There are people who spend their adolescence and early adulthood dreaming of being a parent.
And those people should have every opportunity to achieve that dream for as long as it remains a life goal.
Then there are people who never feel the pull to be a parent.
But society tends to only ask one group "why."
Repeatedly.
While asking any person that question is rude AF—seriously, don't ask people why they don't have/want children—the anonymous realm of AskReddit is a different environment where people can be honest with few repercussions.
So Redditor Ekudar asked:
"What made you not want to have kids?"
So much work...
"To be honest, I'm too lazy to be a parent."
"Plus I'm terrified of the idea of pregnancy and labor."
- _elisheba_
GiphyKnow your limitations...
"When I realised that having a kid would mean that kid would have me as a parent."
- WhyDoIHaveRules
Not ready...
"This lowkey scared tf out of me. Made me imagine myself being responsible for another human being… and all of their life experiences, and providing for all of their needs, and wants?
"Oh my God. No."
"Kids are an amazing treasure, but you have to be mentally, financially, and emotionally sound for them. Because it’s no longer YOUR life. You can’t transfer your bullsh*t onto them—because they’ll end up dealing with that when they’re older."
Giphy"In an ideal world, I’d love to have a kid. But pregnancy/labor scares me, I’m not mentally ready, not financially prepared, I like my alone time, I do NOT have the patience, I’m far too selfish, I can’t cook, and honestly—I love my cat more."
"In my head it seems nice. But that’s not reality. And that’s not fair to a human life. The maternal instinct is there, but my own selfish wants/needs right now outweigh any want for a kid."
- Abandoned_Asylum
Never my dream...
"I never decided to not have kids. Kind of assumes I wanted some then something changed my mind."
"I don't want kids because I never have wanted kids. I've never felt any longing or fondness for babies. No part of having children ever appealed to me."
"I don't feel the need to force myself to have kids despite all the pressure from family and friends, so I made sure I never had any."
- LakotaGrl
Giphy$$$...
"I'm broke and I hate noise."
- quantum_ice
Sssshhhh...
"The sheer fact that I enjoy peace and quiet is enough.
"I love my godson and would die to protect him but I don’t want him living with me (godfather responsibilities aside)."
- HellfireKyuubi
So much to worry about...
"Lack of freedom especially to travel, constantly worrying about someone else/being responsible for them, the state of the world, my own mental health stuff that can be genetic, knowing pregnancy is incredibly dangerous, having 4 friends very recently have their first children and seeing them miserable, the idea of forever being a mom."
"It's all overwhelming.
"Plus I see kids everyday with behavioral and mental health problems. I kinda just don't want to risk that being my kid."
- AmeslJ55
...when people who probably shouldn't have had kids do...
"Ugh. Teaching them to read, acting as a lifeguard any time we were around water, trying to patch their wounds or reassure them school isn’t so scary…"
"My brother is dyslexic and my sister has a learning disability. I taught them both to write their names and would always help them with homework before working on my own."
"I don’t recall my parents being anywhere nearby in 95% of my childhood memories."
"I love kids but the stress of raising kids as a kid has deterred me from ever even considering that sort of responsibility again."
- livelaughween
"My mother's mental illness left the lion's share of supervision and housekeeping to me at the expense of my own education (we also had not nearly enough resources for the number of children)."
"The despair of those years turned me off ever being responsible for a child again. I love my siblings with all my heart, but they nearly broke me."
- PixieDrifter
Not my dream, Part 2...
"Honestly, no idea."
"Just never envisioned a future with children."
- MultipleHipFlasks
...and Part 3.
"The idea of having kids never entered my mind, unless other people brought it up.
"I married a woman who had mostly grown kids, so it was just a couple years of taking care of them and that was it."
"I have grandkids now, and every time they visit, I'm grateful I never had kids of my own. My stepkids are exhausted, broke financially, and always on the go."
"I'm more than happy to sit in my chair, watch movies, play video games, and max chill."
- Jeremy_Smith75
Society pressures people to procreate, but if it's not for you, then you do you.
Just say no to unwanted children.
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