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men and women reveal
Content Warning: Menstruation, Feminine Hygiene, Sexual Harrassment
We've all heard the saying that you can't know what another person is going through without walking a mile in their shoes.
It's actually much more complicated than walking in their shoes. It would mean taking up their living situation and experiencing their mind to really get a grip on the life they're living.
But there are some life experiences that could only be understood by changing your sex, as well.
Redditor Unfair_Quantity1413 asked:
"What are some things that are normal to women but are mind-blowing to men?"
One Word: Menstruation
"Walking around acting normal while you’re bleeding, fatigued, cramping, and more."
"If someone was experiencing those symptoms as a result of anything else, they’d be on sick leave or at least communicating to people how they’re unwell."
"But nope, suck it up and go about your day like your uterus isn’t trying to murder you."
- GirlisNo1
In Danger
"À friend of mine called me because she was stranded in a dodgy part of town and needed to just have someone on the phone with her for comfort while she waited for her friend."
"Men kept talking to her and she kept telling me how uncomfortable she was. Random dudes just constantly blowing kisses and coming to talk to her. One dude even tried to take her phone from her to talk to me."
"I've been in that part of town, but I'm 6'3 and reasonably athletic. My experience of it was completely different. It was crazy. I could feel through the phone how vulnerable she felt, which I always knew was how she felt but I had never actually felt it before. Hearing her fend off aggressive men was so nerve-wracking."
- Professional_Still15
Clothing Shopping
"A dress that is XXL is an entirely different size than 2X."
- RilohKeen
"What's the difference? I vaguely recall something about the numbered X being wider overall."
- Icymountain
"XL, XXL, etc are measured by sizing up from straight sizes. In other words, they’re taking a regular size six and adding a certain amount of fabric to get to each next size up, all the way to XL, XXL. But 2XL, 3XL. etc are plus sizes, and are measured up in size from a plus size fit model."
"Like, they take a plus size 16 and add a specific amount of fabric to go up each size. You can tell the difference between XXL and 2XL pretty clearly, especially with XXL being shorter (shirts) and smaller armholes."
"BUT if you order from Amazon, none of that matters. If you’re a 2XL in real life, order the AMAZON 5X and it’ll still be too small. If you know, you know."
- Beneficial-Safe-2142
Birth Control
"IUDs are inserted without any kind of anesthetic. If you're lucky, they warn you to take some Advil beforehand. Then they grab your cervix with metal tongs and force it open."
- ca77ywumpus
"I was swearing uncontrollably during the procedure, cried, was close to passing out for 30 minutes, and felt sick for the rest of the day. It was the most pain I've ever been in. I remember being so p**sed off at the doctor for downplaying how painful it could be during our original discussion about getting one. 'A pinch and some pressure,' my a**."
- ConnasaurusRex
"I feel like I'm constantly being gaslighted by the medical community. Mine went sideways and had to be pulled out, they told me it wouldn't hurt and it was the most pain I've ever felt in my entire life."
"I was on the pill and was experiencing insane mood swings - my doctor told me it's not possible and prescribed me an anti-psychotic instead. I went off the pill and my mood swings completely stopped."
"I don't even know where to go from here."
- MoreShoe2
Pain Preparation
"I have learned that when my doc said, 'It will hurt a little,' that it was going to hurt a lot."
"The doc saying, 'You won't feel a thing' means, 'It's going to hurt, but only for a second.'"
"'It will hurt a little, you'll want to prep by taking some ibuprofen,' means, 'It's going to be blindingly painful, be prepared to scream.'"
"'It's going to hurt,' means, 'We are going to have to knock you out for this procedure because it will be so painful.'"
- beepboopimajorp
The Lines Are Real, Though
"That sometimes there are lines inside women's bathrooms."
"I once went to the bathroom just to pee and came out around 10 minutes after. My male friends asked why I took so long. I said because the line was long. They laughed at me and accused me of lying."
- haikela
Toilet Paper Budgets
"The amount of toilet paper used."
- Infn8Jst
"For sure. When I was single, one pack (24 rolls) would last me six or months easily. Once my fiance moved in... well, my toilet paper budget went up a LOT. It's okay, she's SO worth it."
- Confident-Skin-6264
Pockets!!
"Nonexistent or useless pockets in clothes."
- PrairieGrrl5263
"This is a big one!"
"That’s why if a woman finds a dress she likes that ALSO has good pockets, you better believe that she’s gonna show ‘em to ya!"
- mostlycatsnquilts
"My wife was asking what to do with her car key when she was running and I said, 'Oh, just put it in your pocket.'"
"She looked at me funny, and I was like, ' You know, the little pocket in your shorts? They all have one!'"
"Turns out they don't. Every single pair of my running shorts has a pocket. Not a single pair of hers does."
- Engineer9
The Birthing Process
"I can’t believe nobody said this, but birthing. I tried imagining a human growing in my belly. Feeling the baby move around and your body changing. Then the thought of knowing that you have to extract this human from your body. It was terrifying. I salute you!"
- halfbreed_prince
Skin Care Routines
"Skin care in general. My girlfriend uses lotion even for her feet! I barely use one for my face, and she does it every night."
- janeffs
"When I was dating a girl in my early 20s, her brother used a bunch of lotion, and he still looked younger in his 30s, and it made me start using lotion regularly after that."
"I'm 33 now and I got complimented last year that I don't look as old as I am so maybe it's worth it, lol (laughing out loud)."
- RODjij
"I finally asked my wife to set me up with a skincare routine. I told her I would do whatever, I just didn’t know where to start."
"Now I use toner, serum, lotion, and eye cream after every shower, and I look AMAZING!"
- CQFF
Locking Doors
"Locking your car immediately when you get in it, before seatbelt or putting the key in."
- fieldsofjade
"This fully saved me one night. In the US Pacific Northwest, it gets dark really early in the winter. I needed to find places to walk my dog in the evening that were well-lit (whenever I was tired of just walking her on my street), so I sometimes drove to areas that I know are public and well-lit."
"One time, I was climbing back into my car and had just closed and locked the doors when this guy appeared out of nowhere and tried to open my door. But he couldn't because it was locked. He tried to play it off and get me to roll down my window like he had something to tell me."
"I held up my pepper spray to the window, and he finally backed off and ran away. It was 8:00 PM."
"ALWAYS LOCK YOUR CAR DOORS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, Y'ALL."
- maizzy
The Baby Assumptions
"Maybe a little more wholesome but as a girl, people just put babies in my lap."
"Like, I was at a party and commented about how cute a baby was to some lady I didn’t know. And I got to hold the baby for a while. I was literally asked if I wanted to feed her or change her."
"From a complete stranger."
- neaning-cleaning
Hair Styling
"The amount of time it takes to do hair. Don’t get me wrong, it looks amazing when done, but the process of a woman getting her hair ready to go out is mind-blowing to me."
"Washing, drying, styling, etc."
"I’m sure I’ve completely butchered the process, but I love the finished product and don’t mind waiting."
- JD054
Travel Planning
"I had a woman co-worker planning some business travel for herself and she was deliberately avoiding layover stops that were past a certain length."
"I asked her why and she said that if she had to eat at the airport alone in a business outfit, she would be guaranteed to be propositioned even if she kept her head down in her book or laptop. A lot of married men too looking for a quick airport fling."
"Blew me away as I had never even thought that would be a thing."
- Mysterious-Lesions
It's wild to think about how different the lives often are between men and women, as well as how hard it can be to imagine someone going through some of these things.
But the most important thing is to listen and to believe. Like some of the men in this conversation demonstrated, they can learn more about women's experiences by listening to them and not explaining them away, and women can do the same for men.