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Social etiquette was a primary concern for Tilly Hokianga, or @tilly_hokianga on TikTok, an Australian woman who was living in the United States. In a five-part TikTok series, Hokianga raised some eyebrows when she pointed out some of the differences she'd noticed, and did not like, in the U.S.
One of the biggest calls for debate came from the first video in the series, which she had titled:
"Things that send me as an Australian living in the U.S."
Most of what the TikToker noted were not unusual, including the amount of sugar found in American food, the quality of the water, the sugary cereal varieties, and the general lack of education in geography and world languages.
But the one that drew the most attention was about manners and specifically how Americans respond to 'Thank you.'
"I don't understand. Talking to an American, you say, 'Thank you,' and they're always just like, 'Mm-hmm.'"
"I just said, 'Thank you.' You should say, 'You're welcome,' or 'It's all good,' or 'No worries,' not f**king 'Mm-hmm.'"
You can watch the video here:
Many TikTokers in Hokianga's comment section came for her, asking how many states she had visited before drawing these conclusions, as mannerisms, as well as food and water, would vary based on the location in the country.
But one TikToker, Millie of @rosegoldmillie, wanted to address Hokianga's mannerisms concern specifically.
In her own video, Millie did her best to describe a different perspective on the use of 'Mm-hmm.' She explained that it wasn't meant in a dismissive way, but rather that the action had truly been no trouble at all.
"You're welcome," she argued, had taken on a hidden meaning of manipulation and entitlement for millennials, which was not something they were eager to pay forward.
Millie described how she had tried to shake this feeling when she spent time in Australia.
"Someone would say, 'Thank you,' and I would say, 'Yep! Oh, uh, I mean, 'You're welcome!'"
"Because to me, it's kind of rude. Like, it's not rude, but saying, 'Yep' and 'Sure' is the equivalent to saying, 'No problem,' and that is more polite in America than saying, 'You're welcome.'"
"When you say, 'You're welcome,' there's an implication in our brains that says, 'I did you a favor, and I deserve a thank you.' But when we say, 'Mm-hmm,' or like, 'Sure,' it's this implication of 'Of course I would do that for you. I don't deserve a thank you, like, it was the least I could do.'"
You can watch the video here:
The video quickly garnered attention, with viewers thankful to Millie for putting their feelings into words.
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Some supported Millie's sentiments by sharing their go-to responses to 'Thank you.'
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It's unclear if Hokianga has viewed Millie's response video or if she has taken the sentiments surrounding 'Mm-hmm' or 'No problem' into concern in her conversations since then.
But her now-five-part series continued with Hokianga's complaints piling up, with concerns including candy, roads, coffee, healthcare, the infamous gaps in public restroom stalls, and getting gasoline.
While commenters have requested additional videos, it's unclear if she will continue the series, but it would be interesting to hear her thoughts on the feedback she has received from some Americans, including Millie's thoughts on loaded social etiquette.