A woman's in-laws got an eyeful after arriving early for a home visit.
They let themselves in with a spare key and saw their son's significant other lying topless with her newborn on top of her.
Even though they did not live there, they found the sight objectionable and yelled at her to put a shirt on.
In her OWN HOME.
The original poster (OP)—whose handle has been updated as "deleted"—defended herself by blaming her boyfriend's parents for being an hour early before the expected arrival time.
The AITA (Am I the A**hole) subReddit community sided with her and also discussed when it is okay to give out spare keys.
The OP began with an explanation for her state of undress.
"I have a son (4 months old), I'm breastfeeding, he's forever spitting up on me, and we're trying to give as much skin to skin contact as possible."
"Because of this, I've pretty much stopped wearing clothes at home. I'll wear them when I go out, obviously, but in the privacy of mine and my boyfriend's flat I just go bare chested."
"My in laws were meant to come by around 6pm, and instead came by over an hour early and let themselves in with the spare key."
"I was sleeping on the sofa with my son on my chest, they got an eyeful."
"I woke up to them yelling at me to put a shirt on and asking why I didn't do that sooner if I knew they'd be over today."
"I maintain that they were a full hour early and why on earth would they just let themselves in when I didn't answer the door."
"My boyfriend wants me to apologise, I refuse."
Even though she remained steadfast in her decision, she asked Redditors:
"Who's the a**hole here?"
Most everyone in the AITA (Am I the A**hole) community agreed she was NTA (not the a**hole.)
"NTA. First off, they shouldn't have let themselves in. Second, it's your damn house. You're free to do what you want." – Initial_Elderberry
"NTA 100%. I have a two month old and am doing almost the same thing."
"No one is allowed to come in unless one of us answers the door. Even if they have a key."
"That's a rule we imposed from the get go, also, we need to know when they are on the way over so we can be prepared."
"Your house, your kid, your body, your frickin rules. You did NOTHING wrong. They should apologize to YOU for invading your privacy." – gistergurl2005
Key privileges, however, was a debatable topic.
"NTA. You should get the key back too." – PissedOffMama
"Also talk to your boyfriend about why he thought they should have a key in the first place, given that they're like this."
"My guess is that he's pretty programmed, and that you endure a lot of other deranged behavior because he doesn't see a problem." – eddy_fication
"Look tbh, it's REALLY USEFUL to have family have a key to your place, provided they don't pull crazy sh*t."
"This, for example, is the point you take that key back. But sometimes, it can really save your a** (forgot passport at home or whatever, at the airport, family need to help)." – mewthulhu
"NTA. 100% handy to have a family member/friend or two with spares."
"0% acceptable to let yourself into someone's house without A) them expecting you, B) notifying them you're coming, or C) announcing yourself like a couple of cops breaking in before taking a second step inside." – Aran33
This user believes the problem is more about bad timing.
"I don't think this a revoking the key moment. when I'm expecting someone over who has the key I'd expect them to let themselves in if I wasn't answering especially if they're coming from >30 minutes away (although distance isn't clarified in this story)."
"Maybe I'm in the shower, using the the bathroom, or possibly napping, like OP."
"That being said, everyone knows I walk around my place naked so if they're an hour early and feel ballsy enough to come in, it's their problem."
"Now I do understand that they were an hour early. They without a doubt should have given a heads up. Personally I'm typically dressed 20 minutes prior to expecting anyone. Gotta give some grace period."
"As for OP. Just set some clear boundaries. No need to take the key away yet."
"If they knew you walked around bare breasted I doubt they would've just let themselves in." – bignick1190
And this user believes it's a people problem.
"It's a people issue."
"My inlaws have a key."
"They would NEVER show up unannounced and they most definitely wouldn't let themselves in if they decided to."
"They have a key to like, lend us if we lose ours or if we need to ask them to do something for us while we are out of town." – KingOfAllWomen
"The key is for emergencies and the like, not to just hop in whenever."
"I think it's super bizzarre to just walk into anyone's house. Especially in an age where everyone has a phone on them at any given time." – f33f33nkou
"nochickflickmoments" took issue with the in-laws berating the OP.
"Its the yelling at her to get dressed that is upsetting. It's her house."
"A normal person would have seen her topless and quietly leave and then knock on the door. Or arrive at the agreed time."
"Family members have keys to our house because I take care of my grandmother and one family member came in when I was cooking in my underwear. He said oops and turned around. Always announced himself after that."
By the way, there is a third party to consider.
"Her bf is an a**hole for asking her to apologize." – Rottsnottots
In Reddit-land, there can be more than one a**hole.
"NTA It's unspeakably rude to just let yourself into someone else's home. It's just as rude to be an hour early without any kind of warning."
"So, they're a**holes even before getting to the bullsh*t of what you wear or don't wear in the privacy of your own home, and their opinions about that."
"Also, special shoutout to your partner for not having your back in all this- he's an a**hole too for that."
"Basically, you and the baby are the only people here who aren't a**holes AND are owed big apologies." – SpicyMustFlow
The OP responded to concerns of the sleeping position and the newborn's risks for suffocation and SIDS.
"please know that I am fully aware of this and am taking all measures to avoid any injury/death of my child, this was a one off event after he fell asleep on top of me and we napped for less than an hour, probably closer to half an hour."
"I appreciate the concern but this is the only time it's happened and it won't be happening again."
She also caved and apologized to the in-laws to put an end to the awkward episode.
"My boyfriend is mad at me for making things awkward, and my in laws are annoyed by what they saw, so I just called them and apologised."
"Going forward I will assume they will be early and not nap/be shirtless on days they are coming in case they arrive ahead of time."
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