how hard English would be for someone to try to learn as a second language. Even as a native speaker who loves the English language and writes for a living, I sometimes struggle with its many homophones (there, their, and they're, for example) and grammatical inconsistencies. Even our mnemonics that are taught in school to help remember these differences don't always hold true. "I before E, except after C" is something most American children are taught in elementary school, but what about neighbor, weight, and veil?

Redditor STUDkatz asked:

What's something weird about English (or another language) that native speakers don't think about?

Below, you'll find an assortment of the weird quirks of the language that you've probably never thought about.

My Brain Hurts

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English might be difficult. It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.

-SpeeeeedBoost

It's Right, But Why?

A native speaker has a knowledge of implicit grammar (through learning naturally as a child) that would require an adult years to study and review.

You're spewing out the correct answer but god help you if someone asks you to show your work.

-BaanThai

I am an editor and I still sometimes have trouble when asked why something should be a certain way. I just KNOW it's wrong (or correct) and I can't always explain why.

-Lil-Maece

It took until i was 16 to realize there's actually a rule to figure out if you should use a or an... Before that (and admittedly since) I was just going with the one that didn't sound dumb out loud

-booneruni

Unnecessary Combination

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People assume a lot of silly things, such as words that can be combined always are.

Examples: "Yeah I maybe doing that later." or "I do that everyday."

I want to punch myself for writing that.

-PM_ME_A_PLANE_TICKET

Running A Bit Long

Run has hundreds of uses (forms). Last I checked it was a little over 250. You run a program, you run over toads in your car, the chicken run has a duck in it, The ads run too long on the TV, you run out of toilet paper, you run down to the shop in the car, you run up a bill at the shop after the assistant gave you the run around. You run into a friend but you have to run home as you had the runs and something was running down your leg. You run to the toilet but you run into a problem. Your kid is running a lemonade stand in the doorway. You're now running a little brown cable along your path. You hope nobody takes a picture and runs it in the paper as you are running for office. Your stance is against gun runners but you're hauling a little brown nuke right now. I've run out but there's more.

-PapaOoMaoMao

Sometimes The Joke Is In The Translation

Pakistani urdu-english speaker, there are a LOT of words that are absolutely hilarious when taken in the context of english but my 2 favorite have to be which is a letter in the urdu alphabet and is pronounced exactly like "Meme" and another which is a punjabi name which is literally spelled and pronounced "Butt", there is also a national level bakery brand called "Butt"

Urdu is a great language

-Theodoric___

Strength Or Weakness?

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There is a common nine letter word with only a single vowel in English.

That word is "strengths".

-Wobbles42

Ordered Descriptors

Adjectives have a specific order they are supposed to be arranged. For example, you would never say the green large five dragons. You would say the five large green dragons. The order that English typically follows for adjectives is:

1. Quantity or number

2. Quality or opinion

3. Size

4. Age

5. Shape

6. Color

7. Proper adjective

8. Purpose or qualifier

-TinkerTailorSoldjur

Rhymes with Confusion

Read and lead rhyme and so do read and lead, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.

-LinnyFlower

About Time You Realized It

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I never really appreciated the word "about" until I started learning French and realized there are about a couple dozen different words you have to learn about where in English we would just say "about." It's just about one of the most versatile and useful words we have.

-schnit123

Confusing Combos

Native English speaker here.

How irritatingly complex and nuanced English (and other Germanic languages) verbs are for having tons of common verbs that change meaning completely or only subtly with one flip of a preposition and sometimes even more so by stacking a few more on.

Put + on, in, out, off, toward, into, forth, away, up, up with, down, past

Set + on, off, out, in, up, down

Run + off, on, out, into, away, up, down, over, at, through

Take + on, out, in, away, up, over, off

Break + in, out, up, down, up with, into, out of away

Give + up, out, away, in, out

Get + on, in, out, up, down, away, away with, along, by, back, through, across, over, into, at

Work + up, up to, out, through

Come + in, out, by, across, through, over, at

Do + in, away with, over, up

Hang + up, in, out, out with, over, with, off, back

Then ones where the options are fewer, they're either somewhat related or *not at all*.

Chat vs chat someone up.

Make something up vs make out.

This list isn't exhaustive because I got tired of thinking but I've heard many a friend moan and groan about how every combination seems like a whole new word or phrase to memorize. That even if it looks familiar, they can't trust it. Most other languages just have a unique word for each idea or at least morphology that is somehow linked. Work + through makes sense in that it implies you're belaboring or in the midst of resolving something (imagine pushing *through* something). So some make at least a little logical sense. Put + up + with has no clue in it that it means to endure or tolerate. Come + over is just like "went from toward me above something?"

Set + off (an alarm) makes no sense at all. Isn't it actually going *on*?

Break + in (to use a new item for the first time, implying the start of the process of making it yours) — just "breaking" your boots is bad but if you do it on the inside, it's desired?

Give + out as in, "my car's engine gave out." (went kaput) Did it hand you a piece of candy?

If repeating doing something is "doing something over," then what do these mean:

"coming over"

"handing over"

"taking over"

"getting over"

At least in languages like Spanish that are better stocked in the logic department, these all are treated as different ideas that they are.

Venir a visitar

Entregar

Encargarse de

Superar

EDIT: Spelling mistakes and additional examples.

-stanographer

H/T: Reddit

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