Just when you though they couldn't get any uglier, the fashion wizards at Crocs footwear decided to strap a fanny pack on the back of the infamous rubber eye sores.
Comfort we understand.
Who hasn't spent an entire weekend at home wearing pajama bottoms, a ratty old t-shirt and a light sprinkling of Cheetos dust?
But the question will always remain—how did the neon foam-resin monstrosities known as Crocs ever leave the feet of tired workers and enter into the limelight of pop-culture?
Well get ready, because they are about to get even worse.
Crocs add fanny packs, somehow get uglier https://t.co/hm2bFJK7JZ https://t.co/bbSimZV444— New York Post (@New York Post) 1556564460.0
Earlier this month Crocs launched a collaboration with the Japanese fashion brand Beams, announcing the unholy marriage between two of the worst atrocities ever committed in fashion, Crocs and fanny packs.
You have to see them to believe them, but why would you want to believe these exist?
The Crocs x Beams "Pocket Crocs" featured two small pouches, one on each ankle strap, which can of course be flipped forward to look even more stylish.
Offered in Ultraviolet or Tropical Teal the shoes are available on the Beams website for the low price of $53 and all your remaining self-respect.
Decent folks were of course appalled by the announcement and wondered how much pain the brand would continue to inflict on the world of fashion.
@ItsGoneAwry This is just nightmare food. They are sinfully ugly. If you saw someone actually wearing them, you'd doubt their mental health.— Gillian Dempsey (@Gillian Dempsey) 1556836654.0
@fox8news Why, I thought they looked stupid already. This is worse.— Dave (@Dave) 1556931426.0
No Crocs noooooo #crocs https://t.co/5JN6mRdbT7— Sammy (@Sammy) 1556600954.0
@ItsGoneAwry I just don’t understand the croc fad! They are so ugly!!! Lipstick on a pig?— Jonathan (@Jonathan) 1556816804.0
@jonodawg I have no idea who’s buying these lol— Navigator🧭 (@Navigator🧭) 1556818473.0
For god sake https://t.co/AjvL76l8kb— Jamie Lambert (@Jamie Lambert) 1556742978.0
@JamieCollabro The only croc Fanny pack I want to see. https://t.co/zTPIO9Z2v2— Steve Wightman (@Steve Wightman) 1556766051.0
@nypost If somehow Crocs haven’t already jumped the shark... https://t.co/9JPrr7twUU— JK (@JK) 1556571501.0
@nypost Crocs, cargo shorts, a fanny pack and you're ready for summer (the fanny pack is for all the extra condoms you won't be using).— Tristan Suede (@Tristan Suede) 1556565456.0
In true Crocs fashion though, scads of fans are lining up to ironically rock the new, even uglier Crocs.
In the world of Crocs uglier is apparently better.
Yoooo Croc is adding a design with a fanny pack on the straps. I’m STOKED https://t.co/x5lfRoYlhu— Anna Elizabeth (@Anna Elizabeth) 1556729138.0
I WANT A CROC FANNY PACK— cayla (@cayla) 1556574852.0
@beefybillie omg that’d be swag 🤪🤠✌️— sofia // 🤠☆ (@sofia // 🤠☆) 1556645710.0
@beefybillie fanny packs: yes. crocs: maybe. together? HELL NO— grace (@grace) 1556641642.0
@iconchambie it’s a fashion statement😤😠— cayla (@cayla) 1556645165.0
@nypost Once I buy these it’s over for y’all.— Ninjasmurf (@Ninjasmurf) 1556907816.0
If you're trying to comfort yourself with the thought "well, at least they can't get any uglier," remember that is what you used to think before Pockets Crocs were released.
These are just the second sign of the coming Crocpocalypse.
And in case you think those bright clogs are all Crocs offers, think again.
There are boots (available here)...
...loafers (available here)...
...platforms (available here)...
...and heels (available here).
Those fanny packs are looking right at home.
Sometimes you have to go with function over form; comfort over fashion.