I feel like anything Dr. Oz says should be put on a "No Listen" list. And Dr. Phil, they just stir up more crap. And where to begin with "scholars" of the past? Let's try...

Be Best

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

- mcq316

Strike 3?

"Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice. Yes it does."

- FarmNcharm

"If lightning never struck the same place twice, lightning rods would be worthless. (I guess you could be really nit picky about it and claim that it's not striking the exact same place on the lightning rod every time, but the difference in the locations would probably be infinitesimal and not worth considering from a practical standpoint.)

- thejensenfeel

Albie Knows...

"I never said half the crap people say I did." ~Albert Einstein, 1943"

- TheDoctorShekel

"If you could put the universe into a tube you'd end up with a very long tube umm, probably extending twice the size of the universe because when you collapse the universe it expands and uhhh, you wouldn't want to put it into a tube. -Albert Einstein"

- MoxEmerald

What about Pie?

"Let them eat cake" She never said it."

- San_Cannabis

"Yup, the phrase first appears in one of Rousseau's first six books which were written in 1765, when she was only nine years old and published when she was 26, a few years after she became queen. Sooo its impossible for her to be the one who said it, especially since she lived in Austria until she was fifteen."

- -_-_di_-_-

LIES!

"The customer is always right."

- prof_dynamite

Customers are always crazy. That should be tattooed on every register in the world. And who cares who said it... we should always eat cake.

No Always

"Nothing is impossible". Yes, there is, you should know how to give up."

- clarktn

La Familia...

"You can't choose your family." You actually can. People do it all the time. It comes in four flavors: marriage, divorce, adoption, and disownment."

- Just-Call-Me-J

"I have several siblings, and it is virtually impossible for us to live further apart and be in the contiguous 48 US states. And we see each other at an occasional funeral."

- ztreHdrahciR

"Hate that saying. And I hate how people seem to think because they're family, you can't cut them off. Like, yes I can, bye witch. 😂"

- z0e3y

The Root

"Money is the root of all evil" is a common bull crap one people say. It's a butchered quote. The correct quote is "Love of money is the root of all kinds of evils."

- WGx2

"But the love of money comes from human nature. So you could say "human nature is the root of all evil." Then you see that human nature comes from nature itself. Do you see how you can't find the root cause of anything? Stop this illusion of separation."

- rubenespanyol

Be Quick

"Good things come to those who wait." Good things come to those who act!"

- WitzEndSendHelp

"It means waiting patiently for something, like if someone is sad that after everything they're doing something is not working, so this thing is best suited there."

- Potato_Tg

"I used the quote on a coworker who was thinking she should be more aggressive about asking for a better role at work. Her rebuttal was "The open mouth gets fed." She ended up being promoted because she went for it."

- kaibelf

I Wish

"What goes around comes around. This is complete BS. If only this was true, but it rarely is."

- MadamTheadoramoon

Goes around, there is that lack of karma again. See. I'm no the only show knows. And stop waiting! That is a life lesson to hold onto.