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pooping
And apparently, Detrick has been using Guyette's property as an outhouse for years. We've all heard of the "political divide" but this is a bit much.
Guyette addressed the incident on his Facebook page with a status that truly inspires a double take.
"An eventful early morning. Finally caught the man who's been shi*ting in our front yard for the past ten years."
Detrick was finally caught after Guyette saw him defecating in the yard around 3:15 am, and called 911.
Guyette shared the good news on Facebook.
Matthew J Guyette/Facebook
Guyette confronted Detrick, a former high school teacher, who simply got up, pulled up his pants and casually walked away, which is a level of brazen you simply don't see often.
Guyette was able to tell police what Detrick was wearing and which direction he went in, so they were able to apprehend him shortly after. Detrick at first denied the incident, then copped to just urinating, then finally admitted to defecating, but only after being released by police.
Crafty, this Detrick.
Detrick told police he's "a Trump man" and Guyette is a Biden supporter. He's been dropping Republican twosies in Guyette's Democrat yard for years.
This resulted in one of the cops writing in his police report:
"This leads me to believe this incident is politically motivated."
No, the officer's name is not Captain Obvious, but we thank him for his service in making this story even more ridiculous.
Matthew J Guyette/Facebook
In the comments of his Facebook post, Guyette confirmed the front yard toiletry started during Obama's first administration.
Matthew J Guyette/Facebook
Guyette also theorized Detrick has a drinking problem, which seems pretty on-brand given what we know.
He shared they new it wasn't a dog because of Detrick's choice of toilet paper.
Matthew J Guyette/Facebook
Naturally, people on social media had a field day with this sh*tty mystery.
Joy Roseberry/Facebook
Julie Annette/Facebook
Lisa Graham/Facebook
John S. Sherman/Facebook
Thomas Jeremy/Facebook
Stan Anderson Facebook
Paul Czupryk/Facebook
Detrick's next sh*tty day is set for June 8.
That's the day he'll be arraigned for making a stink about his neighbor's politics.
