A nursing assistant who ditched the rat race after suffering with burnout has reinvented herself as a 'tradwife' who gets up at 5am each day to start her chores—and swears she has never been happier.
After Viktoria Brandt, 43, changed careers from sales, to massage therapy, to nursing, she excelled, but found the price of success too high, as juggling long days with caring for her three children left only snatched moments to spend with her nurse partner Torbjörn, 50.
In 2015, feeling utterly burnt out, Viktoria, who lives in a small village in south east Sweden, quit work and reinvented herself as a 'tradwife'—the term used for a growing band of traditional wives, who are homemakers by choice, adhering to old-fashioned gender roles.
While rising at the crack of dawn to cook and clean for her family has been her key to true happiness, Viktoria claims people have poured scorn on her choices, saying:
“I don't call myself a feminist, which I have been criticized for, as people seem to think that's synonymous with being anti-equality."
“I'm against oppression of all kinds, but I am also all for us being able to make our own decisions."
“Tradwives like me deserve respect for our life choices, no matter why we've chosen to stay at home."
After marrying the father of her children, who she wishes to remain anonymous, when she was 20, Viktoria, worked in sales.
Sadly, her marriage ended in 2002, signaling a difficult time in her life, which all changed two years later, in 2004, when she met Torbjörn through mutual friends and fell for him immediately.
In 2006, she changed careers to become a massage therapist, before deciding to study nursing in 2012, going on to become a nursing assistant.
She recalled:
“It was instant love. He quickly became a part of my little family, and hasn't left our side for a minute. He's the one I will grow old with."
But, while her private life was blissfully happy, Viktoria felt increasingly exhausted by her job, saying that, by 2015, she had suffered total burnout—signs of which include exhaustion, a cynical attitude towards work and loss of efficiency, according to researchers.
Looking for better balance, she realized she wanted a lifestyle more like that of her grandmothers—who she saw as role models.
She said:
“My grandmothers were warm women who cared a lot for their families and homes."
“They'd let me be with them in their kitchens and gardens as a child, which is where I first learnt about housekeeping."
“That is where my love of traditional roles first started to grow. For me, as a young girl, it meant everything."
So, in 2015, Viktoria made the bold decision to ditch work altogether and become a full-time homemaker.
Now while her family help out with tasks like emptying the dishwasher, walking the dog and whipping up the occasional culinary treat in the kitchen, she does virtually everything else.
She explained:
“On an average day, I wake up rather early, between 5am and 7am."
“I always start by making my bed, then I put on the morning coffee. I get myself ready, always in a dress or skirt and blouse."
“I have a beautiful velvet armchair in my room, where I sit and read for a bit. After that, I start the laundry, then I take out the carpets for a good beating, sweep the floor and clean the kitchen counters."
“Then, I'll make breakfast, do some ironing, go grocery shopping and prepare the dinner, or even bake. I rest if I can when I'm tired, but I'm also available 24 hours a day, especially if one of the children isn't well."
Although Viktoria works hard to create domestic bliss, she stresses that her aim is not to keep her home spotless, but rather to create a tranquil environment for her family.
She continued:
“My standard is not perfection, it's calmness. I don't want to live in the distraction of a messy room."
“I want my home to be a safe haven and a refuge from the outside world for my family."
Viktoria's love of traditional life spills over into the way she dresses, as she always makes sure she is impeccably turned out in a feminine frock, or vintage-style skirt.
Now documenting her day to day life on her blog, The Housewife Diary, it has attracted readers from all over the world—including Australia, Chile, Canada, France, Italy, Norway and the USA— who adore her style as much as her cooking and cleaning tips.
While Viktoria understands that every family is different, she believes that having a mother at home full-time has done wonders for the happiness of her own brood.
She said:
“I would never say that every woman should stay home, but for my family and myself, it has been crucial. They feel secure when I'm around them, making sure that I always have time to meet their needs, both emotional and practical."
“All around the world, people are struggling with their psychological wellbeing, and I believe that having an adult staying home to specifically care for the emotional safety of the family would help."
“That could be a man or a woman—it doesn't matter which. When I talk about traditional gender roles, I mean feminine and masculine energy."
Truly content with her lot, Viktoria is now keen to dispel misconceptions about the tradwife movement and wants to encourage people to be less judgmental about the way she lives.
She concluded:
“Everyone has the right to live life their own way and being a tradwife is my true calling."
“I think the biggest misconception is that some people think we're against equality. I don't see how equality and loving care need to be two different things. But we're living in an open-minded world, so I would like to see a growing acceptance for those who choose a traditional life."
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