Married People Divulge What They Realized Only After Tying The Knot

It's Not All Romantic

"Marriage isn’t just about the person you want to have fun with. It’s also about the person you want to spend $10,000 on a new furnace with, or go to a funeral with, or get a flat tire with."

"Your spouse should make your way in life easier, especially during the hard times."

- aggressivelysingle

Wedding Invitation Drama

"I don’t get upset if I don’t make the cut for someone else’s wedding, that s**t is expensive."

- coconutmama77

"I had one wedding where I got pretty ticked off about not being invited, to be honest."

"One of the bridesmaids at my wedding got married a few years after we did. She was out in Baltimore, and we are UK-based, but she wanted my wife as her bridesmaid too, so we of course flew over. We were the only ones not local."

"In the rehearsal the day before, one of the groomsmen wasn't there, so I stood in for him."

"Then later that night, I was told that the wedding was a small affair and that only my wife was invited to the ceremony. I would be only an evening guest. They just neglected to mention that on the invite."

"It caused massive ripples among the guests because there was no reason for snubbing me like that."

"I really liked the groom and he was in bits trying to deal with the psycho fit his bride was throwing about everything, so I ended up just doing as told so as not to cause an issue for him on his day."

"Years later, she asked my wife on a video call if we wanted to come visit them sometime soon, and her husband said to her, 'You're kidding, right? You know he doesn't like you after the wedding s**t, right?'"

"She was shocked to learn that I thought she was an a**hole, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Wind_Yer_Neck_In

The Wrong Partner

​"Bad marriage does way more harm than being alone."

- rosiebunnies

"When I left my first husband for being an irredeemable a**hat, I truly thought I’d sworn off marriage forever. But here I am, 14 years into my second marriage, and I couldn’t be more thankful that I was wrong about marriage being a bad thing."

- -comfypants

"I’ve had my own bad relationships. Then I started to look at my parents' unhealthy relationship but then saw that my brother actually has a really good one, and that helped put things into perspective. Some people should be together, and others should not."

- Lancefree

The Value of Disagreements

"That true partnership means conflict is inevitable but productive."

"Part of me knew we'd disagree, but I took some time to know the best way to work through it. It's not being a doormat and it's not being right every time."

- d20sapphire

The Importance of Alone Time

"How much I NEED alone time..."

- blacksweater

"We live in a house larger than we need. So we each have hobby areas and our own bathroom in addition to general s**t we don't do together. Our friends think it's weird, but we are strong as f**k, and their relationships didn't survive the pandemic."

- GoldenBarracudas

Secret Personalities

"People can be really, REALLY good at hiding who they truly are."

"People keep telling me I must have missed signs. I think they just haven’t encountered people that can change on a dime like my ex-husband."

- InstantElla

Increased Income

"How much easier it is to afford things as a joint couple with two incomes."

- Ornery-Cattle1051

"To me, this is one of the few downsides to being single. I like my single life but do not like my single income."

- SnoopsMan

Constant Forgiveness

"Marriage is a constant exercise in forgiveness."

"Be sure you love them, like for real."

"Luckily for me, I do."

- pussinbootskitty

Marrying the Family

"They say you marry their family. You absolutely do."

"One day I was a girlfriend, and the next I was holding my husband's grandmother's hand while she died. I was dragged into family fights the likes of which I'd never seen. I've been loved and weaponized and defended like I could never fathom."

"I laughed at people saying they married the whole family. I was so wrong."

- IHeartChipSammiches

"You put this into words so beautifully. I never would have imagined how much I love his family as my own, even though they bug the crap out of me sometimes, lol (laughing out loud)."

- chipmunk_butt

Communication is Key

"That good communication is vital to a relationship."

"The ability to have a calm, rational conversation over any topic is something to strive for. The trust that the two of you can talk about anything in a safe environment is key. The ability to be honest and open with each other."

"Communication, y'all. It works."

- agharta-astra

Ditch the Highway

"You spent X amount of years doing things your way. So has your new spouse. Just because it's not your way doesn't mean it's wrong."

"It's okay to compromise, but it's also okay to realize that some things may come down to My Way, Their Way, and Our Way."

"My husband and I learned a lot from each other but 15 years later, we have never, NEVER compromised on how to fold laundry so we just each do our own. I don't mind doing his, but I'll fold it my way. He'll easily wash and dry mine, but he folds his way. It's nice that the laundry is done, but then I had to refold everything."

"For those wondering, I fold shirts in a tri-fold rectangle and he does some weird square thing. Incompatible in our dresser drawers."

- Scucer

Hands and Height

"I have to add (this may sound bizarre) that if one of you is left-handed and the other is right-handed, you will most certainly run into some problems."

"It seems ridiculous, but where you place things that you need multiple times on a daily basis comes down to space and which hand you use (e.g., dish soap, hand soap, etc. Basically anything on a counter in a kitchen or a bathroom)."

"This also applies to height differences. Sometimes we really, literally have to find the in-between, or accept that one or the other will be doing it for themselves and it’s not insulting. It’s just really for the best sanity of us both."

- HGLiveEdge

Cherish the Time

"I must say, for me, it would be Time. Time moves SOOOOO very slow, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOO very fast."

"I married my wife yesterday."

"We closed on our first house yesterday."

"We had our boys YESTERDAY."

"I finished our basement with my own two hands (and my best friends’ hands) yesterday."

"We sold our first home yesterday."

"My father passed away YESTERDAY."

"My boys started high school and middle school yesterday."

"I just made an @ss of myself tonight and needed to apologize to my wife! (This actually was tonight.)"

"Seriously, everything feels like yesterday, but it is moving by so quickly. I’m just trying to hold on, thankfully, she’s here with me."

- pencerules

Marriage Plus Kids

"Everyone was wrong, marriage changed nothing."

"But children... Children change everything."

- korinth86

"100% agree. We lived together before we got married. Absolutely nothing in our relationship changed. But kids. Oh lord, that changes everything."

- StannVeal

Medically Responsible

"It changes who can kick whom out of the hospital room. And that was why I got married."

"My husband got married for the feel’s and the frilly stuff. I got married so he/we inherit each other's stuff and get the final say on end-of-life stuff (it was a rough couple of years, I lost a lot of family in a short span)."

"Can all that be done separately from marriage? YEP. Is it viewed as seriously? Nope. Can it be done as easily and in one fell swoop? Nope."

"(This, more than the feelings, to me, is why people should be able to marry whom they choose, regardless of gender.)"

- sageautumn

Right in the Feels

"I like saying, 'My wife…' even more than I thought I would."

"We’ve each been married before, and we were together for 7 years before we got around to getting married (we knew where it was going very early). I didn’t think it would feel like that big of a deal to say, but… I love my wife, and the experience of referring to her is enough to make me smile."

- BetweenCoffeeNSleep

While there were some tough realities mixed into this list, most of the experiences shared here were heartwarming.

Marriage might be diminished by some to be just a piece of paper, but for those who take the symbolism seriously, there is some real happiness in store for them.