Before you start reading this, please go drink some water.
In fact, maybe grab a sports drink or something with electrolytes. It is imperative that you make sure you are properly hydrated.
Because if you're anything like the rest of the internet, you are in dire danger of dying of thirst by the end of this article.
You see, Marvel's character Colossus has been given a whole new look, and suffice to say it's got fans thinking *ahem* carnal thoughts.
And who can blame them, because he looks like this:
One era ends as a new one begins. 🔥 #XMenHellfireGala https://t.co/khIfgkR5O0— Marvel Entertainment (@Marvel Entertainment) 1619550001.0
Colossus is the big guy in the center.
Is it... hot in here?...
FYI, Colossus used to look like this, again, big silver guy in the middle of the pack:
The new look is for Marvel's upcoming "Hellfire Gala," a sort of party that will take place across 12 issues of Marvel's X-Men comics this spring and summer to celebrate the founding of an independent nation-state for the series' mutant heroes on the island of Krakoa.
Part of the series centers on the introduction of an all-new X-Men team, so this is no small affair. Naturally, all the O.G. mutants need a new look befitting such an auspicious occasion, right?
So the X-Men mutants have all been given stunning new makeovers. But nobody seems to be noticing the others—all eyes are fixed on Colossus because... well, look at him.
That piercing gaze. That perfect daddy-goatee. Those abs of literal, actual steel.
Be real, you wanna climb that like a tree.
And so did the rest of the internet, so much so that #Colossus became a top trending topic on Twitter, with people professing their lust for Colossus and some even pledging to marry him.
Seriously, Twitter needs to get its hormones in order.
Is anyone else suddenly pregnant with Colossus' baby? https://t.co/Eooz5kk0n8— X-Reads Podcast: An X-Men Experience (@X-Reads Podcast: An X-Men Experience) 1619552402.0
@Marvel the X-Men didn't have to upgrade Colossus from "himbo" to "daddy" but they did that, they did that for all… https://t.co/FnzEyV9eEI— The Joker (of fucking) (@The Joker (of fucking)) 1619550485.0
@Marvel Colossus https://t.co/eq6CNFX5qE— BeatlesFass #93 (@BeatlesFass #93) 1619551656.0
@Marvel Colossus flexed on us this hard for what reason???? Im insulted https://t.co/27EQOVwj0j— 🦇 (@🦇) 1619550633.0
@Marvel Colossus.... https://t.co/L7XYIeRbUV— ᱬaximoff (@ᱬaximoff) 1619550361.0
colossus really said i’m gonna make you forget all the bad things i’ve done by looking sexy... i’m not forgetting… https://t.co/ItmeTnyKB5— Wheels ♿️ (@Wheels ♿️) 1619555028.0
Colossus is adamantium like Bucky’s arm but on his wang— Gail Simone (@Gail Simone) 1619556478.0
I just wanna say thank you to whoever designed colossus😌 https://t.co/kE1Lji4ffU— OmegaLevelStud (@OmegaLevelStud) 1619551663.0
Colossus can get it ;3c https://t.co/sckK8do5SW— Oblivious Cowboy @ zine work (@Oblivious Cowboy @ zine work) 1619555292.0
If you're feeling the Colossus love—or lust—mark your calendar.
His issue of "Hellfire Gala" comes out June 9, 2021.