However, the difference between justice and something maybe a little less than justice isn't always clear. And maybe you should run a big, public move to humiliate someone by one of your friends first.
It's time we return to our favorite board on Reddit, AITA. For those not in the know, AITA is short for "Am I the A**hole?"
Responses can vary, but are usually one of these:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA -You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - Not Enough Information
Today's story comes to us from Reddit user ensee3. The original poster (or OP) explains her strained relationship with her twin sister.
"My sister and I are twins (25). She has a husband and now is having a child. I'm in a lesbian relationship and have been with my partner for nearly a year."
"My sister is borderline homophobic and has never made the effort with my partner. She always refers to her as my friend and that it's not possible to love somebody of the same sex."
When you're unaccepted by your own family, it can be something difficult to deal with.
It's hard to imagine if that same situation plays out with someone you're so close to growing up, like your twin. That pain can lead to some bad thoughts, or even worse ideas.
Just like what OP comes up with.
"Anyway she had her baby shower last week and there was most of our family there. After she got most her gifts I proposed to my girlfriend."
"I've been planning this for around 2 months and decided I wanted to do it at my sisters baby shower as a way to show off my partner and how much I love her."
She did what?
"It was an awkward disaster."
OP's decision to show up her sister's baby shower didn't go well.
Her sister is obviously furious. Her parents aren't happy, though they are supportive of the wedding.
At the very least, OP's girlfriend said yes. In all this, all the chaos caused by the act, OP doesn't see anything wrong with it.
But if everyone around you is saying it was the jerk thing to do, maybe you get a second opinion. Which is exactly what OP did.
And what did the internet say?
"YTA. It seems like you're just doing it to rub it in her face. Of course it was going to cause tension. This isn't to say I agree with your sisters views at all. But stealing the limelight at someone else's celebration literally never goes well!" - moosigirl
"Not just that. She used her fiancé as a prop instead of doing something special with the engagement." - snakeinsheepclothes
"YTA. How tacky. Not only that, but you knew your sister was going to react badly because she's homophobic, so you also took a decent proposal away from your partner. You knew it was going to be a mess and you did it anyway without any regards to how you partner might feel about it." - sonja_says
"Of course, YTA. You stole the limelight from your sister at her event and offered your fiancee a lame baby shower proposal. And yes, your sister sucks for her homophobia." - Kristishere
A lot of comments focused on the fact that, despite the horrible way her sister might have treated her, OP didn't have any right to steal the thunder of a baby shower.
On top of that, OP's girlfriend was put on the spot, in an awkward situation, rather than getting the nice engagement she deserved. They pointed out that OP was only thinking of herself and no one else in her plan for revenge.
Others took a more nuanced approach and acknowledged how bad OP's sister is, but didn't let her off the hook.
"ESH but mostly you. Your sister is a gross homophobe but people who take attention from someone else's event (birthday, wedding, baby shower, etc) are the worst kinds of a**holes." - Meowdy336
"ESH, this is an extremely petty and awkward thing, same sex, different sex doesnt matter, but honestly by you doing it at the shower just to smite her takes away from what could have been a special proposal." - Historyinpeanuts
"ESh while it's not ok for your sister to be homophobic, you took a day that was supposed to be about her and made yourself the center of attention." - CobaltAce51
"ESH... Your sister for obvious reasons and you for turning what should have been a memorable moment and a sweet memory for your partner as an "awkward disaster" for pettiness! Thats very selfish." - enthupattani
Even in this situation, the comments boiled down to "homophobia bad" but OP was still wrong.
The recurring theme of taking away something that could have been special for her girlfriend popped up again. Admittedly, OP's sister does sound really bad.
She called OP a slur after this whole event went down. Some might argue that she was pressured into it after what OP did, but that doesn't make it right.
Situations like that can make it hard for some people to decide if OP is really the one in the wrong.
"Begrudgingly ruling that YTA. While part of me loves that you hijacked her shower (because she's absolutely a bigot and f*** that s***) it was still a tacky move."
"Announcing your pregnancy at somebody's wedding, or your engagement at someone's birthday, or any similar circumstances is unacceptable, unless you have the express permission of the person of the host/parties involved." - tranquileyes85
"Yeah anyone who hijacks another persons moment to have their own will automatically be the a**hole." - Hrududu147
"I would have said you were the a**hole for doing it at a normal baby shower, but my vote changed for the story because f*** homophobic relatives. congrats on your engagement. <3" - k3ndrag0n
"To be fair, someone behaving badly doesn't give you the excuse to behave badly in retaliation. It actually makes the LGBT+ community look terrible that this is considered "okay" just because of comments the sister made." - Crusstacean
Public engagements rarely go well, unless agreed upon in advance. Public engagements at someone else's big event never go well, instead stealing the spotlight from someone else's day.
And a public engagement at your homophobic sister's baby shower just to get back at her is going to hurt your new fiancée more than anyone else.