Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Pregnant Woman Left Guilt-Ridden After Her Overactive Brain Causes Her To Puke While Going Down On Her Husband

Pregnant Woman Left Guilt-Ridden After Her Overactive Brain Causes Her To Puke While Going Down On Her Husband
Vesna Andjic/Getty Images

Ah, the magic of human reproduction and the wonders of pregnancy.

To carry actual life inside you, a beautiful and intimate feedback loop.


A truly life-changing experience, one imagines. Except for when it's terrifying, of course.

Like for example when you realize that even the, um, very adult parts of your life are also part of your baby's life. And you realize it while you're in the middle of one of those adult moments.

A woman on Reddit recently had just that realization, and is was so harrowing--and hilarious--it quite literally made her sick!

The story, titled TIFU By Giving My Husband a BJ, comes to us via a woman calling herself CaffeineFueledLife, who posted her unfortunate tale to the TIFU (Today I Fuc*ed Up) subReddit. And suffice to say it's enough to make us all anxious about the prospect of having sex during pregnancy.

Her explicit story starts out reasonably enough. *NSFW*

"I'm 7 months pregnant. I'm at the point where I'm large and uncomfortable and regular sex is getting awkward. I'm also dealing with a lot of pain in my back, hips, and legs."
"So, we decided to just play around. Kinda felt like my teenage years when i didn't want to give it up, yet. He got me off a few times with mouth and fingers. It was amazing."

frances mcdormand smiling GIF by MauditGiphy

Well that's nice for them.

Glad they found a work-around.

But then things took a turn...

"I went down to return the favor. I was getting into it and doing my best work."

get it girl GIFGiphy

But then things go... very wrong...

"Just as he was coming in my mouth, I suddenly thought, 'everything I swallow goes to my baby.'"

shocked parks and recreation GIFGiphy

Oh... oh no...

"It grossed me out. I started gagging and had to run to the bathroom and threw up all my dinner. I couldn't stop the reaction.

shocked maya rudolph GIFGiphy

This is a disaster...

"He comes in and holds my hair and cleans up the splatter on the toilet while I'm brushing my teeth and using mouthwash."

disgusting difficult people GIF by HULUGiphy

Wow.

Just... wow.

"So, now I'm worried that I've hurt my husband or made him feel like he's unattractive or something. He's not acting weird about it but I'm afraid he's bothered and hiding it, even though he's assuring me that he's not."
"I feel like a shitty wife. Damn hormones and overthinking brain."

Well now hold on a minute.

Stop Right There Marianne Williamson GIFGiphy

No need to beat yourself up, CaffeineFueledLife.

At least she maintained her sense of humor:

"TLDR [Too Long Didn't Read] hormones and overthinking caused me to throw up after giving my husband a blow job because I didn't want my baby eating her siblings."

netflix lol GIF by Chelsea HandlerGiphy

And thankfully, OP's [Original Poster] husband took it all in stride.

"...I did explain right away. He just said, 'Well, I guess we're not doing that for a while.'"

basketball wives agree GIF by VH1Giphy

And for what it's worth, OP realized she's being a touch ridiculous... but nonetheless, relatable.

"Also, I've taken biology classes. I know it's an irrational thought. Pregnancy is full of those. As for brushing my teeth, we were headed right to bed and I didn't want to sleep with puke breath so I weighed the pros and cons and figured it couldn't hurt too much to brush right after once."

Anyway, as you might guess, OP's fellow Redditors were very entertained and many could relate.

"One time I jokingly told my wife 'What if the baby grabs my dick?' She cracked up." --b1ack1323
"My wife 'puked on my dick' while she was at about the same stage of pregnancy. She was so apologetic and embarrassed about it. I was worried about her but not grossed out in any way. When I (frequently) bring it up now I joke that it was the size that gagged her. (We all know that isn't the case)." --jrwhill
"Seriously. This guy knows he's got it good if his wife intiates blowjobs AND swallows. I doubt his self image would be too hampered by this". --Frumundahs4men
"I didn't want my baby eating her siblings"
Best TLDR ever." --livinlavidalola29
"It's a gross thought, for sure, but how else are you supposed to get a Compound MegaBaby?" --BrentWorthington
"'Do you want to feed the baby' takes on a whole new meaning" --kenyard
"Hopefully he'll laugh because it seems quite funny to me as I'd probably do the same and laugh about it.'I didn't want my baby eating her siblings' it's the funniest but accurate thing I've heard." --demasiado-internet
"Damn. I want the kind of guy who will hold my hair after I've vomited because he came in my mouth." --NaBacLeis
"Pregos vomit if you look at them wrong. This is an easily excusable reaction to splooge in the back of your throat." --b1ack1323
'Everything I swallow goes to my baby' The best line ever lol its still making me laugh" --omg00258

In the end, the OP's husband seemed to be totally okay, with the exception of one small detail...

"Also, he found this. And he said, 'You sold our sex life for a reddit silver.' Lmao, guess I did."

Worth it.

The book The Mother's Guide to Sex: Enjoying Your Sexuality Through All Stages of Motherhood is available here.

More from Trending

Donald Trump
Mehmet Eser/Middle East Images/AFP via Getty Images

Trump Demands 'Boss Of AT&T' Fix Equipment After Failed Conference Call In Bizarre Meltdown

When most of us have technical difficulties, we contact tech support or customer service.

But if you're President of the United States, just ranting on social media—then having your White House Press Secretary post a screenshot of your post on a social media platform people actually use—is apparently the answer.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Lauren Boebert speaking to Alex Stein
Prime Time with Alex Stein/Blaze Media

Lauren Boebert Casts Doubt On Moon Landing During Wild Interview With Conspiracy Theorist

Colorado Republican Representative Lauren Boebert was criticized after she seemingly agreed with the conspiracy theory that the moon landing was faked in a wide-ranging interview with conservative conspiracy theorist Alex Stein.

The segment began with the duo casting doubt on nuclear weapons—Boebert even joked about needing "tin foil"—and moved into weirder territory when Stein praised Boebert for "vibing" with him on the topic of the moon landing. Conspiracy theorists have long alleged the moon landing was fabricated by NASA in what they claim was an elaborate hoax.

Keep ReadingShow less
Rosie O'Donnell; Oprah Winfrey
Simon Ackerman/Getty Images; Ernesto Ruscio/GC Images

Rosie O'Donnell Calls Out Oprah For Attending Jeff Bezos' Wedding In Scathing Poem

Among the various celebrity hangers-on who attended Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's Venice wedding, the one that seemed to generate the most controversy was Oprah Winfrey.

After all, a woman known for her progressive politics whose entire ethos is about teaching people how to be their best selves, attending the wedding of man who directly funded a fascist regime dismantling our country before our eyes doesn't exactly add up.

Keep ReadingShow less
Lisa Murkowski
Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images

Lisa Murkowski Slammed After Criticizing Massive Budget Bill She Just Voted For

Alaska Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski was slammed after she claimed that President Donald Trump's One Big Beautiful Bill is "not there yet" despite casting the deciding vote to narrowly pass it before sending it back to the House.

In a marathon voting session, the Senate narrowly passed the legislation in a 51-50 vote, with Vice President JD Vance casting the tie-breaking vote after three Republicans joined all Democrats in opposition.

Keep ReadingShow less
Woman listening to her boyfriend play guitar
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Things People Initially Found Attractive About Their Partner That Now Annoy Them

Being in a relationship can be wonderful, but it's not without its ups and downs.

In order for it to work, we have to allow it to grow and change over time rather than being locked forever into what it was when we first started dating our person.

Keep ReadingShow less