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words
When young children get into fistfights or hitting matches, they are often instructed by their parents to "use your words."
Seemingly good advice, it might also prove counterintuitive.
Sometimes the things people say can cause far more pain than a slap on the wrist or a kick in the shin.
What's more, the pain caused by harmful words might never go away.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear the most hurtful things people were ever told in their lives, leading them to ask:
"What are the most hurtful words you’ve ever been told?"
The truth hurts...
"Mum: 'You're just like your f*cking father.'"
"Father: 'You're just like your f*cking mother.'"
"Me: 'well...'"- Dadaballadely"
'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas...'
"When I was young, my mom said holidays are better without me."- Salt-Job
Life Is Precious
"When I was like 13, my mom looked me in the eye and said that I made her wish she lost her battle with cancer."
"F*ckin bitch lmao."- AggressiveViolence
Beauty Always Comes From The Within
"My dad, the person I look up most to in this world, sat me down one day over Christmas this year & told me I have an incredibly annoying voice, and no matter what I do, that won’t change."
"But apparently I just needed to know that, and everyone thinks it but he’s the only one with the guts to tell me."
"A week later, he sat me down again to tell me that he had noticed I had gained weight."
"I gained 10lbs in a year due to stress from finishing my masters degree while working two jobs, and ending my 5 year relationship - I went from 120lb to 130lb, but still trained for and ran my first marathon in that time."
"He told me that he worried about this, as 'the man should never be prettier than the woman' and if I didn’t do something about my weight in the next few months, he would understand why my new beau should leave me."
"Safe to say I’ve been taking some space."- SufficientPoet3028
Teacher's Aren't Immune From Being Bullies
"When I was 14 and freshly in high school I was signing up for a class trip to Spain every class took at the end of the first year."
"My cousin who was in the same class helped me to fill out the form and I turned it in like everybody else."
"A few days later the class teacher was talking about the trip and in front of the whole class of 30 people said that they 'aren't taking me because I'm autistic and on psychiatric pills and I'm unpredictable and dangerous to other students and they don't want to be responsible for me'."
"She said that to me, who's never been in trouble, never had to go to detention and had A's and B's in all of her classes."
"Aside from really f*cking hurtful because I was trying so hard to be a good kid and fit in with everybody else it was humiliating as f*ck."
'She aired out the fact that I was autistic and on antidepressants to my entire class and by the end of the school day the whole school was gossiping about me, because in my country mental health is still really stigmatized.'
"It actually became a catalyst for me stopping caring about fitting in and others opinions of me."
"And what really pushed me to succeed and get out of that hellhole and to an engineering UNI in Denmark."
"That same teacher actually said to my mom if she was sure that she didn't "overdo it" by letting me into a "prestigious high school" because she has worked with thousands of children and she thinks I probably won't amount to anything and will be on disability because I'm too different than other kids."
'So yeah. I left the country and graduated as an engineer and now work for a fortune 500 company and make killer money, have a partner and my own place.'
"F8ck you Mrs. Novotna."- AinoNaviovaat
When You See Yourself In Others...
"'You'll never be loved or cherished because you look like me'."
"'You will never belong anywhere, no one cares about you enough to actually be there for you'."
"'You will be a burden to everyone else'."
'From Dad to 11 year old me after we argued about how he missed my birthday (again).'
"But looking back, I laugh because.... it seemed like he was projecting his own insecurities onto me."
"Lol."- Real-Tone
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"Asked my dad why I didn't have any brothers or sisters."
"Told me 'I don't make the same mistake twice'."- l33tn0ob
Self-Esteem Issues Are Often Because Of Others...
"Your thighs still touch."
"My mother when I said I lost some weight circa 2002."- ButtToucherIRL
Takes One To Know One...
"My girlfriend and I had a kid at 19/20 years old."
"My mother was extremely critical and abusive during the pregnancy and only referred to her grandchild as 'your little mistake'."
"I endured knowing my child would be loved, protected and cared for."
"One day I snapped and called my older sister (who my mother had at 18 and was born three months early with cerebral palsy) a mistake."
"I've always regretted saying that but silver lining; my mother stopped using that phrasing.'
"Btw, my kid is 10 now and I couldn't be more proud of her."
"Also, credit where credit is due, my mother has come around and while I have my own opinions on how good of a mother she is, she has been a really good grandmother."
"I of course didn't call my sister a mistake in front of her and didn't mean it in the slightest."
"It was a petty way to try and show my mother how her words hurt."- BranLD
At Least No One Could Accuse Him Of Nepotism
"When I finished my journeyman electrician's ticket, my dad, whose company I worked for, told me I wasn't good enough to be paid journeyman wage, and that I should go find work at some other company in the city."
"I found another job and did fine, very fine."
"In fact I was routinely surprised at how often my boss would praise me and thank me for my hard work."
"I didn't think too much of my dad's words at the time, but the older I get, the more insane it seems to me to say that to your own son."
"Who the f*ck says that to their own kid?"
"He often wonders why he doesn't have a better relationship with his kids."- mpworth
Lying Like A Rug
"'I haven't been in love with you for about a year and a half, I never got over [the Other Woman], and I've been back in contact with her'."
"I later realized he had just gotten done looking at an apartment with her when we had this conversation."
"Dumped after 14 years together, 5 of them married, over the phone."
"Sniveling coward."- pelvic_kidney
And Did Anyone Benefit?
"'I only stayed with your dad because of you kids'."
"Thanks for the decades of misery."- ashaggyone
Vanity And Jealousy Always Come Hand In Hand
“'You’re so ugly… I was so pretty when I was your age! You should get plastic surgery'.”
"From my mom when I was 8 years old."
"Interestingly, she thinks I’m 'prettier' than her now and dislikes taking pictures with me."- Chance_Wind_9018
But Did She Want To Be A Mother?
"My ex wife told me she never wanted a husband."
'She just wanted a child and didn't want the stigma of having a kid out of wedlock so she married the first guy to come along dumb enough to fall for it."
"'I should have just gotten knocked up and dumped your a**'."
"Our son is 27 and is NC with his mother."- MichiganGeezer
So Much For Moral Support
"My ex came out of a doctor’s appointment where he received very good news from a checkup following a health scare."
"He literally told me 'now I know I’m going to be okay, I can find someone better'."
"We’d been together for 6 years, and stayed together for another 3 until I broke up with him."- tehjmap
We've all said hurtful things we might not actually mean, in the heat of the moment.
Whether or not there was any truth to those words, however, doesn't make the effect they have on others any less painful.