an Oh Myyy Property

Jennifer Hernandez, 58, may be a completely normal woman who's simply the victim of a vast misunderstanding. T

hat does seem unlikely, however, after she tried four times to gain entrance to CIA Headquarters in Langley, Virginia, trying to find a certain "Agent Penis."

Ms. Hernandez first tried to gain entrance on April 22, but was stopped while walking through the building's vehicle entrance.

She claimed she had an appointment with her recruiting officer in the building.

When no record of the appointment could be found, officers warned Hernandez she would be arrested for trespassing if she didn't leave. She walked away without incident.

On May 1, however, she returned in a Lyft.

This time, Hernandez was given a written warning and sent on her way.

A day later, on May 2, Hernandez decided an Uber might work a little better. It did not. She apparently told officers that her phone was off and that she was here to "speak to her recruiter."

This time, Hernandez was questioned by the police before being released.

But that didn't stop her from coming back on May 3! To be fair, she reportedly came to pick up her North Carolina ID card, which she'd left behind.

While she was in the building, however, Hernandez decided to up the ante one step further, asking to speak with "Agent Penis."

Ah, the elusive Agent Penis! Unable to connect her with any such individual, officers escorted Hernandez to a bus stop and waited for the bus to arrive.

When it finally did, however, she refused to board, saying:

"I am not leaving."

Hernandez got her wish! She was arrested and charged with misdemeanor trespassing.

Authorities would later transfer her to the Alexandria city jail.

Twitter couldn't help but laugh at the whole story.

The true mystery, of course, is what happened to Agent Penis? Why wasn't he at CIA Headquarters?

Agent Penis, you truly are a wily one. Hopefully he'll be able to save Hernandez before it's too late!

Don't tell mom!

Family secrets are a norm. Who doesn't have them? What's fun is figuring out who is keeping what from who? Normally it's dad trying and failing to keep things form mom. Let's face it, nine times out of ten, dad is the court jester trying pushing the line when mom is not looking. So dad is usually begging the little ones to keep a kabash on the events that transpire in mom's absence.

Keep reading... Show less

Some injuries occur in ways that you wouldn't think would cause an injury, but it sure did. These people reveal the dumbest ways they have been injured.

Keep reading... Show less

It's hard not loving human interaction. You will go to lengths to avoid people. And sometimes, those lengths will be story-worthy...

Keep reading... Show less


A woman contracted to work as a security member for the Greater Rochester International Airport was fired for handing out an insulting note.

Neal Strassner was among the assembly line of passengers walking through the metal detector on a relatively slow morning.

Keep reading... Show less

Parenting is tough enough, but there is a definite gender gap, having kids of the opposite sex. Boys are gross, girls and loud, and everyone can agree that teenagers are usually awful.

Keep reading... Show less

Getting rejected sucks, especially when it's done rudely. These stories are mostly from teenage years, and as you won't be surprised to learn, kids are mean.

Keep reading... Show less