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assumptions
"I built a reputation..."
GiphyI built a reputation at my friend's college as the drunk moron who would do and say anything. When my friend came to my college for my graduation none of his friends believed him that I was actually graduating. Realistically I don't drink that much I really only partied when I visited there.
"Seriously..."
That I'm 15.
Seriously... people are constantly knocking on MY door, at MY house, that I pay the bills for, and asking to speak to my parents???
"My younger co-workers..."
GiphyEveryone assumes I'm far more prim and proper than is actually the case. (I'm an older woman with a lot of white hair). My younger co-workers will accidentally swear in front of me, and then turn to me with looks of horror. It's hysterical.
"Nope..."
I'm laid back. Nope, just a nervous wreck whose only coping mechanism is to seize up.
"I'm 34..."
That I'm gay. I'm 34 and I really don't know why but most friends and my dad think I'm gay. Not sexually attracted to men... sorry folks.
"When I wear my glasses..."
GiphyWhen I wear my glasses - that I look like a college professor. That I have a very "teacher-y face".
Usually these days, also that they could have SWORN I was married. In the last 6 months, dozens of people have been legitimately surprised that I am not married. Apparently I seem like I'm married. "You ACT like you're married" they say. I don't know what that means. Might be a nice way of saying old.
That's me: an old, married, straight-laced teacher boy. Definitely. And definitely not a big ol' idiot.
"That I'm..."
That I'm aloof, and possibly somewhat snobby. I'm very shy and fairly emotional.
"That I'm scary."
That I'm scary.
Almost 6ft with dreads.
My GFs parents think I'm a gang banger but I'm reality I'm the complete opposite. Never gotten in a real fight , do good in school, etc.
"In reality..."
GiphyI'm a foreign immigrant coming from some really rich country in West Asia who speaks English really well.
In reality, I'm just a Filipino who can speak English. Take that, Karen.
"That I need a lot of assistance..."
That I need a lot of assistance all the time. While I am physically crippled due to congenital reasons, I am more than capable to taking care of myself with minimal assistance most of the time.