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The 'According To My Calculations' Meme Is Here To Mathematically Tell You What's Up
09 April 2019
With each passing day, like an ever-hungry beast of humor, Twitter finds and devours a new meme to bring pleasure to the millions of people who use it.
The newest entry into the ever-expanding meme canon features a badly-drawn calculator and people's personal calculations.
<p><strong>Simply put, people use the meme to state the facts as simply and straightforwardly as possible...even when the "facts" are more personal opinions than anything else.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="486fa" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0NSPHX1554829089"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1115050873288192000" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">According to my calculations...
━━━━━ ━━
┃Adults who |
┃are obsessed ┃
| with Disney are|
| psychopaths… https://t.co/wI08P7e0m6</div> — Max Grossman (@Max Grossman)<a href="https://twitter.com/GrossmanMax/statuses/1115050873288192000">1554683819.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="73f66" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1YNG9V1554829089"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114570244876427264" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations..
━━━━━ ━━
┃ close the |
┃ door to my ┃
┃room when you
leave… https://t.co/fI7VpP0jD4</div> — 𝒶𝓁𝑜𝑒 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝒶 (@𝒶𝓁𝑜𝑒 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝒶)<a href="https://twitter.com/amichelle_15/statuses/1114570244876427264">1554569228.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="d131a" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ROYUGI1554829089"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1113261993262239744" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations...
━━━━━ ━━
┃ seaworld is ┃
┃ still terrible ┃
┃ ┃
└━━━… https://t.co/707IUE5OLF</div> — liv (@liv)<a href="https://twitter.com/livxmay_/statuses/1113261993262239744">1554257317.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>Some people's calculations revealed some sad truths about themselves.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="39fc2" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="PVHAZM1554829089"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114592403686600704" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations
━━━━━ ━━
┃ i am |
┃ a fucking ┃
┃ clown ┃
└━━━… https://t.co/BtdkN0qrnN</div> — eden 🌹 (@eden 🌹)<a href="https://twitter.com/edexn/statuses/1114592403686600704">1554574511.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="ef425" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="3L5F1D1554829089"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114995693037543424" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations..
━━━━━ ━━
┃ thats not |
┃ my problem ┃
└━━━━━━ ┘
7 ┃ 8┃ 9┃ / ┃
━┛… https://t.co/DgTNJJmgrz</div> — rachel hansen (@rachel hansen)<a href="https://twitter.com/rachhhhhhansen/statuses/1114995693037543424">1554670663.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>A lot of the math on these calculations was left unexplained.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="b3c1e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="PITKH21554829089"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1115023634278412289" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations..
━━━━━ ━━
┃ bisexual |
┃ lesbians ┃
┃ dont… https://t.co/ZpMycVMiRp</div> — k (@k)<a href="https://twitter.com/bisexualspies/statuses/1115023634278412289">1554677325.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="8efcd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="GBHOOE1554829090"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1115272459693981696" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">According to my calculations...
━━━━━ ━━
┃
┃ I’m still. ┃
┃ Broke.… https://t.co/35E9EpsHMk</div> — Ishan Ali 🇧🇩 (@Ishan Ali 🇧🇩)<a href="https://twitter.com/ishanali101/statuses/1115272459693981696">1554736649.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="8c156" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="S30PMB1554829090"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114433268831662080" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations..
━━━━━ ━━
┃ |
┃ i’m the shit. ┃
┃
└━━━━━━ ┘
7 ┃… https://t.co/y4GMbMim77</div> — nina🧜🏽♀️ (@nina🧜🏽♀️)<a href="https://twitter.com/OratiloeMacheke/statuses/1114433268831662080">1554536571.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>In other cases, the conclusions seemed pretty obvious.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="4c539" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="F06RKB1554829090"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114280696019869696" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">According to my calculations..
━━━━━ ━━
┃ |
┃ i’m gay ┃
┃… https://t.co/7BbQh4LUt8</div> — Arthur is on T! (@Arthur is on T!)<a href="https://twitter.com/trainsgenderman/statuses/1114280696019869696">1554500194.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="a1f88" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="R7CN1A1554829090"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114383091123015680" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations..
━━━━━ ━━
┃ taylor swift |
┃didn’t deserve┃
┃any of the hate
she’s eve… https://t.co/IsiyUWVhSe</div> — izzy 💗 (@izzy 💗)<a href="https://twitter.com/13alltooswiftie/statuses/1114383091123015680">1554524607.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>A couple of the memes even seemed to feature what appeared to be real math!</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="4c901" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="69CB2D1554829090"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114385351034929154" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">According to my calculations:
∆ = b² - 4 a c
-b± √∆
x1.8 = ————
2a
Tony Stark deserves to live.</div> — Alia Saw ︽✵︽ (@Alia Saw ︽✵︽)<a href="https://twitter.com/AliaLink101/statuses/1114385351034929154">1554525146.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="95fac" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="NJ74QJ1554829090"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1115563310974406656" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations...
━━━━━ ━━
┃im going slightly |
┃mad is illegally ┃
| underrated
|… https://t.co/r0HYspPGY1</div> — maxie♡.*✧ (@maxie♡.*✧)<a href="https://twitter.com/septicmercury/statuses/1115563310974406656">1554805994.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>Some of the facts presented were painful...but what's one to say? The calculations were airtight.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="440da" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="U2BXJU1554829090"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114556266813317120" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">According to my calculations..
━━━━━ ━━
┃The Cowboys |
┃haven’t won a┃
┃Super Bowl in |
| 23 Years… https://t.co/oXDUfO9bcV</div> — Eagles Nation (@Eagles Nation)<a href="https://twitter.com/PHLEaglesNation/statuses/1114556266813317120">1554565896.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>Other uses of the meme seemed to be not-so-subtly aimed at personal situations in the authors' lives.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="aa64e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="HW3V7U1554829091"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114731206333980673" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations...
━━━━━ ━━
┃ don’t talk to |
┃ me only when |
┃it's convenient |
to… https://t.co/mcBjJciFIL</div> — mon (@mon)<a href="https://twitter.com/monicagescalant/statuses/1114731206333980673">1554607604.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>All in all, however, the meme has proven versatile enough to spread like wildfire across Twitter!</strong></p><p><div id="insticator-container" class="embedid-c230ccfe-b34e-4c23-8bb0-aaf80e33dfdf"><div id="div-insticator-ad-1"></div><div id="insticator-embed"></div><div id="div-insticator-ad-2"></div><script data-cfasync="false" type="text/javascript">Insticator.ad.loadAd("div-insticator-ad-1");Insticator.ad.loadAd("div-insticator-ad-2");Insticator.load("em",{id : "c230ccfe-b34e-4c23-8bb0-aaf80e33dfdf"})</script></div></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="03f15" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="WDN9VH1554829091"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114358472051765248" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">According To My Calculations..
━━━━━ ━━
┃ Britian Blew ┃
┃ A Thirteen ┃
┃ Colony Lead ┃
└━━━━━━ ┘
7 ┃ 8┃… https://t.co/OeJxFTLtEU</div> — Zach (@Zach)<a href="https://twitter.com/ZFed116/statuses/1114358472051765248">1554518738.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="d8d19" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6IACDN1554829091"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114250237080678400" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">According to my calculations:
━━━━━━━
┃ Actions speak ┃
┃ louder than ┃
┃ ur fake clout ┃
seeki… https://t.co/vKrnwHbglR</div> — Kourtney (@Kourtney)<a href="https://twitter.com/23Kourtney/statuses/1114250237080678400">1554492932.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="1f06f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="Q440LK1554829091"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1114573917304258561" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations...
━━━━━ ━━
┃ I need ┃
┃ love &
┃ affection
┃… https://t.co/C2EZSIQ3ct</div> — sad but ok💔 (@sad but ok💔)<a href="https://twitter.com/nobodysfineok/statuses/1114573917304258561">1554570104.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="bef72" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="10E7ST1554829091"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1113301990845632513" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">according to my calculations
━━━━━ ━━
| imma be a raver|
┃ til the ┃
┃ mothafuckin ┃
┃ day… https://t.co/zkTSSB34WC</div> — 🌈Nessah PLUR Mamí ♐️🔜EDCLV2019 (@🌈Nessah PLUR Mamí ♐️🔜EDCLV2019)<a href="https://twitter.com/nessahstarryeye/statuses/1113301990845632513">1554266853.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p>According to my calculations...this meme is a worthy champion, and will be remembered for all time on Twitter.</p><p><div data-conversation-spotlight=""></div></p>
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