Do you feel like never knowing another peaceful night's sleep ever again, waking up in the wee hours screaming from your very core for the rest of your days? Then have we got the story for you!
Tuesday's major league baseball game between the New York Mets and Miami Marlins had a special guest, sitting right behind home plate: A giant, living Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal box.
Now, this may sound whimsical and fun to you, especially because Cinnamon Toast Crunch is delicious. But, we assure you--with all due respect to Mr. Cinnamon Toast Crunch box--it's straight from the depths of hell.
See for yourself in the video below, if you dare.
A giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch made an appearance at the Marlins vs. Mets game last night. 😳 (🎥 via @MLBONFOX) https://t.co/vuU6YRIkjD— The Sporting News (@The Sporting News) 1631102918.0
Yeesh! Now we want to give that Cinnamon Toast Crunch box the benefit of the doubt, because he could be having some sort of episode. Maybe he just needs medical attention!
Or maybe he is a vortex to the dark side and if you look into his eyes too long the demons inside him steal your soul forevermore. There's literally no way to tell.
In reality, the anthropomorphic cereal box was simply a marketing ploy (or is that just what the forces of darkness want us to think?). Samples of the delicious cinnamon sugar cereal were handed out at Miami's LoanDepot Park during the game and everything--which is almost enough to erase the horrifying image of the cereal box getting up to dance at one point in the video. Truly chilling content.
And what about the poor baseball players? Imagine trying to pitch while having this wild-eyed, demon-addled cereal box staring you down from behind home plate while shaking its cereal box hips? This has to be against MLB rules!
Regardless of the cereal box's intent (which is obviously the ritual sacrifice of anyone who makes eye contact), Twitter was deeply unsettled by its presence.
The chances of being attacked by Cinnamon Toast Crunch are slim...But never zero. https://t.co/8OJazJsS8P— Andrew Francis👑 (@Andrew Francis👑) 1631120580.0
Imagine trying to pitch and you’ve got a giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch man starring you down https://t.co/keus8yfeNC— Certified Sports Cards (@Certified Sports Cards) 1631064892.0
There’s a piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch calling balls and strikes behind home plate during the Mets-Marlins game t… https://t.co/DuBUVlKpRI— Jomboy Media (@Jomboy Media) 1631057691.0
the mets players turning around while they’re at the plate and seeing a gigantic cinnamon toast crunch https://t.co/Yrasw8ClsK— kathleen (@kathleen) 1631056718.0
Does your treachery know no limits @GeneralMills?! https://t.co/GrGgrW9kQd— The 5 Star Man Asa Gray (@The 5 Star Man Asa Gray) 1631120673.0
maybe it's better if fans don't show up to LoanDepot... https://t.co/7DZO8sLyb5— Step-hen (@Step-hen) 1631085968.0
I, for one, welcome our robot-cereal umpire overlords. https://t.co/gXLSjV0G0j— Laura Albanese (@Laura Albanese) 1631058325.0
Me: why is Cinnamon Toast Crunch trending? *clicks on it, sees giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch at Marlins game* Me: https://t.co/lMtAdGT0W5— Caelyn (@Caelyn) 1631067417.0
We wish everyone in Miami a safe passage as they deal with this new local menace. Don't look it in the eye!