Donald Trump stepped onto the stage of a Fox News Town Hall hoping to discuss the coronavirus, immigration, health care and his chances at reelection in November 2020.
He did that.
But he also drew attention to his 73-year-old scalp with the most intimate exposure he's ever granted the public.
Hair is simply a long chain of proteins growing out of a mammal's skin. It warms, protects and provides touch sensations when the surrounding physical world vibrates the strand at the skin.
But hair is so much more than that.
It can be a means toward expressing religion, age, rebellion, racial pride, or an existential crisis. Hair is like a big piece of clay that everyone gets to mess around with.
And of all the head sculptures walking around, President Donald Trump's is as expressive as they come. It would not be an exaggeration to say that specific head of hair has been the object of speculation for years.
That's why Trump's March 5 Town Hall on Fox News began to make waves on the internet for the most irrelevant reasons.
Wha the hell is happening to Trumps hair in this picture https://t.co/RvtBusEV81— Marie (@Marie)1583458371.0
One viewer's extremely professional photography work illustrated with even more clarity that this was no typical bad hair day situation.
Hat hair or a strange cowlick is one thing.
Trump's issue appeared down right clinical.
Twitter began to do what it does best: offer unfiltered responses that shed zero light on the situation.
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago https://t.co/bwfnKtGmOT— Hallelujah💭 (@Hallelujah💭)1583457566.0
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago https://t.co/IxO0ySrKfo— Hugo Sham (@Hugo Sham)1583457136.0
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago https://t.co/3mTUcQhlch— It’s The Sean Of A New Day🌊 (@It’s The Sean Of A New Day🌊)1583470350.0
Twitter then began its typical phase two: hunker down and speculate.
Worthy conclusions included rare disease, cancer-based conspiracies and a variety of accusations that Trump is, in fact, a non-human animal or his hair is composed of animals.
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago Is that a symptom of Coronavirus?— ❄🌊Kath#VoteBlueToSaveAmerica🌊❄🌊🍷🐕🐶🥂🇺🇸 (@❄🌊Kath#VoteBlueToSaveAmerica🌊❄🌊🍷🐕🐶🥂🇺🇸)1583459821.0
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago The rat trapped in there is making headway— GlobeHotter (@GlobeHotter)1583459043.0
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago He's molting. https://t.co/liIOW8acd7— Devin Nunes' Cow's Auntie Fa ✌️📎🧙♀️🖖 🌊😷 (@Devin Nunes' Cow's Auntie Fa ✌️📎🧙♀️🖖 🌊😷)1583462373.0
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago Well, this is highly abnormal. The President has mange. Does the White House have an on call vet?— StillWearingMyMask (@StillWearingMyMask)1583457317.0
The majority of tweets, though, agreed that this was a major faux pas on the part of Trump's hair stylist.
These responses centered around the proper handling of the stubborn dynamics of phony hair.
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago It looks like the toupe tape has come of off his scalp to be honest.— 3 Aussies Barkley, Lillabet and Hawklin (@3 Aussies Barkley, Lillabet and Hawklin)1583457604.0
@masons_nanny @pesachlattin @TomJChicago LOL I saw a few minutes of this. It is a gap in his plastered down hair sh… https://t.co/4vyOQTFgiB— SureReality 🕳🏃🏾♂️🚶🏻🏃🏼♀️🚶🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏾♂️ (@SureReality 🕳🏃🏾♂️🚶🏻🏃🏼♀️🚶🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏾♂️)1583458478.0
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago And NO ONE said a word to him before he walked out there— CaliGamer (@CaliGamer)1583462349.0
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago There is a bobby pin holding hair back too. It almost looks like foil. Did he get high… https://t.co/lMDWrJUvZ0— Kelly Cunningham (@Kelly Cunningham)1583457856.0
@pesachlattin @TomJChicago Allow me to introduce you to the wonderful world of hair enhancement: https://t.co/FFdG4C7AzH— Judith Sanders (@Judith Sanders)1583506202.0
As for who is responsible for the poorly crafted wisp, research yields little.
Several reports attest that Trump claims Melania is the only person in charge of that hair these days. Though Amy Lasch, the President's last publicly identified hairdresser from the days of The Apprentice did provide some enlightenment.
Lasch divulged to The New York Post that it's not always as simple as fixing the hairdo before it's go time.
"If I noticed a flyaway that the camera was sure to pick up, I would hold a large mirror up to Donald and ask, 'Do you want me to fix it?' I knew damn well — ask before I raised a finger to that hair."
It's one of those stories where the one behind the scenes will remain in the shadows.
But their work, or rather their scalp-exposing oversight, is as far from the shadows as possible, gleaming in the lights of a Fox News set.