People Share The Biggest Signs That Someone's A Bad Parent

Easily flying into a rage is an issue for anyone. But when you're a parent, you have to be accountable. You can't scream and yell just because.

Mistakes

"Not apologizing for their mistakes and acting like nothing happened."

joonchild_O

Raised Voices

"Here's one I'm working on: making every correction an annoyed, angry one. When I was a kid my dad would see me doing something I shouldn't and freak the f**k out yelling and screaming most of the time. It was very jarring and scary. I've caught myself doing that to mine so I'm working really hard on appropriate responses to correcting her. If she's doing something wrong but has no idea it's wrong, that doesn't warrant raising your voice or freaking out. "

"The only time you really need to raise your voice is when they need to stop doing something immediately and you need their attention right now. Even then, try to follow that up with a calm request so they don't get freaked out and afraid of you."

Smorgas_of_borg

This is a constant thing...

"Being dismissive over the things your child cares about or just generally dismissive of their emotions."

Raddatatta

"Same. When my sister passed away in a car crash a few years back, I never was really in tune with my emotions so I wasn't really sure how to handle this. The entire time I'm having this mental breakdown I also have to worry about how I need to explain to my mom that no, I don't hate you I want to be left alone. This is a constant thing. Tbh, the more she says it the more it does become true."

BeekoBeekoBee

Fear

"Kid being terrified of the parents."

pielover1617

"Legit terrified is bad. But "' can't do that, mom/dad would KILL me!" is healthy.'"

ostlandr

WTF

"When they use your urine to pass a drug test."

Direct_Parking_8168

Some of these responses are just... I don't know what to say.

Crazy!

"When their instant reaction to any mild criticism about their child’s behaviour, or their own behaviour in front of their child:""

“ARE YOU CALLING ME A BAD MOTHER!?!?”

"I wasn’t. But now I am."

Susim-the-Housecat

Talk to other Adults...

"Dragging your kids into your adult drama. They are not your therapist, they are your child and shouldn't have to bear that burden on their shoulders."

VenomousViperz

"My mom made me feel like the parent so often when I was a kid. I recently heard a fellow coworker doing the same to her son and I cringed so hard. I understand keeping your child informed about possibly switching jobs, but you don’t call your 14 year old kid and say 'I probably won’t have a job tomorrow. I don’t know what to do. But don’t worry.' DON'T WORRY???"

allamb772

Whoops!

"Yelling in rage at kid when it drops something by accident or when it is just clumsy."

Bellevilleilya

"I did a gentle 'whoops! Watch out let's clean that up' with my daughter when she dropped a plate, and my wife and her sister both had to recenter for a moment because they grew up with absolute Dad rage and had instinctively prepared for me to flip out. It really drove home how permanent every little moment of parenting is."

ThinkThankThonk

Do as I Say!!

"Seeing your children as servants who should blindly follow your every command just because you’re their parent. Then got the nerve to act like they’re committing a crime by having a problem with that and putting up boundaries as they get older."

The_Cars93

"'parents should be seen as holy!' My mom a few days ago, because she gets constantly into conflict with me and my brothers. That these conflicts happens because she's drunken wasn't a problem for her."

ES-Flinter

NO!!

"Lack of boundaries, destructive behaviour against someone else’s property and not understanding that what word 'no' means."

aothiik

My Sister

"My sister died suddenly and unexpectedly. Me and my sister were very close but we were never close with my parents, they were emotional unavailable and dismissive our whole lives. (I could use other words to describe them, but I wont). Anyway, I tried to be strong for them, fell apart on my own as that's how I cope and what I'm used to. Ultimately they turned on me, said I didn't care my sister died."

"I don't care about anyone and then went on to list all the ways I reacted incorrectly throughout my entire life, making me out to be a devil. I had to cut all contact with them and I only regret I didn't do it sooner and that my sister didn't do it while she had the chance. We spoke about it a lot. Life sucks without my sister, I miss her more than I can express, but it's much improved without my parents in it."

kirby60

psychological warfare...

"When parents live separately and talk bad about each other to the children. No kid should believe they were born to a 'bad person.'"

These-Yoghurt-3191

"Ah, yes. As a child to divorced parents, I feel this so hard it hurts."

"You always feel like you have to choose a side, and makes you feel guilty where you shouldn’t. Even harder when they both have their own spin to the tale, and you don’t know who to believe. It’s all psychological warfare, and it’s shitty to feel like the middleman in a war you didn’t ask to be in. No child should ever have to feel like that."

FlowerchildOfTheWest

hands on...

"Bruises on your kids back in the shape of your hands."

TheDarkKnight1035

"Mom used a wooden spoon. And when she broke her favorite wooden spoon on my backside, guess who got in trouble? No big deal- I'd rather have been beaten every day than deal with the verbal/emotional abuse."

ostlandr

Head Games

“It’s all in your head!' on mental illness. Thanks, Dad; I knew something was wrong. I didn’t need invalidation; I needed help. Clinical anxiety stinks!"

ENFJPLinguaphile

Being There

"Lack of attention to your kids."

heatfan1122

"A lot of times when people think kids lack discipline most of the times it's actually just that. Lack of attention to your kids. Kids need guidance and protection and love. If parents don't give them any of this you can bet they will start acting out."

mizukata

"Looking at you, parents who ignore your kids in public because you think staring at your phone is more important."

DeathSpiral321

Typical

"My parents were the typical angry authoritarians. I learned early on that no matter what the situation was, I'd get yelled at and things would go easiest for me if I just apologized. Fault didn't matter, parents being wrong didn't matter... the longer I waited to apologize the worse it would be. Groveling apology letters would end silent treatments quicker... my mom might only ignore me for 2 days instead of 4 if I wrote her a 2 page letter explaining why her making me cry was my fault."

Carbonatite

You're Beautiful

"I worked at the kindergarten a while back and a 6 year old girl refused to dress up in a pair of pants bc it made her look fat. Learned soon after that her mother had an eating disorder and feared that her child might get fat. so she made her follow a special diet to avoid weight gain. the girl was obviously concerned about her looks, and felt guilty for eating stuff her mother didn't approve of."

ohfxckm

Chores

"When they can’t do anything for themselves. I went to college with kids who couldn’t do their own laundry or cook basic pasta meals or call and make their own appointments. Your job is to make self sufficient adults."

axani7730

"I feel like I'm in this exact position. In college, but don't (and probably can't) do basic chores because my parents insist on doing just about everything for me. Because of this, I feel incapable of moving out or ever becoming independent. It sucks so much, especially seeing my peers, some younger than me, clearly better off in this regard."

chomusuke_cat

Smile Sweetie

"Signing your little daughter up for child beauty pageants. This is the hill I’ll die on as a sign of bad parenting. Those pageants and everything around them is just all kinds of wrong."

CrieDeCoeur

Hungry?

"Not cooking, not shopping for groceries, leaving the entire house bare of food. Screaming at your kids every time they tell you that they are hungry, calling them entitled every time they say that they want food. Telling them things like, 'Why should you get to eat if you haven't done anything to deserve to eat?'"

uninc4life2010

Please be more prepared before you bring children into this world. Now you know why that's important.