an Oh Myyy Property

Parents are supposed to have our best interests at heart but that is definitely not always the case. From poison ivy sandwiches and forced play dates, to ignoring allergies and forcing kids to watch loved ones suffer, some parents really get it wrong.

burneraccount1000000 asked: What was the genuinely worst experience that you were ever forced into by parents or friends?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.



WTAF?!

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My mother would read Rodale Press organic living type magazines in the 1960's. And decided that she would try to make her children immune to poison ivy. This involves having us eat poison ivy sandwiches.

"Don't chew it, just swallow."

My 5 year old sister almost died from a swollen throat. Hospital, shots, IV's. The doctor was aghast that anyone could be that insane. Dad was so angry he could not speak.

My older sister and I are still allergic to poison ivy.

cbelt3

I'm glad your sister survived, what a nightmare... Did one of the magazines suggest this idea or was it your own mother's invention?

MayYouFindPeace

Magazine article. This sort of bullsh*t was not invented by the new agey yoga moms of the 21st century.

cbelt3

When kids are forced to be friends with you and vice versa.

My mom was more insecure about me not having friends than I was myself. If I didn't have playdate lined up each weekend, she would force me to call kids in my class who I didn't get along with and 9/10 they'd say they were busy. Some would even confront me at school on Monday and say "Why the hell did you call me?"

dougiebgood

Being forced into social situations never turn out good.

moe711

I was friends with a girl throughout middle and high school whose crazy mother made her "Friend Business Cards" and made her pass them out in 8th grade.

I guess she was struggling to make friends and the business cards had her phone number and a little bio on them. She passed them out because her mom would count them to make sure she gave some away. You could tell she was humiliated to do it.

My stepmother became friends with her mother through church and tried to start the same sh*t. I was new at the school and the first friend I made, my stepmom immediately got on Facebook, found out the girl lived with her grandmother and started asking her unprompted personal questions about my friend, including sh!t like asking why her parents weren't in the picture. I hadn't even added the girl yet and my stepmom Facebook stalked her and harassed her grandmother.

The next day the girl told me I was weird and I got angry at my stepmom who got angry at the grandmother because, "What senior aged adult tells their 8th grade granddaughter about their adult conversations?"

I don't know, probably one that doesn't want her grandchild hanging out with a kid whose parent is a f*cking creep?

bonezillion

Kitties are smart and snakes are awesome.

Giphy

Parents wanted me to get over my fear of snakes so they made me hold a giant python at an interactive aquatic show in Silver Springs, Florida. Nightmares!

As an adult, my cat Pinky would bring me live garden snakes and gently put them in my hand. That worked.

KathleenHBeach

My husband (boyfriend at the time) thought he could get me over my fear of heights by taking me to a heights themed amusement park. I handled the first ride with only moderate shakes/sweats.

But then I got stuck at the top of a child's rock wall shaking and crying. The seventeen year old park attendant had to climb up and yank me off the wall, the whole time apologizing "I'm so sorry ma'am but it's policy I have to pull you down" (MA'AM. This was recent. I was 29. I still am 29).

He finally understood what I meant when I said "I'm afraid of heights."

retroverted_uterus

Watching a loved one not be allowed to die with dignity.

My grandmother died over the course of a single summer of cancer. By the time the end came it was in her lungs, bones and brain. She was completely bald and was legitimately nothing but skin and bones. She weighed 80 lbs. She was also nearly paralyzed by the pain her body was in and couldn't move on her own. Since there was nothing that could be done for her but keep her on pain-killers, a bed was put in my grandparents living room. Since the cancer was in her brain she gradually lost the ability to effectively communicate and would scream and cry like a newborn when she needing something. Sometimes, she would forget who she was and where she was and she would just scream incoherently because she was scared.

My mother and aunts volunteered to try and care for her as best they could. Instead of finding someone else to watch me over the summer, I spent every day, all day in the living room watching my grandmother die and turn into a shell of a human being. She didn't know who we were most of the time and she started calling me 'the one that wouldn't shut up' whenever she was cognitive enough to speak. I was there when she breathed her last breath at 2 am in the morning and when the funeral director rolled up to take her body out of the house. I was 7. I'd even go so far as to say I am traumatized by that entire experience. Every time I mention that to my parents I get shrugged off. It's one of the reasons I personally agree with physician assisted death - I never want my family to witness me go out like that. That was the worst experience my family ever forced me to endure.

OrthodoxLily

Man, I recently went to visit my grandmother who was a couple days away from dying and was in not much of a better state than what you described. I walked into the room and was so shocked that my heart skipped a beat. I've never seen a person in that kind of condition and it was so difficult to look at her. I turned right around and told my teenage daughter to wait in the other room while I said goodbye to grandma. I didn't want her to see. It was extremely difficult for me to see her like that and I didn't want my daughter having that image in her mind. I can't imagine making my seven year old experience that day after day.

foxyrain

Euthanasia is humane. F*ck anybody who disagrees with me on that one.

HollywoodHoedown

Bro, nice.

Giphy

I am terrified of heights. I can't hardly get up on a chair to change a light without shaking. When I was maybe 10 my friend invited me to 6 flags, which if you haven't heard of it is mostly roller coasters.

I declined but my friend was being taken by her dad who insisted she take a friend and wouldn't take no for an answer. Her parents were divorced and her dad was ultra wealthy so he was one of those "I'll buy my kids from that b!tch of an ex wife" kinda parents.

After a few hours of them going on rides together I guess the dad got fed up that I wasn't having a good time (I never said that) because I wouldn't ride the rides so he forces me into line for some unreasonable roller coaster, where your feet dangle and you flip upside down and all that. And I'm trying to tell him no I don't want to but he just ignores me.

After a while I broke down and just started to cry because I was so scared and upset. I kept yelling I don't wanna go, please don't make me go and he was indifferent to my pleas. Luckily some probably seriously underpaid teenage line attendant in an orange vest stood me against the "you must be this tall to ride" board and decided I was too short. I was tall enough, but the guy knew I was freaking out and did me a solid. Threatened to remove all 3 of us from the park if he didn't leave.

Tldr; friends dad tried to force me on a roller coaster and I cried because I was so scared, so the ride attendant refused to let me on.

Tickle_bottom

Roller coaster attendant was a bro.

kychleap

Kids are not free labor.

Mom made me hang out with her friends kid that was autistic to hell and back. She said that she would babysit him while her friend went to work, but my mom would just make me watch him. I had to change and feed him even though he was an extremely picky eater, I was 10 and he was 14. She would yell at me if he made a mess or had a meltdown, like I could control it. She was paid $250 a week and I didn't get sh*t but head aches and bruises.

lilchey99

Don't feel bad if you eventually put her in an elderly care home and then can't visit for whatever reason. Sounds like she's cool with outsourcing the care of loved ones.

dadjoke5000

WTF?

Well, not me, but my sister. Our parents were getting divorced, and we were over at his place for visitation on Sunday. After we went to church, we went and bought what we thought was a chocolate cake. Now, my little sister has a severe, life threatening peanut allergy. After a few bites of the cake, she said that her throat was itching/swelling. My brother and I immediately told her to stop eating it, but my Dad ACTIVELY ENCOURAGED her to continue eating it. After we had finally convinced her to stop, she should have been taken to the ER immediately. Instead, he gives her Benadryl, and makes her wait for a good 10-15 minutes.

All while she is swelling and itching, and its getting harder to breathe. He finally takes her to the hospital after she throws up (which is a sign of internal swelling,? I think) She almost died, and my Mom was so mad when she came to the hospital. All I remember about that car ride to the hospital was thinking that my little sister was going to die, and basically watching her suffocate in front of me. He also did something similar to my brother, but it wasn't life threatening.

Iamtherealvangogh

What is it with parents in this thread forcing their kids to eat things that'll kill them? How could anyone think that this kind of ghetto desensibilization with no medical supervision is a good idea?

Flamin_Jesus

So much for "Dr. Mom."

Giphy

Mother acted out her resentment at Dad's allergies by exposing me to all of his allergens after they split up. When I complained about symptoms similar to what he had been going to an allergist to treat, she bellowed You don't have any allergies! I couldn't really protest more because she had never taken me to a doctor to get tested.

Fast forward: the separation turned into divorce, I moved in with Dad, finally got medical treatment and (no surprise) needed prescription medication and allergy shots. Then in my late teens the allergies turn life threatening. I'm stuck for life on a restricted diet because there's no clinical research for treatment of these specific allergies.

There's no way to prove direct cause and effect, but allergies are known to worsen with repeated uncontrolled exposures so it's definitely possible that Mom's decisions are why things got this bad. Incidentally she used to slip allergens into Dad's stuff without his knowledge behind his back and I'm 99% sure she did the same to me whenever I visited her even after Dad got me proper medical treatment. It's an ugly rabbit hole what motivates her to do that, but the bottom line is she can't be trusted. It's one of the reasons I stopped talking to her. If there's a silver lining, it's the experience taught me to stand up for myself whenever ignorant people try to second guess properly trained doctors.

doublestitch

Damn, what are you allergic to to be on a restricted diet for the rest of your life?

DrunkenSoviet

I have anaphylactic Oral Allergy Syndrome. It's a rare life threatening manifestation of a type of allergy that's mild in most cases. It's as serious as a peanut allergy except in my case it's caused by a wide variety of fresh fruit.

This isn't covered under federal food labeling law and the FDA chooses not to regulate it (they could require specifying my allergens by name in the fine print but they've chosen not to). So any food that reads natural flavors or natural colorson the label could contain my allergens and cause a medical emergency. My allergens aren't covered in food service allergy safety training either. So I have to make nearly everything I eat from scratch and at home.

It's been a real problem when I check into hospitals for unrelated reasons (sports injury etc.) because this diagnosis isn't taught outside of medical schools: the M.D.s recognize the diganosis and write up appropriate orders, which the kitchen staff and the nurses ignore because their training doesn't cover this and they mistake me for a picky eater. It's resulted in close calls after major surgery when they roll in an off-limits meal while I'm recovering from anesthesia and on morphine.

doublestitch

When you're constantly forced to babysit.

Honestly, it was a series of things my parents did. Any time we went to a function or party I was stuck babysitting not only my little sister but all of my parents' friend group's kids. If I took my eye off them to do something boom pressure point and talk about being responsible. This happened for literally every party they dragged me too. I hate going to parties when small children are there because it feels like I have to always keep an eye on them or else.

andsteve1

This is even more awful, when there is gender stereotyping going on. Like you are the oldest girl cousin, and so you have to watch all the younger ones while the male cousins older than you can enjoy the party.

IndependentSource

What a waste of time.

It would have to be the three day 8 hour long church convention while wearing a suit....thankfully my parents soon gave up on trying to make me a Jehovah's Witness.

mrknigh

Yeah... those were very tiring. All the same information every day, every year. I eventually stopped going.

purple_babboonbutts

Oh geez, the three day circuit assemblies. I remember these. So painfully boring... sitting there taking notes and pretending like I wasn't dat dreaming like all the other thousands of people.

FancyAdult

We're all self-conscious about something, and it doesn't help when our faults get thrown in our faces. You don't want doctors hinting that something is "weird down there," nor do you want someone to tell you you're balding. WE KNOW.

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When you know your kids backwards and forwards, this is the best tool in your arsenal.

Getting our kids to listen to us is not always the easiest of tasks. They're willful and stubborn, but we've got a mighty weapon they are rarely prepared for: reverse psychology. Getting them to convince themselves to want to do something against their own initial intentions takes some work and a whole lot of creativity, but a little sneaky manipulation goes a long way. Here are some clever parents' tricks that are definitely worth taking notes on.

Redditor u/LeanderD Asks:

Parents of reddit, what's your best example of reversed psychology on your kids that actually worked?

He Floated His Idea Through A Back Channel

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Wanted to name my boat. Anything I would think of was dismissed as stupid by my 13 year old son. After deciding on a name, I confided to a male friend my son liked. Made my friend suggest the name as though it was his idea. My son thought the name was perfect. Done.

calypsodweller

We Always Want What We Can't Have

One of my best friends through childhood used to be punished with no salad if she misbehaved. She cherishes salad now and would always try to eat as much as possible during school lunch. Coincidentally, her now husband used to be punished with no books, it had the same effect. I think it's hilarious that they'd be hitting the salad bar and library like some black market their narc parents couldn't reach hahaha.

cookiearthquake

A Deceit That's A Cut Above The Rest

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Don't know if this counts, but, at my high school (private, boys only) in the 1960's, they made a big deal about how long your hair was, and would occasionally order a boy to go home and "get a haircut".

I thought it was stupid, until years later, a master confided to me at a reunion that the policy was deliberate. The school figured we'd spend so much energy rebelling about hair length, that we would ignore other aspects of teenage rebellion. (Not?) Surprisingly, they were mostly right.

FrankDrakman

Damn! That's smart. Wow.

fangxx456

Oh they don't like long hair?

I'll show them. I'll grow my hair out as lon- what?! No I don't want to go "party"? I gotta try out this horse shampoo.

DankeyKang11

The Forbidden Book

Hi I was a victim,

There was a forbidden book that I was not allow to read on the shelf. My parents said I could only read it if I behave myself.

It was summer holidays and I was playing games all day (after 6 hrs of summer homework). One day I was home alone and had the opportunity to grabbed it. I read like half of it in one go. It was 5000 years of Chinese history.

Safe to say I was bamboozled.

oddstodd

Flowers Of The Queen

My parents always told me my broccoli were the flowers of the queen and that I really shouldn't eat them, or else the queen would get very upset! I, of course, ate the whole broccoli in a few seconds.

Subwoofy

I'm telling the queen and she's gonna be pissed

draculacletus

Sleeping Beauty

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I taught my kids when they were toddlers that no amount of yelling, shaking or hitting can wake a sleeping adult. The only thing that works is a gentle hug and/or a nice kiss on the cheek.

Edit: Probably needed some more details for the reverse psychology aspect to be clear. It went something like this - Step one, tell the kids I'm going to sleep and nothing they do will wake me (head buried face down is the safest position). Step two, after the initial onslaught dies down pretend to awaken on your own. Tell them you got a bit of nap left in you and nothing can wake you, especially not hugs and kisses.

DrMethusael

Holy sh*t...if my daughter woke me up like this I would buy her a pony.

All-Seeing_Elon

I am saving this comment because this will save lives if I ever have kids, stg.

smerter

A Walk In Someone Else's Shoes.

Split custody with my ex. When my son was around 10, he visited two weekends a month. I was waiting tables and didn't have a huge amount to spend, but he was so needy from divorce (and I'm not blaming him, it was ugly), he begged constantly for MORE when he was with me. Whatever more was, it didn't matter... he'd be eating ice cream cone and begging for teriyaki.

I finally realized that he just felt empty, and getting MORE whatever from me wasn't filling him up. His next visit I handed him $100 in cash and told him it was our food/fun budget for 3 days and two nights, and he was in charge of it. I bought him his own wallet to carry. We figured out how many times we were going to eat and what we were going to do, and he paid. He got to keep whatever money he had left...thought he was rich...then realized just how much everything cost. Well. Shoe on other foot then. If we had no money for food, we ate leftovers - and I didn't contribute more to pot. After a few weekends of running short or not getting something he actually wanted because he was foolish with funds, he started to really think about how to spend that money. He budgeted and kept to his budget. And a few times he actually went home with a little cash for his private stash.

Many years later, he thanked me for this. It really changed the way he thought about money and love.

Augumenti

This Is Worth Giving A Shot

Took my 3 year old son to one of those doctor's visits where he was going to get a shot. He was worried about the shot on the whole drive over, almost to the point of tears. We get to the doctor's office and a nurse subtly lets me know that my son is not just scheduled for 1 shot, but 5 of them in the same visit.

I turn to my son with an exaggerated smile and tell him, "Good news! They figured out how to take that one big shot you were going to get and instead break it up into these 5 little tiny shots so it won't hurt nearly as much!"

You could see the relief wash over his face. He stopped squirming and relaxed completely. He took the first shot and even smiled and said "It's true! The small ones don't hurt!"

We actually made it through the third shot before the effect wore off and reality kicked in. Still... I counted it as a victory.

blackbird77

Put This To The Taste

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My mom would tell me she only lets me eat soup after candy and she'd only buy me candy that i didn't like. After a few times, i stopped trying and begged her to let me eat soup first. She gave me a smirk and told me go ahead. This doesn't sound as evil as it was. But trust me i suffered.

turkeypr0

So what was the candy?

Poster_Main

Mint chocolate, raisins, stuff like that. I still hate them to this day. Who the f--- thought while eating chocolate "hmm id like some tooth paste with this."

turkeypr0

This is Truckin' Awesome

Mum had sworn a bit around the house.

When 4, while out at the supermarket, I said F word really loudly.

Very quickly and intently, she asked if I had just said "Truck" and said that was a bad word and not to ever say Truck like that again.

I thought that was the bad word so used that when being naughty.

GodOfTheThunder

The "Silly Mom" Routine

The "Silly Mom" routine.

My kid, and a few other kids I've known, would balk at getting ready to go. I'd grab their clothes and say, "Well, if you won't put on your clothes, I guess I'll put on your clothes. Cute shirt, by the way! Does it go on my foot?"

NO!

"Does it go on my head?"

NO! IT GOES ON ME!

"Oh, that's right, thanks! So, it must go on your legs, right?"

NO!

"I just can't figure this out! Where does this adorable shirt go?"

[kid grabs shirt and puts it on] ON MY TUMMY! SILLY MOM!

"Oh, thank you so much! Now what about these pants? Shirts go on tummies, so...the pants go on the tummy, too, right?"

NO!

[continue until kids have dressed themselves]

I would also do things like hand the kid my keys and say, "Alright, you're driving, I'll sit in the booster seat in back," attempt to feed the kid by putting a spoon up to his ear or his belly button, and attempt to put away his toys in the refrigerator.

insertcaffeine

Some Foot For Thought.

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My mum would always yell at us "if you don't do X, you have to go to bed without socks!"

I never wore socks anyway, and I'm ashamed to admit that this worked.

Splittsky

That would work really well on my son, or make him cry for a really long time... He's 3 and over the last few weeks has decided that he is fully unable to sleep without socks on.

PJQueen

Toddlers man. Completely unpredictable.

SheaRVA

I'm Greens With Envy

My mum had a friend that would put vegetables on her own plate and not the kids.

When the kids asked she would be reluctant to share, "that's grown up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little."

Her kids grew up loving vegetables.

I sat at the dinner table for 3 hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat.

laik72

This reminds me of an instance when my child convinced my wife and myself to change our plans for dinner. We were in a grocery store to pick up something quick and easy to eat that we wouldn't have to prepare. Our daughter, wanted none of that, she demanded that she wanted a salad from the salad bar. We started to argue back, but then realized: "Our child demands that we feed her vegetables for dinner instead of a microwaved meal, why are we saying 'No?'"

We had salad for dinner that night.

Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

The Power Of Choice

I don't so much know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn't realize it until my dad told me this.

When there were chores that needed doing, he noticed if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I'd pick one and just get it done.

Shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my twenties. I use it when I'm coaching or baby sitting all the time and it almost never fails.

AppealToReason16

The Boy Who Cried 'Ouch'

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I've done this one with tens of kids. Any time a kid gets "hurt" (falls down on grass, gets gently hit in the face with a ball, etc.) instead of stopping the activity to pick the kid up and see if they're ok you just scoot them off to the side and resume. Within 10 seconds of not getting all the attention and seeing the fun is resuming they pop right back up and are magically healed.

This of course is only for the "injuries" that aren't actually injuries.

pedanticProgramer

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