Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Pregnant Woman Left Guilt-Ridden After Her Overactive Brain Causes Her To Puke While Going Down On Her Husband

Pregnant Woman Left Guilt-Ridden After Her Overactive Brain Causes Her To Puke While Going Down On Her Husband
Vesna Andjic/Getty Images

Ah, the magic of human reproduction and the wonders of pregnancy.

To carry actual life inside you, a beautiful and intimate feedback loop.


A truly life-changing experience, one imagines. Except for when it's terrifying, of course.

Like for example when you realize that even the, um, very adult parts of your life are also part of your baby's life. And you realize it while you're in the middle of one of those adult moments.

A woman on Reddit recently had just that realization, and is was so harrowing--and hilarious--it quite literally made her sick!

The story, titled TIFU By Giving My Husband a BJ, comes to us via a woman calling herself CaffeineFueledLife, who posted her unfortunate tale to the TIFU (Today I Fuc*ed Up) subReddit. And suffice to say it's enough to make us all anxious about the prospect of having sex during pregnancy.

Her explicit story starts out reasonably enough. *NSFW*

"I'm 7 months pregnant. I'm at the point where I'm large and uncomfortable and regular sex is getting awkward. I'm also dealing with a lot of pain in my back, hips, and legs."
"So, we decided to just play around. Kinda felt like my teenage years when i didn't want to give it up, yet. He got me off a few times with mouth and fingers. It was amazing."

frances mcdormand smiling GIF by MauditGiphy

Well that's nice for them.

Glad they found a work-around.

But then things took a turn...

"I went down to return the favor. I was getting into it and doing my best work."

get it girl GIFGiphy

But then things go... very wrong...

"Just as he was coming in my mouth, I suddenly thought, 'everything I swallow goes to my baby.'"

shocked parks and recreation GIFGiphy

Oh... oh no...

"It grossed me out. I started gagging and had to run to the bathroom and threw up all my dinner. I couldn't stop the reaction.

shocked maya rudolph GIFGiphy

This is a disaster...

"He comes in and holds my hair and cleans up the splatter on the toilet while I'm brushing my teeth and using mouthwash."

disgusting difficult people GIF by HULUGiphy

Wow.

Just... wow.

"So, now I'm worried that I've hurt my husband or made him feel like he's unattractive or something. He's not acting weird about it but I'm afraid he's bothered and hiding it, even though he's assuring me that he's not."
"I feel like a shitty wife. Damn hormones and overthinking brain."

Well now hold on a minute.

Stop Right There Marianne Williamson GIFGiphy

No need to beat yourself up, CaffeineFueledLife.

At least she maintained her sense of humor:

"TLDR [Too Long Didn't Read] hormones and overthinking caused me to throw up after giving my husband a blow job because I didn't want my baby eating her siblings."

netflix lol GIF by Chelsea HandlerGiphy

And thankfully, OP's [Original Poster] husband took it all in stride.

"...I did explain right away. He just said, 'Well, I guess we're not doing that for a while.'"

basketball wives agree GIF by VH1Giphy

And for what it's worth, OP realized she's being a touch ridiculous... but nonetheless, relatable.

"Also, I've taken biology classes. I know it's an irrational thought. Pregnancy is full of those. As for brushing my teeth, we were headed right to bed and I didn't want to sleep with puke breath so I weighed the pros and cons and figured it couldn't hurt too much to brush right after once."

Anyway, as you might guess, OP's fellow Redditors were very entertained and many could relate.

"One time I jokingly told my wife 'What if the baby grabs my dick?' She cracked up." --b1ack1323
"My wife 'puked on my dick' while she was at about the same stage of pregnancy. She was so apologetic and embarrassed about it. I was worried about her but not grossed out in any way. When I (frequently) bring it up now I joke that it was the size that gagged her. (We all know that isn't the case)." --jrwhill
"Seriously. This guy knows he's got it good if his wife intiates blowjobs AND swallows. I doubt his self image would be too hampered by this". --Frumundahs4men
"I didn't want my baby eating her siblings"
Best TLDR ever." --livinlavidalola29
"It's a gross thought, for sure, but how else are you supposed to get a Compound MegaBaby?" --BrentWorthington
"'Do you want to feed the baby' takes on a whole new meaning" --kenyard
"Hopefully he'll laugh because it seems quite funny to me as I'd probably do the same and laugh about it.'I didn't want my baby eating her siblings' it's the funniest but accurate thing I've heard." --demasiado-internet
"Damn. I want the kind of guy who will hold my hair after I've vomited because he came in my mouth." --NaBacLeis
"Pregos vomit if you look at them wrong. This is an easily excusable reaction to splooge in the back of your throat." --b1ack1323
'Everything I swallow goes to my baby' The best line ever lol its still making me laugh" --omg00258

In the end, the OP's husband seemed to be totally okay, with the exception of one small detail...

"Also, he found this. And he said, 'You sold our sex life for a reddit silver.' Lmao, guess I did."

Worth it.

The bookThe Mother's Guide to Sex: Enjoying Your Sexuality Through All Stages of Motherhood is available here.

More from Trending

Screenshots from @iamnessers' TikTok videos
@iamnessers/TikTok

Cheating Husband Accidentally Butt-Dials His Wife While He's With His Married Mistress

It's terrible enough finding out that your partner is cheating on you. It's even worse when they do something to rub that fact in your face, even if it happens because of their own stupidity.

TikToker Vanessa Sullivan knew that her husband had been cheating on her, and they'd since separated. Her husband told her that he was no longer seeing his affair partner and that she was out of his life, and they agreed to attempt to reconcile.

Keep ReadingShow less
Nancy Mace
Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

Former Mace Staffers Claim She Had Them Create Fake Social Media Accounts To Praise Her

According to several former staffers for South Carolina Republican Representative for Nancy Mace, Mace had them create fake social media accounts—a "bot army," if you will—to monitor chatter about her online and to "bolster her image."

The aides say that Mace, who plays a key role in shaping GOP policy on technology and workforce issues as chair of the House Subcommittee on Cybersecurity, Information Technology, and Government Innovation, demonstrates a disconnect between the high expectations for her leadership in these complex policy areas and her demonstrated expertise in the technical details.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Alan M. Garber; Donald Trump
Associated Press/YouTube; Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Harvard President Gets Standing Ovation After Subtle Jab At Trump During Graduation Speech

Harvard University President Alan M. Garber received a standing ovation after he subtly jabbed the Trump administration over its attack on foreign students during his commencement speech on Thursday.

Garber spoke after the Trump administration announced last week that it would suspend Harvard's ability to enroll international students, striking at a key revenue stream. The move marked a significant escalation in the administration’s broader campaign to pressure elite universities to align themselves with President Donald Trump’s political agenda.

Keep ReadingShow less
The Worst Things People Ever Witnessed During Jury Duty
A black and white historical photo of a hurry deliberating.

The Worst Things People Ever Witnessed During Jury Duty

It's one of my dreams to serve on a jury.

Seriously, TV and movies make it look so fun.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @pop.tart22's TikTok video
@pop.tart22/TikTok

TikToker Shares Bizarre Hack For Opening A Bottle Of Wine With A Hair Straightener

Sometimes, you have to wonder how people come up with some of the life hacks, kitchen hacks, and cleaning hacks that they share—but other times, you just have to shake your head in amazement.

That's undoubtedly how some TikTokers were left feeling after TikToker @pop.tart22 revealed a new way to open a bottle of wine without ever using a corkscrew: by using her flat iron hair straightener instead.

Keep ReadingShow less