A bride and groom sent a wedding invite riddled with profanity, calling their guests "lazy" and "fat," among other things.
The Redditor ScaredNapkin shared a photo with the caption:
"My cousin sent this along with her wedding invitations…"
"I will not be in attendance."
The invite with NSFW language marked as "tacky" garnered a lot of traction on Reddit with more than 16 thousand up votes and nearly two thousand comments.
You can see it—censored for profanity—here:
The original was NOT censored.
The "Sh*t You Need to Know" card that came along with the regular invite said:
"Eat what you're given, you fat f*ck."
"Leave your litte sh*t at home. We want to get f*cked up. (We will turn you away)."
"Follow the f*cking directions we gave you, dumba**."
Interestingly, the tone shifted when they mentioned "Wedding Gifts" for the couple.
"If you wanted to give us a wedding gift, a contribution to our honeymoon would be perfect."
That's the only section without profanity or an insult to the guests.
The cousin of the bride posted the NSFW wedding invite insert in the Wedding Shaming subReddit.
Reddit user Ekaterina702 said:
"That's one aggressive invitation."
"One can't help but notice the abrupt change of tone in the 'wedding gifts' section."
Redditor Berger_Blanc_Suisse gave a hilarious suggestion:
"Yeah it's really disappointing because they could have kept up the stupidly aggressive façade - 'Give us cash. We don't need your uncoordinated a**es who can't figure out how to click a 'We ordered this' button getting us 20 sets of cutlery'."
This sparked a conversation about gifts on a registry being "trashy" versus asking directly for money.
One Redditor pointed out they have seen wedding guests "sponsor" part of the honeymoon trip. Someone else said they also made sure to send a picture of what part of the trip those guests "sponsored" as a "thank you" for their contribution.
Hita-san-chan said they need to work on their delivery:
"I get it's supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek kinda joke.. but my god tone is important!"
"'Check your child at the door' or 'you know we get good food, don't worry about it' would be kinda funny."
"This is just mean spirited."
Many people agree they were trying way too hard.
Redditor buttertits4lyfe said:
"So much cringe. Trying far too hard to be cool."
"This fake edgy crap isn't even funny it makes you look like a fifth grader who is trying too hard to look cool in front of a bunch of older kids."
This gave godisawayonbusiness flashbacks:
"This is what the edgy kids on myspace dreamed their kool kidz wedding stuff was."
"Is the bride gonna wear converse and a sick black dress too??"
"Haha sorry just gave me flashback 2007 edgy kids vibe."
"Subtlety is becoming a lost art."
jmerridew124 said as if it was a dialogue between the couple:
"'Is it weird to use 'butt f*cking naked?' It doesn't roll off the tongue.'"
"'What, and have a section without 'f*ck' in it? Nonsense! Send it!'"
Redditor Unglory joked:
"Should have just printed it on a red flag and mailed that out lol... yikes."
Redditor ButterscotchOk8112 said:
"I don't get why people think swearing is so funny."
"I mean I have nothing against it. It's just not particularly clever or funny."
Redditor mmmmmmmmmmmmmmfarts replied:
"A few curses would be funny, but this…this is too much."
Hilariously, Redditor IdlesAtCranky gave the cousin something to reply with as they decline the invitation:
"I disrespectfully decline to attend your trashy sh*t show. I don't f*cking feel like leaving the house to watch you get f*cked up and sh*t to celebrate your Eternal Bondage."
"So instead I will be parking my fat a** on my comfy couch with some frozen pizza, and binge watching Drunk Duck Hunters From Florida Say Some Sh*t They Think Is Funny. I figure it will be about the equivalent experience."
"Love, Your Cousin, the Fat F*ck."
Truly, an epic and appropriate response.
We hope the original poster uses it...
...then posts an update.