Being that it's Oscar season, the talk of Hollywood is all the glamorous nominees of 2020's best of cinema.
But here's what should happen.
Cancel the Oscars and hand-deliver every statuette to talk show host Wendy Williams for simultaneously burping and farting on air during a recent episode of her show. Yes, even the technical awards.
Nobody—absolutely nobody, Dame Judi Dench included—has or ever will top this artistic achievement.
Unreal Burp Fart combo from Wendy Williams https://t.co/4MgzgbtTpa— Derek Allgood (@Derek Allgood)1615895941.0
Seriously, cancel all awards shows until the end of time.
The apex of human artistic accomplishment has been reached. We're done.
Williams' peerless moment of creative prowess occurred during the live broadcast of her show Monday while talking about the ongoing divorce of Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West. Given the star power of the celebrity couple, it's hard to think of anything that could upstage them.
But Williams managed to do it.
While speculating about whether Kardashian West was already dating new men, Williams spontaneously burped. Who among hasn't had a surprise belch escape, right?
No big deal. But it seems like it must have been a powerful one—it shook Williams so much that a fart escaped immediately after it too.
The split second of stunned silence by the audience and the shock on Williams's face before she grimaced in exasperation at the wiles of her own body is the type of comedic perfection that comedy writers have sought to create since time immemorial.
As silence gave way to a handful of guffaws and whoops from the audience, Williams simply apologized, gave a small chuckle, and soldiered on with her segment.
Now THAT is professionalism. Oprah Winfrey wishes. Barbara Walters could never.
And on Twitter, of course, Williams' iconic achievement in the televisual arts did not go unnoticed.
BREAKING NEWS THAT WILL MOST DEFINITELY CHANGE YOUR LIFE: Wendy Williams burps and farts at the same time in the mi… https://t.co/gip9sqMtDU— Def Noodles (@Def Noodles)1615868121.0
this is the ONLY THING i care about https://t.co/VeQuHQtvea— samantha irby (@samantha irby)1615930021.0
1. Yes, I’m texting my husband about Wendy Williams’ burp-fart while we’re one room apart. It’s year 2 of the pande… https://t.co/ppnsBUJNkp— Megan Collins (@Megan Collins)1615940032.0
I laughed so hard at the Wendy Williams burp/fart I choked on air stay humble out here— emelia bedelia (@emelia bedelia)1615941363.0
Sure when Wendy Williams burps and farts at the same time it’s comical but when I do it it’s “not acceptable in a management meeting” 🤷🏻♀️— Bills (@Bills)1615922170.0
I've spent a disproportionate amount of time today laughing at Wendy Williams burp-farting.— Will (@Will)1615916004.0
PLEASE why am i losing it over the wendy williams fart/burp— potato wedge god (@potato wedge god)1616120933.0
Simultaneous eructation and flatus are lost artforms. https://t.co/7XAR6qkpJu— 🇺🇸Lionel🇺🇸 (@🇺🇸Lionel🇺🇸)1615929989.0
Categorizing my life as BWWBF and AWWBF. before wendy williams burp fart and after wendy williams burp fart https://t.co/8Qyjevnvzt— VerdkaWater (@VerdkaWater)1615933316.0
honestly? the talent https://t.co/qyhczhCAz5 https://t.co/qNQlZnHO20— yamie (@yamie)1615923498.0
If the Paley Center for Media doesn't immediately add this seminal moment in television history to its retrospective archive there should be a class action lawsuit filed in the International Criminal Court. Respect Wendy's talent!