If there's anyone we feel like we should always be able to rely on, it's our parents.
Unfortunately, some people have such a fraught relationship with their parents, that they only turn to them as an absolute last resort.
Some would consider those people lucky, however, as there are also those who have lost contact with their parents altogether.
By their own decision, no less.
Redditor BoardCertain5373 was curious to hear from people who cut ties with their parents, and what led them to do it, leading them to ask:
"Those who disowned their parents, what was the final straw?"
Bound To Happen Eventually
"There truly wasn’t one."
"It just was so much, for so long that I just stopped."
"My mom was too proud ever to call me because in her head, she deserved to be called."
"My father chose to cut me out of his life when my wife asked him not to wear shoes in the house."- IAmReallyThurston
One Tear Too Many
"My mother likes to make me cry."
"I think it's a control thing, but she always denies it even happens."
"After going out of her way to make me break down for three birthdays in a row, I asked my father if, just for one year, I could avoid speaking to her for the day."
"Bear in mind, I live in a different country, so it would just be a case of me not picking up the phone when she called."
"My father went apesh*t."
"Called me ungrateful, pathetic, a disappointment, etc."
"All because I wanted a birthday where I didn't cry."
"I just hung up without saying a word."
"Blocked their numbers and email addresses, deleted all social media."
"It's been years, and I'm so grateful he said all those horrible things, because I finally realized how better my life is without them."- CrazySnekGirl
Leave The Kids Out Of It!
"It was a long process, but it really ended when my mom tried to sue my wife and me for 'grandparents' rights'."
"Anything after that would've only helped her to build a case to legally kidnap our son."- David_Felder
Unwilling To Get The Help They Needed
"I wouldn't say disowned, but certainly ghosted."
"My mother died when I was in college."
"It was horrible seeing her in hospital, skin yellow from jaundice, slowly succumbing to alcoholism."
"My father was a hardcore drinker, too."
"He could hold his liquor better, but every night my parents would get wasted, and it was never a fun thing to be around."
"Being a kid growing up, you could only communicate with them in the morning when they were sober."
"In the evenings, I would stay in my room."
"As an adult with a full realization of how my father treated me growing up - not really close, not available as a parent, no acknowledgement of his faults or lack of initiative in helping my mother, I decided to ghost him."
"For the last 20 years of his life, I had no communication with him."
"He died a sad, pathetic man who had no self-awareness of the pain inflicted."
"I have no regrets at all."- ItsJustCrabs
No Use Pretending
"It was relatively small, when I stand back & look, but it was clear that our relationship was always going to be me (& everyone else) upending my life so he could do nothing at all."
"The final-final straw was a request for me to attend an appointment that would mean a ~1.5 hour bus ride each direction, missing classes, missing work + make my own arrangement to stay somewhere overnight (I couldn't stay in my parents' home unless I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor somewhere & I didn't own a sleeping bag) all so my father could play Happy Family in public."
"Again."
"I didn't get on the bus."
"I went to class."
"I had a bad day at work."
"Then I slept in my own bed."
"I didn't mean it to be forever but I realized while my work day was tanking, I would still rather be doing that than pretending to be a Happy Family."
"Everyday since has been better than it would be if he were in my life."
"He made good days miserable & bad days hell."- schnitzeldehuahua
Ripping Off Your Own Child...
"Mother was a career addict"
"I traveled 15 hours by Greyhound bus back to Illinois to help her finish up some roofing jobs still incomplete."
"She intentionally got in a fight with me at the bus station after the jobs were done, didn’t get me a ticket back, and ghosted me on $2,500."
"I had maybe $30 to my name at the time."
"Then she shut off my cell phone immediately after driving away."
"Had to walk about five miles to a friend's house."
"He and a few of my other friends drove me back down to Alabama that night."
"Never spoke to her again."- missuz-featherbottom
Putting Others Before Yourself...
"I had a kid and realized I didn't want them having any influence in her life."
"Their influence on mine was bad enough."- FixedLoad
...Though It's Not Always Selfish To Put Yourself First
"After telling them I was getting divorced."
"They told me 1) My ex would always be their son and that they loved him more than me (to be fair, they did try to backtrack and say they loved us both)."
"2) That no one else would ever love me, and I'd realize I was ruining my life when I died alone."
"3) They only loved me because the bible said they had to."
"4) That they were writing me out of their will, and leaving it to my ex, because this was proof I was mentally unstable and once I'd come to my senses and gone back to him it would be mine anyway."
"They were emotionally abusive my whole life but I kept going back and making excuses for them, not helped because my ex was abusive too."
"It's easy to believe you deserve to be treated badly when it's all people are telling you."
"Eventually I realized that I deserve to be happy and I just couldn't do that while continuing a relationship with them."
"They're never going to change, I think they honestly believe they're saying these things out of love and have no awareness of how they've hurt me."- Ruannbram
Indoctrinated
"I didn't want to be a Scientologist anymore."
"Raised from birth to believe that bullsh*t."
"Took me like 20 years to get my head straight."- Grandeftw
Ruining The Future They Worked So Hard To Achieve
"She stole my student loan money."
"I worked so hard to get into college and have a full scholarship, and she stole my room and board and book money."
"It made the first year of college damn near impossible, which kinda set the tone for the next 3." - am_riley
Neglect At Its Absolute Worst
"I moved out when I was 16."
"Some of the things were, for example, I wasn't allowed in the house unless someone was home, so I'd have to sit outside after school for 2-3 hours during Minnesota winters."
"Summer vacations were actually worse."
"We also lived 12 miles from the nearest town and was a very rural area."
"Only allowed to take 2 showers a week, 2 minutes long."
"Only allowed to eat diner because I was able to get free lunch from school."
"These aren't even the big things or strangest things, just the day-to-day things."
"Like for example about once a week my father would make me pick up everything on the carpet."
"Lint, bits of grass, dog hair, etc."
"Wasn't allowed to use a vacuum, or anything, it had to be by hand."
"And if he saw anything anywhere I didn't get to eat."
"One chance, so he would just watch me while watching tv comb over every room looking for anything on the ground."
"This was also the only time I was allowed in the living room."
"When I was 20, I decided I was going to try having a relationship again, at least with my mother, and I went to stay with them for a few days."
"Again I wasn't allowed to be in the house while they were away, I had to stay in a shed and I couldn't have any of their food but I wasn't told about so I didn't bring any food."
"After a few days I left and never talked with them again."
"That was about 25 years ago."
"I don't feel like I've missed out on anything of value."
"Oh and to add to this, I did have a brother who our father didn't do any of this to."
"They bought him clothes, gave him money, helped him get his first car, etc."
"So everything was very targeted towards me."- spytez
Someone Definitely Needed To Intervene
"When they threatened to ruin my job and prevent my employment lying and staged an intervention to coerce me into corroborating their BS."
"No contact going on 7 years, and it’s never been better."- CanidSapien
If You Can Even Call Him A Parent
"My dad was always a functional alcoholic and hit retirement about 6 years ago."
"I knew this was going to be his downfall with having nothing better to do."
"I stopped calling him after 3 pm because talking to him was impossible."
"That slowly became a noon cutoff, and then I just couldn't handle it."
"I have a half-sister that he doesn't claim and has had nothing to do with for 40 years."
"She connected with family via one of those DNA sites, and my dad didn't believe it."
"He made up a story that they needed to do a paternity test on a 45-year-old to properly set up his will."
"Then he was so drunk he misread the results and called her, telling her he's not her father."
"Mind you, this was all because my cousins asked if she would like to come to a family reunion and meet them."
"I told him he needs to get help and apologize."
"He told me he didn't care if he ever talked to me again."
"I cut off communication then, and it's been about two years."
"It really sucks because I miss my dad, but I just try to remember him as when I was younger."- booger_pile
A Matter Of Trust And Respect
"For me, it was a respect issue."
"I was pregnant with my first, and I know that miscarriages happen more frequently than people know, and I told my mom to not tell anyone."
"Not even her family, no one."
"I couldn’t have stressed that enough, and I told her my reasons."
"Well, she disrespected that and told literally everyone."
"That was it for me, it was just the last straw and I had enough."- sifrult
People Issue Restraining Orders For A Reason...
"My mom was dying of cancer."
"She had a restraining order against my father."
"Father finds her, and tries to marry her (metastatic brain tumor meant she was pretty gone the last six weeks)."
"We block it as my brother and I are medical power of attorney, but do let him see her in hospice as an act of good faith."
"I get a call from hospice the morning of her passing telling us to get over ASAP, she's going."
"We miss her passing by minutes because my father decided to yell at my brother for half an hour because my brother had locked the door to his bedroom the night before."
"Father does not come with us to hospice."
"When we call him to see how involved he wants to be with funeral stuff, he takes off with her documents, cards, and phone, then pretends to be her online for days, telling her family to contact him 'for the real story'."
"I was 22, and my brother was 19 when this all happened."
"That was the final act that made me go from 'maybe in a couple years we'll have a relationship where at least I call him once every few months' to 'I cannot have this man in my life'."
"He continued to escalate after that, but that day was the point of no return."- ShinigamiLeaf
Your family are the people who will love and support you and always be there for you no matter what.
Anyone who doesn't do just that should not be considered your family, and should probably not be an active part of your life.
@GregAbbott_TX/X
