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Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Publicly Telling Her 'Obsessed' Half-Sister To Stay Out Of Her Family's Life
Redditor "OtherwiseArm3" is an artist with a popular social media following.
She prefers to keep her personal life private, but the past—involving a bitter half-sister—caught up with her.
The Original Poster (OP) had no choice but to publicly defend herself on one of her posts after the younger half-sister attacked her and made unfair accusations about abandonment.
"My half sister has a weird obsession with me. She stalks me on my social media profile and acts like a deranged ex," wrote the OP.
"I'm pretty popular on Instagram, where I also post my art, so making it private is not an option."
"She is 17, and I haven't seen her in years. The last time I saw her, she was 12 and it was at my grandfather's funeral."
Resentment traced back to when the OP discovered that her father had an extramarital affair while her mother was on her death bed.
"My biological father had an affair with one of my mum's friends when she was dying. It was sick and my poor mum found out about it 5 days before she passed away."
"The other woman was already pregnant with my half sister."
Different living arrangements enabled the OP to keep her distance from her other siblings.
"I was 15 and old enough to know what that meant. I refused to live with my dad (courts allowed it) and started living with my maternal grandparents. My 2 older siblings were in college and they haven't talked to him in years."
"We chose to keep them out of my life and we like it that way."
Her half-sister used the OP's social media platform for personal correspondence.
"Whenever I, my husband or my siblings make any sweet post, she literally spams the comments section with comments about us abandoning her and our biological father."
"I keep blocking her, but she comes back with new IDs every time. I definitely think she is not in a good mental place, and needs help. Possibly professional help."
This time, the half-sister went too far.
"The last straw was on mothers day, when I tried to post a beautiful tribute to my mom. I posted many pictures. Some of those pictures were beautiful family pictures and I edited my biological father out of them."
"She commented about me posting edited pics and abandoning our father. It was a long post, and she actually posted several old family pictures in her account."
"That post got a lot of attention, and people started asking me about it."
"Only this time, I didn't delete her comment or block her. I replied under her post and asked her to stay away from my life. All this time, I avoided a confrontation because I believed she was young and misled by her parents."
"But as a 17 year old, she should know better."
This is what the OP wrote in her reply:
"I don't know about others, but for me and my siblings, just because our biological father decided to have sex with some rando, and cheat on our dying mum, doesn't mean we owe anything to him or the result of his indiscretions.'"
"Please respect our boundaries and leave my family alone. You are old enough to understand this and if it bothers you, consider therapy. This level of obsession with our lives is really unhealthy. I wish you and your family well."
The OP asked AITA (Am I the A**hole) for publicly telling her half-sister to stay out of her life.
Redditors weighed in to determine whether or not the OP was either of the following:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
"Definitely NTA. If she wants to publicly shame you for a very reasonable choice then she can get a taste of her own medicine."
"You aren't responsible for her or her father in any way, and have every right to keep them away. If she can't respect your boundaries and continues to spam your account I would strongly consider taking legal action as well."
"This sounds like borderline stalking and defamation, especially considering the circumstances." – anon7329766
The OP said she would take the legal advice into consideration.
"I will look into legal options if she continues her behavior after she turns 18."
"Although sometimes I feel like it might be my father using her to harrass me. It's just beyond my understanding that a 17 year old would be obsessed with a bunch of relatives."
"I agree that's probably the best course of action."
"Given your dads history, it wouldn't be surprising if she was being manipulated or strongly encouraged into the behavior. It's sad if that's the case, but it still doesn't excuse her actions."
"Either way, she needs to be held responsible if the behavior continues into adulthood."
Others agreed with the speculation that the father could possibly be behind the online trolling.
"It doesn't fully excuse her actions, no, but a 17 year old can be easily pressured by her father."
"I don't want to come to drastic conclusions but we can't rule out abuse." – NinjaKiero
"If their father has been laying on the whole 'they abandoned us' all of her life, then yes, it would be something she has latched onto as a reason to explain her/their unhappiness, and perhaps show her loyalty to her father."
"He may have compared her to her older siblings and made her feel less than acceptable in his eyes. 17 is still a difficult time, and she has a few more years yet before the puberty hormones settle down."
"On her own, being 'abandoned' is an unusual term for a teen to pick up on unless the idea was suggested in her formative years. I feel sad for her, but not him, he made his bed." – goosebumples
The obsessed sibling scenario was very relatable.
"My husband has a half sister that was obsessed with him. She is from his dad's 2nd marriage, 11 yrs younger than husband, they never lived in the same house and had nothing in common. For the record, husband has no relationship with his father either."
"She is extremely dramatic and her desire to be involved in our lives would definitely border on obsessive."
"She even called the national HQ of my husband's job looking for him one time because he didn't call her back right away."
"He tried talking to her, asking her to back off a bit but she just wouldn't. He finally had to be brutal with her and she got the message."
"Just because you may be related by blood is not an open invitation to someone's life. OP is definitely NTA and, having seen it first hand, 17 is definitely old enough to get the hint to back off." – emjaybe
Many agreed that seeing personal drama unfold on an art and family-focused social media page was not appropriate.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*
The book But It's Your Family: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath is available here.