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The impressive roster proves that the measure of a moving performance is not always marked by the accolades.
But this dude just gave the performance of his life and got his just desserts, or in this case, a comped dinner. He feigned being stood up in a restaurant, elicited sympathy from both staff and patrons and got a free steak.
And the winner of tonight's dinner is...@baconflavoring!
Steven, a.k.a. @baconflavoring or according to his Twitter handle "Phteven," framed his anecdote as a rhetorical question:
"if I went to Outback Steakhouse by myself tonight and asked for a table for 2, then got progressively sadder as the night went on alone, do you think they'd give me my steak for free?"
if I went to Outback Steakhouse by myself tonight and asked for a table for 2, then got progressively sadder as the… https://t.co/dS3CuZyoRP— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550183794.0
He posed his challenge for the social experiment and accepted it.
okay friendly update - I’m actually going to try this— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550194255.0
I just got here. there is a 45 minute wait for a table for 2. GOOD THING I CALLED AHEAD!— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550195344.0
The ruse began even before being seated.
there’s still a 10ish minute wait though. “oh that’s okay, this works perfectly - she said she was running a bit late anyway”— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550195380.0
Party of two, electric boogaloo!
got my table https://t.co/8KdypncH31— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550195865.0
His costume set the scene.
This guy is going full-on method with his performance.
in case you were wondering whether I’m taking this seriously... y’all. i wore a suit jacket. https://t.co/Xlae1xXQxi— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550196552.0
Getting that momentum going.
“well I remember she said she loves chardonnay so why don’t we start with a glass of that” https://t.co/JthgEouLqS— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550197070.0
Cue dialogue.
i just pretended to leave a voicemail saying “I’m here, let me know when you’re on your way” as my waiter walked by— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550197199.0
His date sure is running way behind.
She's coming though, or so his server believes.
finished the first loaf of bread https://t.co/2BnCMMm2I4— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550197384.0
Props – check.
when I parked, I took the jumper cables in my trunk out of the bag they came in and stuff some shoebox paper I had… https://t.co/f0CNCV4sRC— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550197584.0
(The packaging could've been more convincing.)
“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love” https://t.co/juSnmtXNmn— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550197616.0
All that is missing is a maudlin score.
i mean there can’t be a sadder image than a guy in a suit at Outback Steakhouse alone on Valentine’s Day sittin… https://t.co/CcHVShTJnn— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550198123.0
the second log of bread came. didn’t cut it. took it to the face and finished it in less than 60 seconds. https://t.co/SChl6Rfw4w— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550198436.0
He's coming upon the final act.
it’s 9:45. the kitchen closes in 15 minutes. i’m going to wait until my waiter comes by and i’m gonna finish the wi… https://t.co/2C6CZzwcMC— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550198717.0
“hello darkness my old friend” https://t.co/2i6rQS260j— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550198945.0
aaaaaaaand it’s gone https://t.co/6NUoT9k9SS— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550198993.0
Looks like he could get away without buying his dinner because other witnesses are buying his performance.
i ordered my steak. this dude is walking on EGGSHELLS around me. i’ve never seen someone scoop glassware as smoothl… https://t.co/mNc3Gpepbm— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550199300.0
the waiter just talked to the bartender. i’m sitting in a booth at the bar and every single person within eye range… https://t.co/1sP9bIMZee— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550199564.0
One for the demo reel.
audio of a fake voicemail I just left in earshot of anyone still at the bar https://t.co/LfIttzT3u6— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550199817.0
The best scene partner that was never there.
the menu is gone but my forlorn lover lives on in the form of water, silverware, and a lone plate. i have named he… https://t.co/fbCMAzkX7w— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550200143.0
Backstory always helps to flesh out the scene.
Katherine is a consultant at Deloitte. She lives in Arlington, that’s why I chose this spot. We met at the grocery… https://t.co/BQWG0zUOsS— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550200288.0
The food is here.
She is not.
steak’s here. blue cheese crumbles melted on top. restaurant’s closed. how long can I stare into the distance befor… https://t.co/V89cQkn6A4— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550200539.0
Cue – waterworks.
i have started crying.— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550200701.0
Going for it is gross.
But it's worth it!
i dropped a piece of mac n cheese on the floor next to me. picked it up with my hand and ate it— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550200845.0
10 minutes have gone by. haven’t touched the steak. the restaurant closed 25 minutes ago https://t.co/rA2Ni6kaQt— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550201109.0
i still haven’t gotten a check. i KNOW this waiter is getting ready to clock out for the night.— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550201292.0
So what's the final result?
UPDATE: a couple at the bar paid for my meal for me. this mission? SUCCESSFUL.— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550201679.0
While he successfully toyed with people's emotions by pulling a fast one that night, he tried to redeem himself by paying it forward.
as a thank you to that couple who bought my dinner, I’ve donated $50 to ACLU. spread love y’all.— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550201779.0
https://t.co/xG5whgFocK— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550201898.0
@baconflavoring/Twitter
His server benefited, as well.
i took all my food to go. all. of. it. ate three bites of mac n cheese and never once touched the steak. my mans ga… https://t.co/mDD76ZxZdk— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550202028.0
Katherine may have just missed out on her future husband. thanks for following along y’all - glad I could enterta… https://t.co/TPkdmafxhp— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550202481.0
one last thing - the waiter came to clean my table as I left. he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me dead in the… https://t.co/n3dU2hqd5m— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550202580.0
Now that his operation is exposed, he killed Outback with kindness.
@Outback pls don’t get mad at me for this I love your steak so much— Phteven (@Phteven) 1550202910.0
Twitter gave a standing ovation for his excellent performance.
@baconflavoring @Outback Get this cat free steak.....FO LIFE! https://t.co/zYeSLoc0eU— Cole Wright (@Cole Wright) 1550213238.0
@baconflavoring @Outback I salute you sir! Well played and great job with the donation too. Waiter deserves a medal— UKnowMeAsMark (@UKnowMeAsMark) 1550224327.0
These things do happen.
@baconflavoring @Outback I used to work here and one time my table was a blind date and his date “left for the bath… https://t.co/GJZ8pku8gX— S. (@S.) 1550224941.0
He may not be single much longer.
@baconflavoring @Outback i live in dc and would love to go on a real date with you to outback (or anywhere), you ha… https://t.co/7JpiFDEq7N— Danielle Sakowitz (@Danielle Sakowitz) 1550205230.0
This story has a twist.
Karen's real whereabouts were revealed.
@baconflavoring @Outback Karen didnt tell you? She was with me.— Jeff G (@Jeff G) 1550239494.0
Happy (belated) Valentine's Day, I guess?