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Sometimes that's just how it rolls, you know?
(Warning: there's going to be A LOT of terrible jokes in this story.)
Seattle is dodging balls to the face (lol) like Amber in Clueless after a semi-truck lost its cargo, sending hundreds of industrial-size metal balls (lolol) cascading down a street, smacking into six cars in the process.
Jokes aside, the videos look kind of scary! I mean, what are you supposed to do when there are just industrial-weight balls flying at you from every direction and you're not even in a gay bar when you're just driving down the street?!
Truck is gone — SW Genesee Street still closed as city finishes cleaning up. LIVE 11p on @KIRO7Seattle w/ new vid… https://t.co/wVyOnsP6EC— Michael Spears (@Michael Spears) 1539840969.0
Harrowing, truly.
However, there is an upside to all of this, and it's this copy from KIRO 7 News in Seattle:
JUST IN: a truck carrying 2-lb metal balls loses its load, sending the balls downhill, hitting cars along the way.… https://t.co/HWxV9gdMTl— KIRO 7 (@KIRO 7) 1539823490.0
"Loses its load" is a VERY interesting choice of words (even I had the wherewithal to use "cargo" for god's sake), and if you need me I will be giggling at my own ball jokes like a 12-year-old for the rest of the day.
Anyway, back to the news. Here's what happened, according to KIRO 7 News: the truck driver missed a turn, so his GPS re-routed him, which in my experience is nearly always a disaster.
True to form, the GPS led him to a steep hill that caused the giant sacks of balls (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL) to shift and break through the door, spilling down the street.
WATCH: Hundreds of steel balls broke out of a semi-truck driving up SW Genesee St in West Seattle. No reported inju… https://t.co/LwM64EVFl5— Patrick Quinn (@Patrick Quinn) 1539827285.0
As the driver told KOMO News' Patrick Quinn, "I'm looking back and then I see all these balls and I said "Holy S***!" and this joke is just too easy so I'll just leave it here.
Also, this car sort of backing up, but not really knowing what to do, and then then stopping and resigning to forces beyond its control is just extremely relatable energy in 2018.
NEW VIDEO: This is why @SeattlePD has shut down 30th Ave SW and SW Genessee. Truck carrying metal balls loses its l… https://t.co/9NqmJ0u7fX— Morgan Chesky (@Morgan Chesky) 1539821241.0
Anyway, let's get to the real point here, which is obviously all the ball jokes peole made on Twitter!
the perfect headline doesn't exi— https://t.co/spmx3UrMyC— Cool Hand Truke (@Cool Hand Truke) 1539895078.0
@KIRO7Seattle a truck with balls lost its load ..... premature? https://t.co/l8IUaJhy0U— Go Bucs Go (@Go Bucs Go) 1539910406.0
Last time i lost my load i had a son... twitter.com
@KIRO7Seattle https://t.co/UMFdqFVJsh— Lee Lensegrav (@Lee Lensegrav) 1539824761.0
You gotta have balls made of steel to be driving through that twitter.com
pic.twitter.com/e9wro0se4M twitter.com
And there were some other good--non-ball-related--jokes too:
@KIRO7Seattle https://t.co/y70WPVK2gX— brittany m (@brittany m) 1539914643.0
@KIRO7Seattle Why is this somehow a big mood— keana 🦋 (@keana 🦋) 1539909557.0
@PatrickQuinnTV @burritojustice I, for one, welcome our new steel ball overlords.— Zzzz (@Zzzz) 1539916132.0
@PatrickQuinnTV So it was cloudy with a chance of metal balls? 😂 https://t.co/NazCWeaf9l— melibubbles (@melibubbles) 1539931486.0
Thankfully, nobody was injured. But the poor driver was given a ticket, and fined $136 dollars. And his load cargo had to be carted away to some kind of city lot instead of its destination, so if you thought your day at work was going poorly, don't get your balls all in a knot buck up!