We say that honesty is the best policy.
But we also believe that some things are better left unsaid.
This is a story about the aftermath that happens when those two ideas collide, honesty wins, and things get ... intense.
Before we get started, there are some things you may need to know to understand how the AITA subReddit works. Firstly, AITA stands for "Am I The A$hole?" and is really the standing question everyone is asking.
The original poster (OP) tells everyone what's up, explains what happened and asks AITA. Reddit users read and vote using simple abbreviations.
There's even a handy voting guide! Lets keep things simple, though.
These are the most relevant abbreviations.
- YTA - You're The A$$hole
- NTA - Not The A$$hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A$$holes Here
So, back to Redditor blu_sky00 and his wife's unwelcome honesty.
So he and his wife are on a tipsy zoom call between them and their close friends, They ended up playfully talking about who their "cheat pass" would be. Almost everyone else chose a celebrity.
Not this guy's wife, though.
She ... went a different route.
"I have a non identical twin brother named Justin. I'm under no illusion that he's the better looking between us. He's a great guy if not a bit philandering."
"Since we were bored yesterday, we video called my friend Daniel and his wife and we just caught up with each other over a couple glasses of wine. We eventually got to playing this game where someone asks a question and we all answer."
"I asked everyone who their cheat pass (someone you would cheat with if allowed) is and everyone gave celebrities crushes as expected, except my loving wife."
"She first asked about specifics. Whether it was just a one time thing, the whole night or a fling. We all agreed on whole night and then she blurted "Then Justin! Omg we'd fck all night long". We all broke into laughter because we thought she was talking about Justin Bieber."
"Daniel then made a comment about Timberlake being better than Bieber and my wife clarified that she actually meant my twin brother Justin."
"Like wtf? Obviously things got awkward so they ended the call and we got into a fight over it."
"She said I shouldn't be angry because I was the one who asked her and now I'm judging her truthful answer. I spent the night in the guest room and even this morning she was completely unapologetic and said I should be the one apologizing for being an ass last night and "judging her truth". Aita?"
OK so you know how we said earlier that honesty is the best policy, but also some things are better left unsaid?
Yeah ... Imagine how awkward for the homies who had to try to just sliiiiiiiide on out of there.
Oh God Reaction GIFGiphy
Yes, he absolutely asked her a loaded question and just straight up didn't like her honest answer. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever been given is never to ask a question you don't really want to know the answer to.
Homie wasn't ready, but we can't really say we're surprised.
So the question on the table before Reddit now is simple. Is this guy the a$hole here for getting upset?
People had a blast with this one.
ready tom hanks GIFGiphy
"NTA. I'm a person who usually believes that if you aren't going to like the answer then don't ask the question but not for this situation. Usually when someone mentions a "cheat pass" they're generally talking about celebrities- not their spouse's siblings."
"Plus it was uncool of her to also say that they'd "fck all night long". That just seems like she has thought about it definitely more than once. If my boyfriend said that about my sister I'd be highly upset and frankly a little insecure." - BumbleBri7
"Also, she had the opportunity to remedy it. They made it clear that they were talking about celebs with the "Bieber or Timberlake" comment. But she just...went with it anyway? And then doubled down later." - darthvadersbanana
"NTA. Holy sht I would honestly dump her for that."
"Those questions are "fun" because celebrities are unattainable and thus the answers mean nothing because that shit would never happen - kind of like, if you could live anywhere and you pick Saturn - sounds cool but impossible."
"She enthusiastically chose your brother, and not just your brother, your brother who it seems you've been unfavorably compared to in terms of looks your entire life which makes it even more of an easy-to-hurt spot for you."
"She made it abundantly clear that she settled for you when it would be your brother she preferred. Seriously. I would never be able to come back from that. Holy hell." - vodka_philosphy
"NTA. It's not even the answer itself that is getting me, it's the way she said it... all night long huh?"
"It's not necessarily a red flag I guess. Like it doesn't really prove anything other than her being insensitive, but the way she said it was just so gross."
"She is a huge a$hole, and personally the way she said it, I wouldn't have peace of mind for awhile." - Metalciscokid
"Why do people ever play these 'games' with their partners? It's only going to lead to hurt no matter what they say."
"They say a celeb? You'd be a bit bothered but not too much, whatever. They say someone you know or they know or used to know? Still bothered. There's no right answer."
"Some things just should NOT be shared between couples. What's wrong with people for real" - GrandMarshalEzreus
"Yikes at this whole thing! I'm gonna go with NTA; your wife has obviously thought about fcking your brother before, in detail (by saying they would fck all night long) and instead of keeping that to herself she embarrassed you in front of your friends"
"I would be extremely worried if she is just waiting for an opportunity to mess with my brother if I were you. This was just supposed to be a fun lighthearted game, and it would never cross my mind to say anyone me or my partner know in real life. That's obviously going to cause insecurity issues."
"I think y'all need to have a serious conversation about her and her feelings towards your brother. The fact that she felt the need to make it clear she was talking about him instead of taking the out and going with the Bieber misunderstanding speaks volumes my friend!" - AMillionThings22
So how would you vote? Is he the a$hole for getting mad? You should't ask a question you don't really want the answer to right? Getting mad at someone's honest answer just proves you can't handle the truth.
Or is she the bad-guy this time? It was abundantly clear that everyone was talking about celebrities, she was given a perfect out when they thought she meant Justin Bieber. But she opted to "speak her truth" and essentially confess to fantasizing about her husband's brother.
Not just brother, but twin brother. The hotter twin. The "ladykiller" twin. The twin her husband clearly has an insecurity about. Some truths just aren't that important lady.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*