The original premise of the movie barely qualifies as a plot: there once was a bear that ate 70lbs of cocaine fallen from a failed drug drop plane, had the best-slash-most-violent 15 minutes of his life, and then died. Not immediately a story to entirely base a move upon, but that is what has happened.
Cocaine Bear comes out in February, and stars Keri Russell, Matthew Rhys, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Alden Ehrenreich, Jesse Tyler Ferguson and the late Ray Liotta
The trailer for the movie Cocaine Bear dropped recently, and it’s positively wild.
The synopsis really doesn’t prepare you for the trailer, but let’s start there.
“Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner’s plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild dark comedy finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500- pound apex predator has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a coke-fueled rampage for more blow… and blood.”
Now, roll tape.
Cocaine Bear youtu.be
Cocaine Bear—the actual bear, not the movie of the same name—has become a bit of a cult sensation recently, despite the incident in question happening in 1985. He’s beloved; he’s feared; his taxidermy-ed corpse can be visited in Lexington, Kentucky.
With a premise this wacky and a trailer that leans into the chaos, the reactions have come in as fast as a charging bear.
People noticed Universal is making what the people want.
\u201cDisney: "Let's send these hit movies to streaming but release the one that looks like Disney Channel circa 2004."\nNetflix: "Let's pull this hit movie from theaters after 1 week and leave like 100 mil on the table."\nUniversal: "COCAINE BEAR! COMING THIS FEB ONLY IN THEATERS!"\u201d— David Kittredge (@David Kittredge) 1669859152
\u201cMe when the Cocaine Bear takes the cocaine in Cocaine Bear\u201d— JackWatchMovies (@JackWatchMovies) 1669657890
One can consider the cinematic quality.
\u201cCocaine Bear will be the Citizen Kane of movies about a bear doing cocaine\u201d— JP (@JP) 1669679657
The obvious pun was made by many people.
\u201c@cocainebear Pablo Escobear. I\u2019ll see myself out.\u201d— Cocaine Bear (@Cocaine Bear) 1669831163
It looks like the bear mostly attacks people in the movie, but what if he did something else people do on cocaine?
\u201c@cocainebear At what point does the bear stop being hungry and start to explain the blockchain for an hour and a half?\u201d— Cocaine Bear (@Cocaine Bear) 1669831163
Better make sure you know what movie you’re going to see.
\u201c@cocainebear This trailer for Paddington 3 doesn't look like what I was expecting and I'm down with it.\u201d— Cocaine Bear (@Cocaine Bear) 1669831163
There were other animal ideas.
\u201ci hope after Cocaine Bear someone makes my idea for a blockbuster movie set in NYC, Rats On Bath Salts\u201d— \ud835\ude8d\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude8d\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude92 \ud835\ude9c\ud835\ude9d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\udea0\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude9d (@\ud835\ude8d\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude8d\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude92 \ud835\ude9c\ud835\ude9d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\udea0\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude9d) 1669837711
\u201cYou've heard of COCAINE BEAR, now get ready for KETAMINE OTTER\u201d— Philip Ellis (@Philip Ellis) 1669899886
\u201cThe inevitable sequel to COCAINE BEAR is METH GATOR\u201d— Jeff Ewing (@Jeff Ewing) 1669839236
\u201c@ReelJeffEwing CRACK MOOSE\u201d— Jeff Ewing (@Jeff Ewing) 1669839236
Someone had an important realization about possible tie-ins to the movie about a bear that eats cocaine.
\u201cWait. "Cocaine Bear" is a Universal Movie.\n\n...\n\nThat means Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights could ABSOLUTELY do a Cocaine Bear House.\u201d— Randy Milholland (@Randy Milholland) 1669861569
Let’s end on a poetic note, shall we?
\u201cI have eaten\nthe cocaine\nthat you dropped in\nthe woods\n\nand which\nyou were probably\nsaving\nfor another bear or dealer\n\nForgive me\nit was delicious\nso powdery\nand so pure\u201d— C H E L B! \ud83c\udf2d (@C H E L B! \ud83c\udf2d) 1669915045
Cocaine Bear will be in theaters starting February 23, 2023.
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