First relationships are tough. Typically they pop up when you're younger, teenager for most, when you're most certainly not mature enough to handle one. You're young, impressionable, and eager to please, unable to see what's really happening. While this could lead to heartbreak, that can be a good thing. You can learn something from that first break-up, a lesson (or lessons) that stay with you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/Departure_Jaded, wanted to hear:
What did you learn from your first girlfriend/boyfriend?
Don't Just Do It Just To Do It
Getting into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is the worst reason to be in a relationship.
Likewise, liking someone because they like you is the worst reason to like someone.
You want to date "a person", not "their company".
Doormat Is Not A Good Luck On Anyone
You can't make someone love you simply because you do so much for them.
Doormat is not a good look on anybody! Also listen to your gut.
Protect Yourself
Never send sexy pictures with your face in them.
Doesn't matter how in love you are, people get cruel after break ups.
Sometimes It's Not About You
Sometimes the way people behave in relationships have nothing to do with you, or me in this sense.
I dated a girl who went from guy to guy to guy and I realized that I was a small bump on a road to her finding out who she is and dealing with the things she needs to grow up and be a beautiful person. I've done the same to woman. I hope this makes sense.
You Can Be Angry, Sure, But
That screaming at each other during arguments is not healthy
Do Unto Others, But Don't Expect A Lot From Them
Just because you treat someone well doesn't mean they'll return the favour, and the amount of people you can trust in this world is a lot less than you think
Sometimes The Puzzle Pieces Just Don't Fit
That despite how much you love someone you can be incompatible. At least I know now what I need from a relationship
2 people can be amazing on their own but if they don't have a lot of common interests then it's kinda hard to get a relationship going
Let Yourself Enjoy The Loneliness
Being alone is better than forcing yourself to be with someone you don't love.
You Have More Value Than You Think
Don't ignore the red flags.
Don't let go of your self-respect.
When you're wearing rose colored glasses, the red flags just look like flags.
The Love Is In The Smaller Details
I'll give two lessons:
1. That "feelings" will fade away and what takes a relationship to be strong and healthy is the everyday, conscious commitment to love one another. We've been together for almost 8 years and have crossed various stages in our lives, since highschool, college, and we're still together as she studies for med school and I as I pursue my career as an accountant. We wouldnt last this long if its just due to being "excited" for each other, which we actually still are haha, but its because of always making time and being committed to support each other no matter how busy we are, while still giving enough space.
2. Consistent small things are far more valuable than big monthsary or anniversary efforts. We get so busy and stressed by our own individual "career paths", but we always find a way to squeeze in our love, either through a sweet long message, or even just a simple cup of coffee and staying up late. Love is consistency in small efforts, not by giving grand things that are just once in a blue moon.
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