an Oh Myyy Property

Life is a gamble. In this day and age you have no idea what will be the effects of what falls out of your mouth. Most of the time we aren't clued in to anyone else's existence. So when the time comes we stick our proverbial "foot" in our mouths, it can be a bit... embarrassing. Most of the time it's done with no ill will but that can't take away the regret and self-induced shame.


Redditor slicketyslack wanted everyone to admit... What was the most genuinely awkward situation that you've ever witnessed or experienced?

Sober up before you speak...

Giphy

Not my story but a family friend.

He's a school principal, and he goes to a wine festival and on his way home (slightly drunk) on the train he runs into the parents of a boy he used to teach. They get to talking this and that when my family friends asks how the boy is... The parents just look shocked and say "he passed away last year... you were at the funeral... you spoke." He apologized profusely, but I think that's the most awkward story I've ever heard.

niwawhatuira

Always carry a compass...

I was visiting my girlfriend (now wife) in college one weekend. We went to a party and I ended up having WAY too much to drink and blacked out. We get back to her dorm room and both fall asleep (I'm definitely in her room next to her at this point).

I wake up on the floor with a bunch of blankets on me and a trash can next to my head. Must have been getting sick? I stand up to crawl back in bed to my girlfriend, but there is a woman with different color hair in her bed, and the sheets are different, and the shit on the walls is different too. That's when I panic and sprint out of the room, but I'm still super drunk and I tripped on the blankets on the floor and fall flat on my face. I walk out into the hallway with a bloody nose and I'm out of breath. Girlfriends room is right across the hall.

I walk in and she is sitting on the bed pissed. Apparently I got up to pee an hour earlier and never came back. She went looking for me and couldn't find me. She talked to the girls across the hall the next day and apologized on my behalf. They both apparently just laughed and said it was fine.

Their account (according to my wife): I just barged in the room complaining about something when I sat on the bed and realized that person wasn't my girlfriend. I apologized to them and said I was lost and that the best thing to do when you're lost is to stay put. So I sat on the floor waiting for my girlfriend to come find me, fell asleep, and they put blankets on me. Didn't get sick, but they weren't taking chances.

BruceWaynesTARDIS

I'll take mine caliente...

Giphy

In college I lived really close to my grandparent's house so they gave me a key and told me to "Stop on by anytime, don't worry about calling." So I did. My grandma was giving my grandpa a bj in the living room. I ALWAYS call now. It's been 10 years. My grandma's favorite marriage advice is to "keep it spicy." More power to them I guess but I'll never get that image out of my head.

The first time hanging out with my little brother after I broke his arm. Yikes...

jasonpeterwaterfalls

The rooms are alive with the Sound of... ;)

Went into my girlfriend's dorm to chill. We saw that her roommate was fully under her covers probably watching some TV show, so we said "hi" and laid down and chat for a bit.

She probably had her headphones on really loud or something because then we hear a vibrating sound while we were talking.

Neither of us address it and just go "ah ha ha, what's that sound?" After 10 minutes or so it gets heavier and it looks like she's moving under the covers. Then we addressed it to each other and decided rather than letting her know loud and clear that we're in the room, we just slowly and quietly left.

cjog210

Giphy

I was working as a bank teller. My allergies were going nuts. In fact everyone was. We all came into work eyes red and sneezing. Apparently the pollen count was at a record breaking high. Anyways we opened up and I help the first customer of the day. It went something like this.

Me: "Hi, how are you doing today?"

Her: "I'm actually not feeling so good."

Me: "oh, I'm sorry. Is it your allergies? I know me and my coworkers are feeling it pretty bad."

Her: "no, I had a miscarriage this morning."

Me: "........I'm sorry."

This was all through the drive through. I feel bad, I wish I could have comforted her a little bit, but I had no idea what to say.

Skippy_the_Hippi

30 is a killer!

Oh boy, oh boy do I have a story. My cousin was turning 30, so we were all(uncles, cousins etc, about 30 people) meeting at my grand parents house to celebrate and cut cake. An hour or two before we all made our way there, some of us coming from that far away, my grandfather had a heart attack. Before I got there, EMTS had come and gone and grandpa was pronounced dead. While waiting for the funeral home to come and collect the body, we all crowded around and left offerings/said prayers (traditional in my culture) and it was all very somber. My 30 year old cousin's mum (eldest daughter of the deceased), however, has some problems with narcissism, so while we're all praying she insists that we must still cut her daughters cake and sing happy birthday. She set up a stool to hold the cake OVER MY GRANDFATHER'S CORPSE and made her protesting daughter cut the cake right there while we all sit around the body and cake singing happy birthday through barely contained tears. They used this big butcher knife too and the whole time all I could imagine was somebody slipping and impaling grandpa. Honestly the absurdity of it all kind of distracted from the sting of grieving, so all in all it kind of worked out alright.

5Volt

We All Cry For Icecream

Teenage me didn't have a car yet. I went to go ask my mom if I could take it to go get ice cream with my sister. Got to my mom's room and she was crying really hard. Her best friend's son who was my age and I had been familiar with growing up had just committed suicide by stepping in front of a train. I don't know how I could've been that heartless, but I still asked to go get ice cream.

Meraxes26

I laugh uncontrollably....

Giphy

I was at a Starbucks on my commute, waiting for my drink and people watching. I watched a young mother and her toddler, clearly just started standing holding onto the back of the chair, and had this silent moment of being charmed by them. The mother took her foot off the bottom rung and stood up to get a stir stick and WHAP, the child went slamming face first into the floor.

There was a moment of silence and then SCREAMING. There was a splatter of blood, panic, the mother screaming for an ambulance.

And I.. started laughing??????????????? It was completely uncontrollable. I wasn't finding anything funny, I was completely horrified and yet I couldn't stop flat out guffawing. I was covering my mouth, hysterically laughing this throaty laugh nearly in this woman's face. I couldn't keep it down, my face was in a horrified expression but it just kept happening. The tension in that room before I left - easily the most awkward experience of my life. I have no idea what the heck happened.

awallpapergirl

Ashes to ashes... wife to wife?

Attended a memorial/funeral in Japan for an American sailor. His wife was there, and his ex-wife was there also, and his Japanese "wife" was there as well. It was rumored that there was also another girlfriend but if there was, she didn't show. The best part was the poor dude giving the eulogy talking about what a great person this guy was while these three women are giving each other the stink eye.

GabbyJohnsonWasRight

REDDIT

Leaving a mark...

Apologizing to my SO's father in person for sucking on his daughter's neck and leaving a hickey wasn't exactly the coolest moment I've experienced in my life.

_Than0s

Scooby, Scooby-Doo where are you?

Giphy

One Halloween I was walking with a group of friends to one friend's apartment. I don't remember how it happened, but they got a little ahead of me. I figured it was no big deal, we were entering the apartment complex and I had been to their apartment before.

So I get to the apartment door and knock. Nobody answered, but I knew they were expecting me any second so I just opened the door and went in. There was nobody in the living room, so I headed to the kitchen, where I scared the crap out of some guy I'd never seen before. I turned around and ran out of his apartment, apologizing all the way.

He followed me out a bit slower and asked me what had happened. I explained, and he said he didn't know my friends, but was just moving in. And that's the story of how I barged into a stranger's apartment dressed like Velma from Scooby Doo. I texted my friends and found they had moved to a larger apartment within the complex recently, and failed to mention it.

shinymathom

I would go to a 2nd language tutor once a week & she was married to a cop. One day I arrived for my session & it was very clear that they were in the middle of an argument & she had been crying but urged me inside anyways & started going over the lesson. He then walked into the room, stood over me & told me to leave whilst she told me to stay. They then started arguing over me. It was very, very uncomfortable.

I left & that was the last time I went there. To be completely honest I have often thought back & wondered if I should have said something to someone... but to who? And what..? That something 'felt' off? I've been curious if they stayed together or if they broke up.

Leannderthal1976

Where there is smoke...

When I was 11, my family had a BBQ & they invited some friends who had kids that imo were "super cute." I was a hot mess of a tomboy so I high tailed into the shower thinking I had time before they arrived... boy, was I wrong.

I got out of the shower in my towel to hear the boys already serving their plates. I quickly go into my room. Now this room didn't have a lock & my room was the unspoken-designated kids room to eat in & play, I hear their footsteps coming closer & I duck into closet. I'm in a towel, hair frizzy, water dripping on to closet floor...I hear the boys sit on the bed, turn on tv & eat delicious BBQ.

Then, I guess, my mom & aunt notice I'm not there & that's not possible since I love food I shoulda been first with my greedy butt. Search begins...The boys don't even bother to leave when their mom came in to tell them to help find me...instead they open closet door to find me. (Now I assume it was a sarcastic attempt in searching lol) I panicked when they reached the closet and pretended I was asleep...they shook me to 'wake' me up and told everyone I was asleep in a towel in the closet. Commence house wide laughter, even the boys were laughing!! I still feel the awkwardness and that was like 30 years ago haha.

Sofybunny

Mommie Dearest... oops.

Giphy

I was on a road trip (passenger) and sexting with my girlfriend. During the steamy conversation I got a text saying "Please stop somewhere and get some sleep tonight, don't try to do the whole trip in one day." I assumed it was another text from my girlfriend, so I replied "well judging from how horny you made me, I don't know if I'll be able to sleep." It was my mom.

Phil_Drill

Too many feelings...

A group of three ladies that I recognized as regular customers were shopping. Three of the ladies are sisters but there is a significant age gap between oldest and youngest, maybe 10-15 years. The youngest sister was carrying her newborn who was a bit fussy, and at various points, she would hand the baby off to the oldest sister.

My newish coworker came up to chat with/help them and to fuss over the baby. Not knowing these women, she assumed that the oldest sister who was helping with the baby was actually the baby's grandmother (rather than aunt) and commented good-naturedly on how sometimes babies just want their grandmas and grandmas know best sometimes.

This was, of course, the exact wrong thing to say because:

  1. Oldest sister was of course dismayed at being an aunt being mistaken for a grandma
  2. All three sisters were shopping for something for the youngest sister (who was still adjusting to her post-pregnancy body) to wear to their mother's funeral. The baby would never see their grandma and here's this saleslady waxing on about how important grandmas are.

The three sisters burst into tears which of course set the baby off as well, which caused everyone around to stare. They were still staring when the middle sister (not being flooded with post partum hormones or the adrenaline that comes from being mistaken for your sister's mom) eventually was able to explain the situation to my very alarmed and horrified coworker.

Cheerful-Litigant

Went up behind someone thinking they were my sister, and asked, "Hey how much money do you have?"

She turned around, and it was not my sister. I just walked away saying sorry.

_ZeroRoy_

Giphy

On the way to a conference on the train. Nature called, so off I went to the on-board toilet. Hit the open button, door starts it's long, slow opening and greeted with the screams of a woman in full pants down squat who forgot to lock the door. Being British, I apologize, hit the close button and wait outside, avoiding eye contact when the woman exits.

Fast forward 2 hours, I am front row for one of the conference talks and who should take the stage? Yup.

Is it a boy or a girl?

On a plane flight there was a guy across the aisle from me, and a pretty large woman sitting behind him. After the flight the two of them were standing in the aisle waiting for the door to open, and he turned around to her and said, "This would be a terrible time to have that baby!" Hardy har har. I already knew, but the look on her face confirmed that she was not pregnant.

Scrappy_Larue

Safety first...

Back in high school, buddy of mine was buying lube and some other stuff at Walmart but not condoms. He got all trigger shy and didn't wanna get rung out with it all so I said I'd do it. As the cashier is scanning items she looks at me and goes "huh you're getting all this, but where are the condoms?" With as straight of a face as I could I said, "he can't get pregnant." while gesturing to my buddy. She looked so uncomfortable she didn't say another word while ringing everything up.

Daddy4444

REDDIT

We're all self-conscious about something, and it doesn't help when our faults get thrown in our faces. You don't want doctors hinting that something is "weird down there," nor do you want someone to tell you you're balding. WE KNOW.

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Fox News, @hewster1369/Twitter

A guest on Fox News is being roasted online after his unusual description of how one would get high on marijuana.

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Hmmmm, I don't think THAT'S your essay....

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When you know your kids backwards and forwards, this is the best tool in your arsenal.

Getting our kids to listen to us is not always the easiest of tasks. They're willful and stubborn, but we've got a mighty weapon they are rarely prepared for: reverse psychology. Getting them to convince themselves to want to do something against their own initial intentions takes some work and a whole lot of creativity, but a little sneaky manipulation goes a long way. Here are some clever parents' tricks that are definitely worth taking notes on.

Redditor u/LeanderD Asks:

Parents of reddit, what's your best example of reversed psychology on your kids that actually worked?

He Floated His Idea Through A Back Channel

Giphy

Wanted to name my boat. Anything I would think of was dismissed as stupid by my 13 year old son. After deciding on a name, I confided to a male friend my son liked. Made my friend suggest the name as though it was his idea. My son thought the name was perfect. Done.

calypsodweller

We Always Want What We Can't Have

One of my best friends through childhood used to be punished with no salad if she misbehaved. She cherishes salad now and would always try to eat as much as possible during school lunch. Coincidentally, her now husband used to be punished with no books, it had the same effect. I think it's hilarious that they'd be hitting the salad bar and library like some black market their narc parents couldn't reach hahaha.

cookiearthquake

A Deceit That's A Cut Above The Rest

Giphy

Don't know if this counts, but, at my high school (private, boys only) in the 1960's, they made a big deal about how long your hair was, and would occasionally order a boy to go home and "get a haircut".

I thought it was stupid, until years later, a master confided to me at a reunion that the policy was deliberate. The school figured we'd spend so much energy rebelling about hair length, that we would ignore other aspects of teenage rebellion. (Not?) Surprisingly, they were mostly right.

FrankDrakman

Damn! That's smart. Wow.

fangxx456

Oh they don't like long hair?

I'll show them. I'll grow my hair out as lon- what?! No I don't want to go "party"? I gotta try out this horse shampoo.

DankeyKang11

The Forbidden Book

Hi I was a victim,

There was a forbidden book that I was not allow to read on the shelf. My parents said I could only read it if I behave myself.

It was summer holidays and I was playing games all day (after 6 hrs of summer homework). One day I was home alone and had the opportunity to grabbed it. I read like half of it in one go. It was 5000 years of Chinese history.

Safe to say I was bamboozled.

oddstodd

Flowers Of The Queen

My parents always told me my broccoli were the flowers of the queen and that I really shouldn't eat them, or else the queen would get very upset! I, of course, ate the whole broccoli in a few seconds.

Subwoofy

I'm telling the queen and she's gonna be pissed

draculacletus

Sleeping Beauty

Giphy

I taught my kids when they were toddlers that no amount of yelling, shaking or hitting can wake a sleeping adult. The only thing that works is a gentle hug and/or a nice kiss on the cheek.

Edit: Probably needed some more details for the reverse psychology aspect to be clear. It went something like this - Step one, tell the kids I'm going to sleep and nothing they do will wake me (head buried face down is the safest position). Step two, after the initial onslaught dies down pretend to awaken on your own. Tell them you got a bit of nap left in you and nothing can wake you, especially not hugs and kisses.

DrMethusael

Holy sh*t...if my daughter woke me up like this I would buy her a pony.

All-Seeing_Elon

I am saving this comment because this will save lives if I ever have kids, stg.

smerter

A Walk In Someone Else's Shoes.

Split custody with my ex. When my son was around 10, he visited two weekends a month. I was waiting tables and didn't have a huge amount to spend, but he was so needy from divorce (and I'm not blaming him, it was ugly), he begged constantly for MORE when he was with me. Whatever more was, it didn't matter... he'd be eating ice cream cone and begging for teriyaki.

I finally realized that he just felt empty, and getting MORE whatever from me wasn't filling him up. His next visit I handed him $100 in cash and told him it was our food/fun budget for 3 days and two nights, and he was in charge of it. I bought him his own wallet to carry. We figured out how many times we were going to eat and what we were going to do, and he paid. He got to keep whatever money he had left...thought he was rich...then realized just how much everything cost. Well. Shoe on other foot then. If we had no money for food, we ate leftovers - and I didn't contribute more to pot. After a few weekends of running short or not getting something he actually wanted because he was foolish with funds, he started to really think about how to spend that money. He budgeted and kept to his budget. And a few times he actually went home with a little cash for his private stash.

Many years later, he thanked me for this. It really changed the way he thought about money and love.

Augumenti

This Is Worth Giving A Shot

Took my 3 year old son to one of those doctor's visits where he was going to get a shot. He was worried about the shot on the whole drive over, almost to the point of tears. We get to the doctor's office and a nurse subtly lets me know that my son is not just scheduled for 1 shot, but 5 of them in the same visit.

I turn to my son with an exaggerated smile and tell him, "Good news! They figured out how to take that one big shot you were going to get and instead break it up into these 5 little tiny shots so it won't hurt nearly as much!"

You could see the relief wash over his face. He stopped squirming and relaxed completely. He took the first shot and even smiled and said "It's true! The small ones don't hurt!"

We actually made it through the third shot before the effect wore off and reality kicked in. Still... I counted it as a victory.

blackbird77

Put This To The Taste

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My mom would tell me she only lets me eat soup after candy and she'd only buy me candy that i didn't like. After a few times, i stopped trying and begged her to let me eat soup first. She gave me a smirk and told me go ahead. This doesn't sound as evil as it was. But trust me i suffered.

turkeypr0

So what was the candy?

Poster_Main

Mint chocolate, raisins, stuff like that. I still hate them to this day. Who the f--- thought while eating chocolate "hmm id like some tooth paste with this."

turkeypr0

This is Truckin' Awesome

Mum had sworn a bit around the house.

When 4, while out at the supermarket, I said F word really loudly.

Very quickly and intently, she asked if I had just said "Truck" and said that was a bad word and not to ever say Truck like that again.

I thought that was the bad word so used that when being naughty.

GodOfTheThunder

The "Silly Mom" Routine

The "Silly Mom" routine.

My kid, and a few other kids I've known, would balk at getting ready to go. I'd grab their clothes and say, "Well, if you won't put on your clothes, I guess I'll put on your clothes. Cute shirt, by the way! Does it go on my foot?"

NO!

"Does it go on my head?"

NO! IT GOES ON ME!

"Oh, that's right, thanks! So, it must go on your legs, right?"

NO!

"I just can't figure this out! Where does this adorable shirt go?"

[kid grabs shirt and puts it on] ON MY TUMMY! SILLY MOM!

"Oh, thank you so much! Now what about these pants? Shirts go on tummies, so...the pants go on the tummy, too, right?"

NO!

[continue until kids have dressed themselves]

I would also do things like hand the kid my keys and say, "Alright, you're driving, I'll sit in the booster seat in back," attempt to feed the kid by putting a spoon up to his ear or his belly button, and attempt to put away his toys in the refrigerator.

insertcaffeine

Some Foot For Thought.

Giphy

My mum would always yell at us "if you don't do X, you have to go to bed without socks!"

I never wore socks anyway, and I'm ashamed to admit that this worked.

Splittsky

That would work really well on my son, or make him cry for a really long time... He's 3 and over the last few weeks has decided that he is fully unable to sleep without socks on.

PJQueen

Toddlers man. Completely unpredictable.

SheaRVA

I'm Greens With Envy

My mum had a friend that would put vegetables on her own plate and not the kids.

When the kids asked she would be reluctant to share, "that's grown up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little."

Her kids grew up loving vegetables.

I sat at the dinner table for 3 hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat.

laik72

This reminds me of an instance when my child convinced my wife and myself to change our plans for dinner. We were in a grocery store to pick up something quick and easy to eat that we wouldn't have to prepare. Our daughter, wanted none of that, she demanded that she wanted a salad from the salad bar. We started to argue back, but then realized: "Our child demands that we feed her vegetables for dinner instead of a microwaved meal, why are we saying 'No?'"

We had salad for dinner that night.

Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

The Power Of Choice

I don't so much know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn't realize it until my dad told me this.

When there were chores that needed doing, he noticed if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I'd pick one and just get it done.

Shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my twenties. I use it when I'm coaching or baby sitting all the time and it almost never fails.

AppealToReason16

The Boy Who Cried 'Ouch'

Giphy

I've done this one with tens of kids. Any time a kid gets "hurt" (falls down on grass, gets gently hit in the face with a ball, etc.) instead of stopping the activity to pick the kid up and see if they're ok you just scoot them off to the side and resume. Within 10 seconds of not getting all the attention and seeing the fun is resuming they pop right back up and are magically healed.

This of course is only for the "injuries" that aren't actually injuries.

pedanticProgramer

Kelly Sullivan/Getty Images

The internet has been dominated this week with talk of Sony and Disney splitting over their agreement to have Spider-man in Marvel's Cinematic Universe.

After Deadline reported that negotiations had broken down in the contract renewal, everyone has had hot takes on the situation.

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Reddit user cuddlethrowawayy found himself in an awkward situation recently when his in-laws and wife chastised him for cuddling with his 15-year-old daughter while the family watched a movie.

On the famous subreddit "Am I The A**hole?" he told the entire story in a viral post entitled "AITA for telling my wife and in-laws to f*** off after they told me to stop cuddling my daughter?

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