Is one condiment not good enough for you?
Do you need to mix something creamy with something tomatoey and sugary in order to hit your dinnertime urges?
Well then do we have good news for you.
Heinz, the brand behind everybody's favorite ketchup, is coming out with an invention that plays god even more than their scary colorful ketchup did.
In case you forgot:
The 90s.
It blinds me!
Well, get ready for the late 2010s version of this ridiculousness.
Behold, the Kranch:
Kranch.
What a name. A name only a mad ketchup scientist would love.
Kranch, of course, is a combination of ketchup and ranch dressing.
Following the Mayochup/-must/-cue (combinations of mayo and ketchup, mayo and mustard, and mayo and barbecue sauce), this is the newest sauce sure to make fry lovers drool.
Or....have we gone too far this time.
The Takeout says Heinz is drunk with power.
"Perhaps delirious from their own success, the minds at Heinz that brought us Mayochup and its subsequent descendants have once again tested the boundaries of condiment crossbreeding. Somewhere, hidden deep amongst the catacombs of Heinz headquarters, these mad food scientists give free rein to even the basest of instincts, unchecked, ungoverned by the tenets of civilized society. And lo, what they have wrought."
"When we launched Mayochup, Mayomust, and Mayocue, our fans speculated on social media what they thought the next condiment mashup should be—the tweets were pouring in!" Dalia Adler, Associate Director of Marketing for Heinz, said in a statement, according to Delish.
"Inspired by our fans' ideas, our new Kranch sauce is a blend of ketchup and ranch that will completely change your condiment game this summer."
Heinz is giving away free bottles of Kranch to random tweeters who use the hashtag #KlaimMyKranch, which strangely enough was not thought up by the same people who wrote the Mortal Kombat games.
We are looking forward to this release. If nothing else, to prove that we have gone too far as a species.
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Comedy Central
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