When you are distracted by your phone while on a date, there's a word for that - it is called "sidebarring." You're on a date and it's going well, the conversation is engaging, and then you glance at your phone... the next thing you know, you are texting away while the other person awkwardly waits. Much like submarining, love bombing, and cushioning, sidebarring is the latest in horribly rude dating trends that we all need to nip in the bud immediately.
We all sidebar.
If you can't help but be distracted by your phone, it's best that you just put it away when on a date or having a conversation. You're not trying to be rude or ignore the other person, we all do it, but this toxic behavior has become so much of our daily lives that we don't even realize it anymore.
A new study by Facebook into the evolution of digital communication touches on the phenomena of sidebar conversations. They found that 71 percent of the people who took part in their survey admitted to sidebarring, and that they mostly do it at social events or family gatherings.
The study also reported that 82 percent of millennials and 79 percent of teens were likely to indulge in sidebarring, but Facebook found that most of those conversations actually strengthened online friendships.
One thing the Facebook study neglected was gender statistics.
Sidebarring: the rudest thing you can do with a phone https://t.co/b6rJBRLPOP Why doesn't this survey give gender s… https://t.co/3xyoxvS8OY— Sundancin' Paul (@Sundancin' Paul) 1511890420.0
Some people couldn't help but find the inherent humor in sidebarring.
@KarynRuth I'm sorry. What?— Mark C. Crowley (@Mark C. Crowley) 1512852369.0
Is there ever a good time for sidebarring?
@RDub2 My guess: By a raise of hands. Yes, technology is indisputably helpful. But when people use it to dodge (i… https://t.co/CeKiYlM8Ij— Mark C. Crowley (@Mark C. Crowley) 1512831114.0
Text conversations are still real conversations.
@MarkCCrowley @RDub2 conversations with people who are not in the room are also real conversations. #objectpermanence— NOT A HUGE FAN, HONESTLY (@NOT A HUGE FAN, HONESTLY) 1512847749.0
Sidebarring seems to be a major issue in the workplace as well.
@JasonON We've all done it! In response, wise leaders are establishing tech-free time & meetings so real discussions can occur.— Mark C. Crowley (@Mark C. Crowley) 1512829309.0
@MarkCCrowley I would argue "wise managers" not leaders. I had a friend who complained constantly that her team p… https://t.co/EUa3fkpQeS— Jason O. Nungesser (@Jason O. Nungesser) 1512858586.0
Be in the moment. Be present, wherever you are.
@MarkCCrowley We have to get back to being present during meetings, etc.— Sonya Smith-Valentine (@Sonya Smith-Valentine) 1512832246.0
A rose by any other name.
Seems sidebarring is not a new behavior. Before it was called "phubbing" - short for phone snubbing.
@MarkCCrowley Wrong, it's had a name for years. It has been called "Phubbing" or Phone Snubbing. Don't try to make… https://t.co/Zohy2gDKYP— Brett Snider (@Brett Snider) 1512845216.0
Remember: There is no excuse for ignoring someone on a date.
The next time you're out having a romantic evening, leave your phone in your pocket and give the other person your undying attention.
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h/t: The Sun,