Dad Decides To Have A Little 'Alone Time' At His In-Laws' House, But Awkwardly Forgets About The Baby Monitor
George Orwell depicted a dystopian society where Big Brother watches our every move in his novel 1984.
It had generations of readers gripped in fear over the likelihood of relinquishing their privacy in real life.
In a way, we are already there, but it is our own doing.
A father of an eight-month-old became a victim of technology and had no one but himself to blame.
He shared an embarrassing story on Reddit involving his father-in-law, a baby monitor and masturbation.
Original poster "lfcynwalfc" posted in the "Today I F****d Up" subreddit in which users admit to doing "something ridiculously stupid" in an attempt to commiserate with others.
He prefaced the post by explaining the incident occurred back in December and it took until very recently to decide whether or not to share his story.
"So a little background first. My wife and our 8 month old son recently bought our first home which needed a lot of work so we moved in with her parents for 12 weeks whilst the renovations were ongoing."
"Anyway, one Saturday my wife said she was going shopping with her her mother and took the baby with her to allow myself and my father in law to watch the football on telly in some peace."
"20 minutes before the match was due to start I excused myself to go for a quick shower."
He justified needing a little self love due to a lack of "action."
"Now given that we are staying with her parents I haven't seen much action of late so when I arrived to an empty bedroom I thought I'd use the time to watch a quick video on the phone and have a little 'alone time.'"
"One quick video was enough and I was showered and back down with time to spare before kick off."
"I returned to an empty sitting room however and began to wonder where my father in law was when, about 10 minutes into the game, I heard a door close upstairs though the baby monitor which I now realised was sitting on the coffee table on full volume!"
"He definitely heard me having my few minutes of alone time!"
The father-in-law's unspoken acknowledgement was deafening in the long weeks that followed.
"The worst part was we had to stay there for another 6 very awkward weeks with very little eye contact made between myself and the father in law."
"We've now moved in to our new home so I'm hoping we can keep the grandparent visits to a minimum for awhile."
Users amused by the OP's story offered ways in which the father-in-law could have dealt with the aural assault before the thread devolved into amateur comedy hour.
"He could've just turned it down." – 303_matt
"Or offered to help" – UrdnotChivay
"Give this guy a hand" – UrdnotChivay
"Get a load off this guy..." – subclassy
"Cum on bro? Just relax and have fun with it." – Spider_Dude
"I can't believe this thread is fappening." – JarlAxleRose
"Jizz like reddit to get off the week on a great start." – Spider_Dude
"opens the door Are ya winning, son-in-law?" – JarlAxleRose
"OP must feel like a real freeloader." – justamie
"In this scenario I picture the FIL as the Kool Aid man" – vrtigo1
"Nice :) you should take pride."
"You asserted your dominance by spraying your man seed at your in-laws."
"Achievement unlocked: Spunk in enemy land" – Weelki
"Are you a big moaner? I hope you're not a big moaner but I also hope you are." – watch7maker
After the last comment, the OP followed up his post with a clarification.
"For those querying whether I moan etc. Are missing the point. I was lying naked on the bed with the camera of the monitor pointing directly at the middle of the bed given that's where the little man sleeps. He likely saw and heard (the video!)"
Another user shared a similar story as a cautionary tale that started and ended with the baby monitor.
"My in-laws and I don't get along."
"My wife and I were sitting in our kiddo's room and he went out to go play with grandparents (my in-laws) and wife and I talked about a few things, including that we were pissed off that in-laws continuously break boundaries and bring things into our house that we don't want or need."
"Walk out and realized the monitor was on though the volume was low and the house was loud and we weren't talking loudly, so hoping it wasn't heard."
Baby monitors can bring parents much relief. Just don't forgot you're also being watched.