COMICSANDS
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secondnexus
george's picks
You're Saved!
GiphyWhen my daughter was little and still believed band-aids cured things, one time she had a belly ache so I put one on her belly and it made her feel better. Power of placebos! tres_chill
I think this advertiser was working on the assumption that most of his consumers did not know what placebo meant. Of course, either way it could still work.
when my wife was raising her kids on her own her little boy was having nightmares about a monster. She asked him which of his stuffed toys was the strongest and the toughest. He indicated his stuffed dog. She then told him to put the dog on the edge of the bed and that he would protect him from the monsters. It worked like a charm. At this point I realized that some magic is real. Cheeseand0nions
Run don't walk!
When I was in my old 500+ person building, I kept a stack of papers on my desk. When I was bored, or got tired of sitting down, I'd get up, grab my stack of papers and walk around. I called them my "walking papers" and did this for months. Got a lot of head nods and not one question the entire time. People always assumed I was on an important mission, but nope. Not in the least.
PS: worked on the executive floor / wing, too. 37214
Fippin' Felon!
GiphyTake a 1 dollar bill and flip it over. Now tape a 5 dollar bill and tape it to the end of the upside down single with as little tape as possible to make it secure. Now feed the five dollar bill into a change machine. The coin machine reads the five, gives you quarters, then reads the upside down single, rejects that, and boom, you got yourself a felony. BodhiMage
I love living for free!
If you have no complaints about your food service/staff at a restaurant, ask to see the manager and pay a compliment and a "thank you" about the server/host/staff. Usually people want to see a manager to complain, and a compliment is nearly always welcome.
I've gotten countless free drinks/appetizers/chips/% off my bill - all for just making a polite comment to management. heelstoo
"Gesundheit!"
I had a professor in college who, while lecturing, suddenly let out a huge fart. Without pausing, he turned his head as if talking to someone behind him, said "Gesundheit," and continued lecturing as if nothing had happened.
It immediately diffused any potential awkwardness and embarrassment, and I vowed to use the same strategy if the same thing ever happened to me in front of a large crowd of people. KnowsAboutMath
Ruffling Feathers!
GiphyIf you tuck a chicken's head under its wing and wave the chicken in a circle, it will automatically fall asleep. It's not a very good cheat code, but it's still a cheat code to get you sleeping chickens. HoboTheDinosaur
What do you mean by wave in a circle? TheCanadianEmpire
I second this. We gotta know if the chicken:
- has to be waved in a circle like you're drawing a O in the air
- held still while you spin in a circle
- rotate the chicken vertically
- rotate it horizontally
So many possibilities! Jek2424
Bless you!
The correct response to any compliment is "Thank you." You can then follow it up with a comment if you'd like to continue the conversation. If someone likes your dress? "Thank you, it has pockets!" If someone compliments your art? "Thank you, I've been practicing." If someone asks if you're a professional singer because you have a good singing voice? "Thank you, I just sing for fun."
Not only does it make you seem confident and self-assured, it tells them that they are right! That's a friendly thing to do.
This even works if you don't believe the compliment. Saying, "Oh, no, I'm ugly," when someone compliments your appearance not only tells them that they're wrong, it makes you think of yourself as ugly. A better answer would be, "Thank you, I really appreciate that and I don't always believe it, so hearing that from you helps." insertcaffeine
SHHHHH.....
The "remain silent" dialogue option is useful, even if you have to scroll down to find it. It can keep you from failing or getting locked out of certain quest lines. Any_Move
I've mastered the "basic acknowledgement" skill.
Someone will inevitably say something that on it's own, means nothing. They're implying something, but it's often effective to just get them to say it out loud. Sometimes, it's the buffer between "just do it," and "that sounded more intense than I thought."
"Okay...." in that "go on" kind of tone. movingtarget4616
Hold your cards...
GiphyYou don't have to always "give away the recipe."
By that I mean, don't over explain yourself. If you can't do something, 9/10 times it's okay to simply say "unfortunately I'm not able to do that, can't swing it this time," etc. You don't have to go on and on about why, or make up reasons and list them off. Over explaining just ends up looking more suspect than simply being clear and concise. dolorousbread
Not just firewood....
You can borrow almost all of your textbooks from the library as a college student because of modern book rental agreements most colleges have.
WorldCAT allows you to be linked to almost any library in America, and all you have to do is find your book in the system and fill out a request form at a library and it should be there in a week. I've saved probably $2,000 doing this in my first two years of college.
V.I.Ps Only!
Set the do not disturb feature on your phone to turn on from 10pm-7am. You will sleep so much better without constant notifications from emails, games, or your mother in law who wants to send a group message at midnight because she is in a different timezone.
If you have people you want to be able to reach you (family/girlfriend/boyfriend), you can make a special list that will let only their calls/messages come through. U_smell_like_goat
Rise & Shine!
GiphyNo matter what your bed time and wake up time is stick with it. After a decade of being that person on Facebook at 3 am and off to work 4 hours later I started to view sleep as a enjoyable activity not a chore.
Game changer. Mornings are never a drag. If I have trouble sleeping, I can make up for it the next morning with our f**king up my whole day.
When it's your bed time, turn off the lights and wait. And don't touch your damn phone or your computer. Don't get out of bed wait. When your alarm goes off, get up. Repeat for two weeks. Enjoy a better life. lucy_throwaway
Easy A... B...
As a doctor, I learned that earning grades, and learning are two different things. meninistMD
I did my undergrad at a school that didn't really have grades. They were there for purely post grad purposes. What the college focused on was written evaluations from the professor. If you put in minimal effort and got a B it was noted. If you weren't doing great in the class initially but really worked hard at the end of the semester and got a B it was noted. Honestly the best way to learn. mani_mani
Looks Matter!
If you're physically attractive you can get away with a lot of stuff. clee-saan
I have a friend who was a lingerie model - truly, especially beautiful. She had a terrible pregnancy and the only thing that stopped her from puking was eating graham crackers non-stop. Halfway through her pregnancy, she had gained 50 pounds. She didn't look pregnant, just overweight. And she came to me in tears one day, because she was just realizing how MEAN people could be. No one was holding open doors, offering to carry things for her, giving her extra smiles, discounts, whatever. She had lived all her life with the Beauty Bonus and had thought most people were just really nice.
On a side note, I'm not so sure the Beauty Bonus is worth it. My two most beautiful friends are both smart as hell, but one is shy. The difficulty I've seen her have getting people to see past her face is shocking. (Not the lingerie model, who was happy for people to stare at her chest and underestimate her, and then proceeded to run circles around them.)ink_stained
BELIEVE!!
GiphyBelieve in yourself. I know it sounds cheesy but it's true: when you believe in yourself anything is possible because you are no longer bound to the expectations of others. Your life truly becomes your own.
Close, close, close runner up would be awareness over your thoughts and emotions. More awareness, more control, less reactions, more happiness. DepressedBard
Stockpile...
If you work Monday-Friday, spend a small amount of time on Sunday afternoon/evening sorting out your lunch for the week. I batch cook a pot of something and portion it out into 5 containers. It saves a ton of money, it's usually healthier and it saves time having to make something quickly each morning because you can just grab a container out of the fridge and go. DevilRenegade
Who needs to work....
If you are punctual, smartly dressed, and quite friendly, you can actually get pretty far in most jobs without being that good at anything or trying very hard. cold_italian_pizza
A boss of mine once said you can either be good at your job and unfriendly and a pain to work with or you can be bad at your job and great to work with but you can never be both bad at your job and unfriendly, been friendly and good to work with is a massive skill that can really help you progress. Doogie34
Sooner or Later....
GiphyUse the word "soon" instead of "later" with your loved ones or if you are trying to form a new connection with someone. It shows you are interested in talking but currently busy with something.
Eg- Talk to you soon. This doesn't apply to all the scenarios. And it's not creepy or Serial Killery if you follow Rule 1 and 2 (in dating). That's another cheat code in the game of life. Botatitsbest
I can confirm that this doesn't actually work in all scenarios. When your SO asks you when you'll empty the dishwasher, and you say soon... You can only get away with that so many times. MAcsSNAcs
Tip your servers!!
Just be nice, particularly to people in the service industry. Your job, your personal interactions, even your calls into customer service will go 100% easier if you're just nice to people and recognize that they're probably just trying to do their job, not screw you over. trillborg
Fake it to you Make it!
Faking confidence usually leads to actually being more confident. I love the phrase fake it till you make it. Its incredible how much success is a byproduct of just acting confident about whatever you are doing. captainpotatoe
I was planning on asking for a raise later that day and luckily a very belligerent customer came in who was not going to be allowed in. Really had to stand my ground. Stood up tall, made eye contact, and flatly told her no. Had to do a stare down for a moment before she gave up and stormed out. I'd never had to be like that with a customer before and was internally shaking in my boots. My boss was standing behind me the whole time watching how I'd handle it, and once it was over patted me on the back and said I'd done exactly what I was supposed to, and she was impressed. Got the raise. stormycloudysky