We like to think professionals know what they're doing but it's often not the case, like when a roofer doesn't bring a ladder or when a therapist insists they are your only friend. Here are some stories that will boost your self-esteem.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Told my old therapist I didn't want to see her any more and she told me that without her I wouldn't even have any friends.
Maybe he can fly.
When the roofer didn't bring a ladder.
Well of COURSE he lied.
I ordered new windows to be installed in my attic and the salesman who came to my house said that it'll be "6 weeks tops to get them in". 3 months later they were delivered. When I spoke to the representative on the phone that I was unhappy about how much longer it actually took and their salesman said 6 weeks she said, "Well OF COURSE he said that, he's a salesman haha.".
Might wanna find a new accountant.
My bankruptcy attorney was convinced that taxes paid had to be counted as income... NOT gross pay mind you.
Gross pay is $1000, $300 is taken out for taxes meaning you had a $700 check. He insisted this meant there was $1300 in income.
His reasoning was that there was an area later on the form to deduct taxes, and if we used the pre-tax number of $1000, then after the deducted taxes it would only show a $700 income, which is clearly not the case since I made $1000.
You've ruined me!Giphy
"Oh, was I not meant to do that? I didn't look at what you booked in for, I just assumed this was what you wanted."
~A woman who is no longer my hairdresser.
On second thought... can I get a new doctor?
Marked the wrong wrist before surgery!
Wait, for real?
The current job position I hold is by no means an entry level. When I was hired, I had to go through a rigorous 6 week training program. The first two weeks though, our instructor is part of this program when someone with much lower credentials is allowed to teach initial training to the much more experienced class in order to eventually be given a job at the position we're all in training for (makes sense right?). Anyways anytime we had questions about anything, this instructor would say the words "You are all getting too far ahead, we're going to talk about this next week". It took about 2 days for us to figure out that our instructor did not know the material and had no business attempting to teach us.
NO, THE OTHER ARM.
I broke my arm and went to an orthopedic office. I didn't like them from the first appointment because I had an appointment and they made me wait for about 2 hours. Then they had their secretary take my past medical history (which is extremely complex) in the waiting room.
On a follow up appointment the tech removed my cast. PA came in to assess my arm and went to my non-broken arm. Assessed strength and range of motion and swelling and told me it seemed to be healing nicely. I told her that's great, since that one was never broken. Once she finished repeating the process on the arm that actually was broken she sent the tech in to recast my arm. I had to stop the tech from casting my non-broken arm. On my appointment paperwork she wrote that she recommended I take Ibuprofen for pain relief. That was exactly 2 sentences after where it stated NSAIDs (like ibuprofen) cause like threatening airway swelling in me. Same office wanted to charge me $50 every visit to sign a form that was literally one check box saying if I was cleared or not for full duty at work. One check box. No research required. I never went back.
Yeah, you want to drive, but frankly, you suck.
I figured out pretty quickly that i didn't like my driving instructor but other peoples horror stories about changing made me stick with him. 6 months of lessons being told off for minor errors and having the test dangled in front of me but juuust out of reach he finally said to me "I just don't think you're going to be able to drive a manual car."
He said this knowing full well that I had already bought a manual car cause I didn't expect to be 'learning' for so long.
He wrecked my confidence in driving and it took me another 6 months to try again, my new instructor then had to correct all the bad habits the first guy had taught me, he had no issue with my use of gears at all and I passed first attempt.
F*ck you, Nick.
This plumber fail.Giphy
A plumber in the middle of a job that had to drive back to the shop to get a part that was pretty basic.
And then charged for the time it took to do that.
And then installed it incorrectly.
And then returned a week later to fix the mistake and asked what idiot installed it that way.
And then installed it wrong an entirely new way.
What? You have abdominal pain? Don't use your abdomen, then.
"You're more likely to be hit by a bus than have that happen again. I'm not going to investigate, or refer you anywhere."
A doctor, regarding my irregular crippling abdomen pains.
Come on, doc, you're not helping your cause.
'Some people like me, some don't.'
This was a boast from a doctor I saw when I injured my shoulder and he said it was all in my head.
What year is it again?
I went to my GP to get a prescription for birth control. I suggested an IUD may be something I want because I'm very forgetful and pills did not work out in the past.
She refused to prescribe an IUD because I was a virgin and she didn't want to "take my virginity away" by inserting an IUD... Currently looking for a new GP.
Teacher is obviously miserable.
When I was a teenager in high school I really wanted to apply for an astronomy camp program that summer, and you needed a letter of recommendation from a math or science teacher. My higher grade was in chemistry so I asked her- she said she would, but be aware that she'd have to say I don't always focus on my work as I should. I said fine-that was true- worked really hard on the rest of the application, and got in! Ran to school in excitement to thank my teacher for her letter, and she couldn't hide her look of utter astonishment and I realized what was up.
A few months later when at that camp I nonchalantly asked the director "she wrote me a bad letter, didn't she?" He immediately pulled me aside to say yes, it was so bad that it was a full page saying terrible things about my character and scholarship, so he knew to discount it but wanted to let me know. Which was in fact good to know, because I had AP Chemistry with her the next year and she kept doing stuff like getting me sent to the principal's office for a B- at the quarter.
That still bothers me a bit to this day. I was your classic bright but bored kid and was obsessed with astronomy, and any educator worth their salt knows a kid who can't get good grades in chemistry class can thrive at a summer program. If she didn't want to write me a letter, one can just say no. But spending all that time writing a bad one? Pretty low thing to do to a teenager.
Edit: as some are asking, I am actually an astronomer today! F*ck that teacher! :) And am still in touch with the camp director today and even work as a counselor some years when my schedule allows it.
Edit 2: As many are saying, if you ever need to ask for a recommendation letter it's best to meet in person, and ask the teacher/prof for a "strong recommendation letter" and see their reaction. I will however point out that I was 15 at the time of this incident and had never asked for a letter before, and do not think teenagers are known for getting that level of subtlety.
Edit 3: The same year I graduated, said teacher moved to New Jersey. I don't know where, and she had a very generic name, so no I can't contact her or her employer. And I've no reason to believe she isn't still teaching students today. :(
Remember when Trump stared at the solar eclipse?Giphy
"You don't need shaded safety glasses" as I was staring in to a 2500 degree furnace.
Edit: I spend all day making jokes on Reddit and this is my highest rated comment.