People Explain Which Common Dating Deal-Breakers They Are Actually Into

Turns out if you're honest on a date, that can sometimes be misconstrued as a "red flag."

Strange, isn't it?

Why Wouldn't You Want To Go On Another Date?

"Being excited to go on another date, immediately."

"Could be codependency, or it could be that you're genuinely that interesting to her. Why wouldn't I want to spend a lot of time with someone I like?"

uselessthrowawaydude

"Yeah it's weird that society expects people to act like they don't care that much when dating."

vercetti87

Know Where They're At

"Discussing life goals and future desires such as kids, marriage, work or education within the first few dates. Some people think it's to heavy for getting to know someone, but to me nothing is more freeing than knowing the expectations and goals the other person has set so we can both make an informed decision."

4Gotten1

"Yeah I've had friends who got engaged really quickly and I've asked them about things like if they're gonna have kids, where do they want to live other things like that and they admit that they haven't talked about it at all. Like you need to know about those things before you marry someone."

Mangobunny98

Don't Talk Over Them, Though

"Depending on the situation, oversharing. Some times you just gotta put it all out there right away and if they don't like it, you're not wasting your time."

Cyndas-quil

"First four words are super important in this one."

"Two cases in point from dates I went on. First was she never actually asked me anything about me. "Overshared" was more like "only shared", the whole time. So what I took away was "It's all about them"."

"Second was too pushy about themselves, oversharing their opinions rather than their life conditions. Takeaway there was 'If they are already making me uncomfortable, they are going to make others uncomfortable too'."

"And I had enough time with my own self-confidence back in those dating days, didn't need help making it harder."

"Pretty sure I dodged a bullet in both cases."

the_original_Retro

These rules have spread far and wide, infiltrating the minds of people who just want to make a simple connection.

"Don't do this," or, "Don't do that," permeates through every moment.

When all you have to do is be in that very same moment.

Don't Hide From Your Issues

"Being honest about issues like mental health problems - most people see that as get the hell away from me, but I think it's a sign of honesty, and the fact that they were willing to tell you means they're probably pretty trusting and kind + you know what to expect in a relationship (granted this isn't always true, and sometimes it's done in an attempt to garner sympathy)"

MedohVah

Let The Silence Hold

"Running out of things to say. It's a good sign that the person you are with is comfortable not jabbering"

SlapDickery

"If you can feel comfortable with them in silence, that's a green flag. You don't necessarily want the silence to be due to lack of mutual interest, but it is important that not every moment needs to be filled with speaking."

omgtater

Find That Person With That Passion

"Hardcore hobbies. Nerds make great lovers."

RedneckNomad

"I've met my favorite lovers through medieval reenactment."

Kataphractoi

Don't let a preconceived "red flag" stop you from making a connection with someone.

Awkward First Date? Wait It Out And See

"Being bad at dating in general. Dating and relationships have completely different skill sets."

"One requires timing and guarding your information and trying to show your best self and not being too weird and handling these various interested people while the other requires opening up and sharing your true self with just one person. Totally different skill sets."

"People who are terrible at dating might be just great at being in a relationship, ya know?"

TommyTuttle

Able To Stay Offline

"Being off of social media apps or limiting phone use. Most women I was interested in would ask me for my instagram or facebook and when I replied I had neither they looked at me like I was some kind of weirdo, one girl even asked if I was a serial killer"

Lobsterboypeterson

Want To Be In A Relationship? Be In A Relationship.

"Being straightforward and open about how you feel about the other person."

"Friend of mine recently went on long, involved dates with a guy for over a month (like kayaking and music festivals), he sometimes seemed distant and vague, she finally just texted him 'I like you and I'd like to keep seeing you and see where this goes and if it developed into a relationship. I'm not getting a clear read off of you. How are you feeling?'"

"He told her she's great and he has fun but he's realizing he doesn't really want to be in a relationship right now and committed to another person, he likes that he can prioritize possible plans with friends first and then if they fall through he can maybe go on a date."

"It sucked, but was honest and she stopped wasting time and growing feelings with somebody that didn't want the same thing. But her family gave her so much sh-t and said she 'scared him away' and 'of course he's going to say that!'"

"He's a grown man in his mid-30s, not a baby deer. If he can't handle a friendly check-in on how he feels about a growing relationship then he is correct, he is NOT ready for one!"

shellybearcat

Know what you want when you go out on a date. Don't be afraid to shy away from who you really are, because if you don't, and the other person reciprocates?

Then that's a meetup worthy of a follow-up.

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