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The CPAC Stage Is Getting Roasted Hard For Looking Like, Well, A Giant Penis
Well, the conservatives are up to their old tricks again, making themselves a national laughingstock by making unforced errors so obvious a child could have pointed them out.
The newest headdesk moment comes from the Conservative Political Action Committee conference in Dallas, Texas over the weekend. You're probably assuming the most embarrassing moment was former Republican President Donald Trump's speech, right?
Close, but no cigar. Because he was quite literally upstaged by the stage itself, which is for some reason, as you can see below, shaped like a giant penis.
The CPAC stage does look like something else though.pic.twitter.com/sYWCI5nJ0l— PatriotTakes \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 (@PatriotTakes \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8) 1625862331
Now, we want to give credit where it's due: At least a big ol' wang is an improvement over last year's stage, which was a thinly veiled--and stomach-turning--tribute to the Nazi SS, the paramilitary organization in charge of enforcing Hilter's racial policy and running the concentration camps during the Holocaust, among other duties.
It seems CPAC went for sophomoric silliness this year instead of an open celebration of fascistic mass murder. It seems even conservatives are feeling a bit more light-hearted this year!
But COME ON. Is there not one person involved with the planning of CPAC with, you know, functioning eyes? Nobody at any point took a look at this design and was like, "Guys the dais is literally positioned on a dickhead, can we get another pass at this? The jokes write themselves." The mind reels.
In any case, the design was a fitting one for a conference in which attendees cheered against the vaccine, subjected attendee Caitlyn Jenner to a vile transphobic attack and served as a mainstage showcase for former President Trump to once again reiterate his claims of election fraud in 2020. Total dick moves.
And on Twitter, of course, people couldn't help but roast CPAC to a crisp for this way-too-on-the-nose gaffe.
\u201cDick it is, then!\u201d— \u2620\ufe0f Carrie \u2620\ufe0f (@\u2620\ufe0f Carrie \u2620\ufe0f) 1625863928
Last year they were compensating for fascism. This year it\u2019s something else\u2026pic.twitter.com/uCy5qbVNrV— Tony (@Tony) 1625878073
Just as accurate a symbol for them as the last one.— Wino1885 (@Wino1885) 1625862362
CPAC 2021 (July)pic.twitter.com/cN4a6zRp3y— - \u2013 \u2014\u2022 Kelley \u2022\u2014 \u2013 - (@- \u2013 \u2014\u2022 Kelley \u2022\u2014 \u2013 -) 1625878354
pic.twitter.com/W8ZQs5lx36— Beki \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 (@Beki \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8) 1625866290
There's no way the person who designed this stage didn't know what they were doing.https://twitter.com/patriottakes/status/1413595192075063297\u00a0\u2026— DomDom (@DomDom) 1625870948
They do like to dream, don\u2019t they?https://twitter.com/patriottakes/status/1413595192075063297\u00a0\u2026— The True American (@The True American) 1625877509
Perfect shape for a bunch of dickheads.https://twitter.com/patriottakes/status/1413595192075063297\u00a0\u2026— Jillymo\ud83e\ude70*vaxxed*I miss Mom\ud83d\ude22*\u264a\ud83d\ude37\ud83e\udd88\ud83c\udfc8\ud83c\udfc0 (@Jillymo\ud83e\ude70*vaxxed*I miss Mom\ud83d\ude22*\u264a\ud83d\ude37\ud83e\udd88\ud83c\udfc8\ud83c\udfc0) 1625876474
CPAC: Trust us, we\u2019re not Nazis. We\u2019re just dicks.https://twitter.com/patriottakes/status/1413595192075063297\u00a0\u2026— Brett Meiselas (@Brett Meiselas) 1625866032
3-1/2\u201d of dangling fury.https://twitter.com/patriottakes/status/1413595192075063297\u00a0\u2026— GET OUT OF MY WAY! \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 (@GET OUT OF MY WAY! \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8) 1625871937
We look forward to seeing whatever farcical and easily avoidable mess the CPAC planners come up with for next year's stage.