A pet owner on Reddit thought that unleashing a massive gas attack on their cat would be super funny.
Unfortunately, the Redditor found out the hard way that the feline companion did not appreciate it—and has the battle scars to prove it.
Those in the line of fire of your crack concert will not be laughing with you as this original poster had hoped.
"I was laying face down on the couch, still fully dressed from a long day at work. I was watching the news on TV, not really doing any thinking. The dog was at my feet, the cat between my shoulders."
"The cat decided to move down to where the dog was comfortably snoring and had just stepped on my butt."
Little did the cat know it detonated a stinky land mine.
"I ripped a good fart, thinking the cat would jump and I would laugh, the dog would laugh and we'd think we were better than the cat."
"Instead the cat smacked the offending a**, and not with one of those playful swats she uses for the dangling feathers on her cat post."
"She swatted with the fury to 20,000 years of genetic memory of being a feral, hunting animal."
"I have four claws marks on my a** now, one of them deep enough to leak a little blood."
Interestingly, the responses in the thread were mostly about pets committing the offensive cheek squeak.
"We have a 135-lb rottie mix that's on kibble formulated for boxers because his gas was SO BAD. I mean full-on gagging & eyes watering. But the worst part was he would whine beforehand so we knew it was super uncomfortable for him, too." – JustHereForCookies17
"This reminds me of my dog. She'd come into my room, get comfortable and then fart. Sometimes you'd hear it so you were warned."
"Sometimes it was the silent deadly ones. As soon as the smell filled the air, she'd leave again, leaving me in a contaminated room, gasping for air." – Nussel
The back-end blowout can sometimes backfire.
"I had a beagle that did similar. He let out an audible fart that startled him, so he bent himself in half to bark aggressively at his own a**. I laughed so hard I cried." – sitkasnake65
"I once owned an old horse (saved from the glue factory at an auction) who was so afraid of his own farts he'd try to gallop away from them. While still farting." – GothWitchOfBrooklyn
The OP's cat must be super smart, according to this theory.
"They say the best indicator of animal intelligence is the ability to use tools, but actually, acknowledging the discomfort inflicted by one's farts and showing remorse is what really separates the smartest animals from common beasts." – Frapcaster
"That's why cats are better, you rip a fart in their face, they'll seek revenge, you do it to a dog and they'll bury their nose in your crack thinking something tasty is buried in there. :D" – chaedog
While the dog mentioned above was digging around for a Scooby Snack, not all canines are the same.
"One of my dogs very much gets offended at farts. Even me doing a raspberry sound with my mouth and he will leave the room and look back at me accusingly."
"He also gets offended at his own farts, and looks at however he was sitting with, in a case of the dog blaming the human for his fart." – BloodBlizzard
This person experienced a similar incident.
"I was feeding my newborn her night bottle in her rocking chair. The cat was at my feet resting. I let out like a 10 second fart."
"The cat woke up, looked at me all disgusted and gave me a warning bite on my arm. You know the kind they give when you're petting them the wrong way or for too long."
"Except this was a tad bit harder. Totally surprised me and made me laugh for a good while. She then left the baby's nursery." – squattmunki
This Redditor noted this story belongs on the "Am I the A$$hole" subReddit community.
"I feel like this could also be an AITA post with the cat as the other party." – ZachGeeStone
"AITA for smacking my human's butt cheek with the Slap Of A Million Exploding Suns after he let one rip right in my face?" – panickingukulele
"They would reply that the human's a$$hole is indeed an a$$hole." – Dukedomb
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the kitty who caught the whiff of death and is now down to eight lives.