Gay men looking to hook up through numerous dating app options usually find themselves experiencing one of two outcomes.
If they don't mutually get their needs met, they either wind up interacting with non-commital time wasters or receive rude messages.
But every now and then, a decent human being shows up unexpectedly on apps like Grindr and restores faith in the male species.
Gay Twitter user Matt came across a private message from someone on Grindr who wasn't necessarily looking for a debaucherous good time but was–gasp–looking for a genuine connection in the LGBTQ+ community.
Yes, every now and then, it does happen–which surprised Matt.
The contents of the sweet note hit all the unexpected feels on what was otherwise known for being a vapid app.
While many users routinely share screenshots of some of their cringiest Grindr interactions, Matt's screenshot was of a heartfelt note sent by an older gentleman.
After reading the sweet note, Matt tweeted it with the caption:
"I am not crying from a Grindr message."
The sender had written:
"Let me say in advance I am not flirting with you. Or at least not in the way one might think."
He went on to clarify:
"I'm old enough to be your grandfather. But your picture reminds me of when I was young and living south of Los Angeles."
"I had a Jeep with no doors no roof and I would drive around with just sneakers and short shorts."
The mystery man then eventually came clean by admitting he was "hustling my a** a little bit lol."
But he ended the message with a simple but very profound reminder.
"Enjoy life. It goes by too quickly."
\u201ci am not crying from a grindr message\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
@mattxiv/Twitter
Those who were moved by this wise man's gay carpe diem initiative encouraged Matt to stay connected with him.
\u201c@mattxiv Make a date to meet him for brunch on a Sunday once a month! Your life will be better for it.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv get lunch with that man and let him tell you his stories. no way you regret it.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv Have him send pics (to you privately) - we\u2019ll all be there - let him really relive that time in his life - I want to live my best life to have those memories\u2026 all the memories \u2764\ufe0f\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv I would love to sit down with this man for 6 hours into the late hours and listen to him talk about his life and all the pain and joy it brought, he sounds like he would be a natural storyteller\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv u better listen to his stories\u2026 older gay men and their stories are too few\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv That\u2019s so sweet man \nI can appreciate old people so much just wanting to give advice and tell their story because a lot of them are so lonely\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv He really sees himself in you. How heartwarming even if so random \ud83d\ude05\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv I do hope that you will follow-up with that man and meet for a coffee. You might just make a special friend. When I was a young gay man in my mid 30s, I met a man in his mid 80s, and we became best of friends. It was mutually beneficial for both of us.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv This is the only good Grindr screenshot anyone has ever tweeted.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv older people are the same with minor differences such as appearance and actual age. person wise, they\u2019re the same, they were like us too.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
The gay dating scene can be a harsh place.
With so many users obsessed with looks, those who are above a certain age often get neglected–and at worst–get slapped with ageist remarks.
This is a shame given the fact that if it weren't for our gay elders, none of us in the community would be afforded the freedoms that have been fought for future generations.
\u201c@mattxiv I am simultaneously loving that guy and hating this whole thing at the same time. I'm mid-40s and I already feel like that GD grandpa. I'm newly divorced, and I feel invisible to everyone younger than me. The gays are a harsh breed, we are.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv What\u2019s even crazier is that he probably paved the way for us to be as open as we are but people dont ever want to give credit to the OGs!!\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv Last year at SD pride I sat next to an older man on the shuttle. He told me so many stories, his lesbian best friend, who he married for safety, the soulmate he loved and lost- even the new guy who was flirting with him up in SF. He told me to keep fighting and keep loving.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv The reason this is so heart clenching is bc queer ppl didn\u2019t get to discover themselves freely during our preteen years, we had to become adults before we could truly be able to start exploring ourselves and finding out who we really are and it just feels like we\u2019ve wasted time\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv This is adorable and I hope he finds a fella to ride around with sneakers and shorts with\u2026 at all ages. \u2764\ufe0f\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
Matt's admirer was likely part of a previous generation of gay men who fought against homophobic oppression during protests like the 1969 Stonewall Inn riots and helped push for LGBTQ+ equality and inclusivity.
They also suffered the significant loss of friends and lovers to violent hate crimes and due to the burgeoning AIDS crisis in the 80s.
Although these individuals didn't have queer role models to inspire them, they were forced into activism because it was a matter of life or death.
Thanks to these courageous trailblazers, significant strides have been made over the years so that the gay youth of today can enjoy the rights and freedoms of life in 2023.
\u201c@mattxiv And so many of his friends and lovers likely died in the 80s, so he knows what he\u2019s talking about. So sweet.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
While much of this man's history is unknown to Matt, it isn't surprising he would encourage his younger lookalike to embrace his youth and not get bogged down by FOMO (fear of missing out) as social media users today often do.
One thing is for certain.
Their refreshing interaction was a welcome one on the hookup app.
\u201c@mattxiv Rare wholesome moment from grindr\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv This is so extraordinarily human I love it\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv Never thought a grindr message could make me cry usually it's just hate messages and shade being thrown and people screenshotting them to get likes.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv That\u2019s unconventionally beautiful. The message between the lines.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
\u201c@mattxiv He gave you an 'I see you, youngblood!' message. Grindr isn't supposed to be this wholesome or uplifting, but here we are.\u201d— matt (@matt) 1681086738
Hopefully, Matt will reach out to this man, plan a lunch date together and be enlightened with firsthand anecdotes from a different time.