Guy Invents WiFi Anal Vibrator Where The Intensity Is Determined By A Twitter Poll—And The Future Is Now
Ah, sex toys. Where would we be without them? Especially during long stretches of social isolation, they're probably the only thing getting many of us through this pandemic. But in the end, they're kind of a solitary pursuit, right?
Well, not any longer... kind of. Because there's now a vibrator, that you can put in your butt, and have the internet control it via a Twitter poll.
No, this isn't a joke. And no, nobody asked for this.
But yes, it is very, very real.
Got a new demo working!! The web interface still needs lots of improvements, but now I can select a parametric func… https://t.co/vUqfsly9cY— Space Buck (@Space Buck)1599678884.0
The product, called, evocatively, the Double-Oh, comes for a pseudonymous inventor named Buck from, of course, Berlin.
Despite its name, the Double-Oh is actually a special type of custom-built, WiFi-enabled battery that can control any device that operates on AA batteries. But Buck's most recent test case was an anal vibrator. A bonus for all of us, to be sure!
To test his product, Buck demo'd on himself. And live tweeted it. Because, well... it's 2020 and there are no rules.
Buck connected the vibrator to a poll on his Twitter account, and let 'er rip (hopefully only figuratively).
Buck's candidly worded tweet read:
"Here we go: my open-source Wi-Fi vibrator is in my butt again. Instead of running a guestbook, it's reading the status of this tweet."
Well okay then.
As Buck further explained in his tweet, the vibrator's intensity was controlled by the poll embedded in the tweet--readers could choose between "MORE INTENSE" or "less intense," while the timing was controlled by likes and retweets--10-second intervals or 30-second intervals, respectively.
As the poll shows, Buck was given "MORE INTENSE" vibration by a 72-point margin, so... you might be wondering if Buck is okay. Turns out, as he posted in a follow-up tweet, he had "a great time."
Aaaaaand it's over! Around the 75 minute mark, the battery level dropped below 3.4V and the device shut itself off… https://t.co/Y0Z0xd94Mx— Space Buck (@Space Buck)1599848501.0
So you might be asking, if the Double-Oh can be used on any device with a AA battery, why did Buck decide to do this, exactly? There are two reasons. As he told Mashable:
"I'm really interested in the disarming combination--extreme intimacy and total remoteness--that teledildonics brings."
"Teledildonics..." Man, 2020 just continues to be full of surprises.
But Buck also chose the anal vibrator demo for a far simpler reason:
"...sex toys are a great way to demonstrate its abilities and make a stir online, haha."
A marketing coup, for sure--Buck's little gadget drew plenty of attention on Twitter, where reactions were all over the map.
@heyspacebuck This is incredible 🤣🤣🤣 what a time to be alive— Big Chief SMASH (@Big Chief SMASH)1600198950.0
This is the cyberpunk future I wanted instead of megacorporations ushering global hyperfascism in the middle of env… https://t.co/sxDRrrK6kd— C12H24O2 (@C12H24O2)1599850448.0
https://t.co/6TiweRvyVZ https://t.co/h1MZaiwqLB— nàvI (@nàvI)1599847434.0
There are few phrases in the English language more beautiful than "my open-source Wi-Fi vibrator is in my butt agai… https://t.co/4MIoADm6zz— buttplug.io 🍑🔌 - Open Source Sex Tech (@buttplug.io 🍑🔌 - Open Source Sex Tech)1599845807.0
https://t.co/P62i9KAE9J https://t.co/ocX9biWA06— britinho (@britinho)1600130897.0
2020 continues to amaze/shock/horrify us https://t.co/BZy0lsZWC3— Lori King (@Lori King)1600126198.0
Best Black Mirror episode ever. https://t.co/QcRkKrkfbn— Édouard Péricourt (@Édouard Péricourt)1600180445.0
Keep 'em coming! https://t.co/rNWRGUPszE— arturo182 (@arturo182)1599846749.0
So there you have it: 2020 may be a nightmare, but it brought us the science of teledildonics, and you certainly can't say that for 2019!