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Lovers have them.
Friendships have them.
Parents and kids may need them.
There is a moment, a point, in every relationship when people say, "No. This is unacceptable, and I'll never see you the same way!"
Redditor cheekybubbles wanted to hear about the relationship hard lines we know there is no return from, so they asked:
"What is a 'point of no return' in a relationship?"
TRUTH!!
"When you can't trust them anymore."
- symbha
Preach Amy Poehler GIF by SistersGiphy
Angry Choices
"When either of you tries to be objectively mean in the hopes of hurting the other. No coming back from that in my opinion."
- Backpack_Bob
"Especially when they use something traumatic you've shared because you trust them and frame it as your fault e.g. saying 'No wonder your parents hit you' or 'Now I understand why your ex used to self-harm while dating you.'"
- aoi4eg
"My ex told me herself that she hurts people when she's hurt because of them, even if they did it unintentionally. I never thought she'd do that to me, but she did, and I was still okay with it, thinking she was just that way, so what."
"She'd say stuff utterly brutal and then later apologize and then came a point where the apologies stopped mattering to me."
- Dictat0r10
Anger Issues?
"Contempt."
- Able-Hamster3457
"I read another post one day and a marriage counselor says he can pretty much tell it's over when one starts showing contempt for the other person."
"It impacted my relationship in a positive way. My wife and I operate with the belief that successful relationships need to be worked for. There needs to be effort. That it's a constant work in progress."
"While things are better now because of this philosophy, there were points in the past where feelings of contempt bubbled up. We didn't let them fester. When one of us felt that way we spoke up and we talked through it."
"We know contempt is a deal-killer. But we love each other and want to be together forever so we try to stop it in its tracks. Thanks to that post, our confidence in our relationship - almost 6 years now - is stronger than ever."
"So, Mr., Ms. or Mrs. therapist, thank you."
- Ikoikobythefio
Read a Book
"When you or your partner genuinely no longer cares about the other person's welfare. I have read this in a book from a renowned psychiatrist. He stated that in his long career, he had never seen a couple rekindle a love that had grown this cold."
- Sharpest_Edge84
"That’s interesting. The first answer was contempt and I was like 'Yep, got that, I’m in trouble.' When I saw this answer I realized that no matter what I will always care what happens to my partner. I think I will always love her on that level even to the point where I would want to make sure she’s settled with a new partner before I would move on myself."
- martej
Nothing
"When you've had the same argument about something that's important to you (but not important to them) over, and over, and over, and over."
"You've tried everything. You've explained yourself a zillion times, you've asked to work around the problem, and you've asked for their acceptance in spite of their not understanding."
"None of it has worked. And then, one day, you're having that same argument. Again. But this time, you look at them and feel nothing."
"You don't feel angry, resentful, determined, or desperate for them to get it. You don't even feel drained. You just feel nothing, as if they were a complete stranger you just saw walking on the other side of the street."
"And you think, 'Who is this, really? Why am I even having this conversation? And how do I get them out of my house?'"
- PearNoMore
Checked Out
"So many. When you stop caring or knowing that as much as you may love them, you can't see a future with them. Both different but valid."
- Plus-Implement
Look Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Getting Cold
"When they keep telling you what they need from you and you promise to do it or stop doing it ( whatever it is) but you don’t follow through. After 200 times the other person shuts down. They get cold towards you. They have decided you do not respect them. They are already gone. You just don’t know it."
- EasyPeasy2U
To the Metro
"When I read point of no return, I don’t necessarily take it as a negative like many of these comments suggest. Just, there is no going back. I met my wife on a dating app. We had our first date, which lasted all day and all night. The next morning we walked each other to the metro. We held hands. Before I boarded my train she told me she already deleted the dating app. That was my point of no return. We’ve been married for almost 10 years now. Sometimes, you just know."
- itsoundslikehome
Nonstop
"When the other person begins to deny reality and gaslights nonstop."
"This girl wanted a second chance so badly but kept denying that she cheated on me, even though I knew for a fact that she did, I just couldn't prove it because she would always find a way to twist what I saw in the most ridiculous ways, at some point I even started questioning my own sanity, 'Did I f**king hallucinate all that sh**?' Luckily I didn't fall for that."
"All that gaslighting, that was the moment I knew it was truly over. Had she owned her mistake, I would've been willing to try again, I still loved her. Own your shit people."
- alexkiltro
Partners
"When you both commit a felony and have to rely on the other not to snitch."
- xX_420DemonLord69_Xx
Money Police GIF by G5 gamesGiphy
The End
"Death."
- D-Rez
"Reminds me of my parents: they had their issues over the years but were full-on ride or die. Turns out you can't ride terminal cancer. We lost dad almost 14 years ago and mom straight up gets hostile if anyone suggests she as much as consider trying to meet someone new."
"So it sounds like death was not the point of no return, your mom continues to honor their relationship even after his death. I am so sorry for your loss but thank you for sharing the story."
Double Down
"Purposefully being disrespectful. Especially if the person has told you that your actions hurt them and they double down on the act."
- overlord_wrath1
"This!! Don’t know how to go back after this."
- aliceeeeeia
The Value
"When your partner and you have different beliefs about each other's worth and are unable to talk into an agreement with each other the subordinate partner can either demonstrate they have higher value than they are being treated as or they can leave. Most people choose to leave and then demonstrate their worth to another partner."
- Horror-Collar-5277
"Usually when I see this happen, the partner who isn't treating the other person like they are of value doesn't actually think the person is lower value they just won't admit their value because then they'd have to treat them better. And when the subordinate partner leaves the relationship to find someone who treats them with value, that person left behind starts changing their tune immediately."
- Obv_Probv
Suddenly
"Here's a minor one: Sudden shyness."
"I had a relationship years ago that was going south, and once noticed that she wouldn't change in front of me anymore. She went from, 'I'm happily sharing every bit of myself with you' to 'You're too much of a stranger to see me exposed.' That was when I realized that even though we were still together, she had moved on."
- StylishPubes
Communication
"When one starts to resort to negative behaviors, such as becoming intentionally mean or seeking attention through hurtful actions, despite attempts to communicate concerns with the other person. It signifies a breakdown in communication and a deep-seated dissatisfaction and in my case, it led to a break up worse than I had ever lived just because we didn't know how to communicate anymore."
- BarfussamKlavier24
Mean Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy
What have we learned?
Boundaries are a good thing.
Accept them. Embrace them.
Having a boundary can be very healthy.
Having lines that shouldn't be crossed keeps us sane.
Don't dfeaar them.