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Dad Misses Out On Getting Some Action After Hilariously Misinterpreting A Text From His Wife

The language of love has evolved over time. Rarely does anyone get invited to see someone's etchings nowadays. Invitations to knock boots are also going the way of the dodo.

So what happens when your partner is down with the latest lingo and you're still stuck in 2012?

Or even further back in time...


Is bang still a thing??

A man shared his own lost in translation moment with the "Today I F'ked Up" (TIFU) subReddit after a missed opportunity with his wife.

Redditor Crudbum posted:

"TIFU by misunderstanding a text from my wife, thinking my kid had thrown up, and missing out on sex."

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"The other night my wife and I were getting ready for bed and being kind of flirty. I had to use the restroom, so stayed downstairs while she went up to bed."

"While I was sitting on the toilet I got a text: 'Bring a bucket and a mop'."


"Crap, one of my kids must have thrown up. I finished my toilet biz and went down to the basement to check the cleaning supplies."

"I found a bucket, but couldn't find a mop. I found one of those squeezy sponge things, but the sponge was missing."

"Figuring the vomit was probably congealing by this point, I just grabbed the bucket and a bunch of paper towels and ran upstairs.
I got to the upstairs bathroom and found no mess."


"I carried the cleaning supplies down to my kids rooms, but found no vomit. I went to our bedroom and found my wife lying on the bed."

"She asked what had taken me so long, and I said I couldn't find a mop, and where was the mess?"

"She started rolling around on the bed laughing. Suddenly I realized 'Bring a bucket and a mop' was a line from 'WAP (Wet A** Pu**y)'."

Uh, yeah, not this kind...


"My wife had been in the mood, and I had spent 15 minutes looking for a mop in the basement."

"She was laughing so much that the mood was basically dead."

Redditors could relate.

"As a dude that has been married for 25 years... this story resonates so much. You just get in a groove - words, phrases, signals are just there and you need to be really tuned in to what's going on or you will miss them."

"This is a perfect example and really funny."

"Bucket and mop is a puking kid, sink leaking, dog took a dump on the carpet - certainly not 'WAP'. That being said, you did the right thing."

"If the script was flipped (you run upstairs with your pants around your ankles) to a puking kid... well, that would have been an unfortunate result."

"You did the right thing. Score one for you." ~ ThatLooksLikeItHurts

"I'm not married, but I feel like laughing would make me more in the mood. Especially something wholesome like this."

"It's not like it was a gross joke or a mean prank. It was a joke about sex." ~ ModerateReasonablist

"I am married and I'd laugh my a** off and it would lead to sex. But sometimes it's hard to really get in the mood when you're laughing and to actually get down to business." ~ tibtibs

"You're onto something here. What are the words to WAP for married couples?"

"Lay down a towel for this WAP..."

"Put the kids to bed early to get some WAP..."

"Disney plus and thrust for some WAP..." ~ saint_atheist

Hopefully next time his Missus is in the mood, he'll know "WAP" doesn't mean this: