COMICSANDS
percolately
georgetakei
secondnexus
george's picks
Most Read
worst roommates
Seems like something that should be disclosed.
GiphyDidn't tell us he was schizophrenic.
Would barge into our rooms in the middle of the night wearing a cloak (literally) and rant about alien conspiracies. Believed the ghosts of the house were communicating with him.
The final straw was when he got the flu and beat up another roommate for "intentionally infecting him." His mother came and picked him up, trying to make excuses.
Honestly I do sympathize for him and his family, but it was still a nightmare.
Didn't tell us he was schizophrenic.
Sounds like you found out pretty fast anyway.
Nowhere to go but up from here.
She sold my credit card info online, stole money, mixed something I'm deathly allergic to in my food, constantly broke into my room just to dig through my stuff, etc.
Every other roommate I've had since then has been great.
Was she addicted to/on hard drugs?
Nope. She didn't even drink.
So why did she do that?
I'm unsure. I don't really think any reason she may have had would have validated it though.
Worst roommate luck ever.
GiphyOh gosh, so many things. Honestly, the other girls in my hall and I considered writing a book about how weird this girl was. We matched on a roommate site because she said she was tidy, studious, and religious. I'm not a huge partier, study a lot and am fairly neat. She proceeded to:
-invite me to a church where I was yelled at for wearing pants (I wore nice black tights and a long top) instead of a dress and not reading ONLY the King James version of the Bible
-bought fruit scented perfume because it made her smell like a 'snack' to guys and would spray it all over the room
-never left the room except to go to church - we're talking ordered takeout, didn't go to class, left an imprint in the chair because she sat in it forever, RA had to check on her because her key-card to leave the dorm had only been swiped 5 times in one month
-played loud hymns constantly. It was like visiting my grandmother in a nursing home- she was always listening to old music like Amazing Grace and How Great Thou Art - good songs but not 24/7
-slept with the lights on and would turn them off when I asked then turn them back on the second she thought I was asleep
-thought my gay cousin was flirting with her and followed him on every form of social media, stalking him constantly
-wanted a 20 minute heads up every time I came back to the room and would text my friends asking where I was
-said I was lying about being a size 2 and went through my closet to see if i really was
-told me I was a slut for being in a sorority and going to the occasional party
-told me country music was only about beer and sex (so further proof I was a slut) when I went to a country concert
-her mother called me in tears once begging me to ask her to call home, saying that she hadn't heard from her daughter in months. mother was the nicest person ever and would come at the holidays to clean the daughter's room for her
-be put on academic probation every semester I knew her
-at least monthly, she'd overeat so much she'd make herself sick. She would get our RA to drive her to the ER and the doctor would tell her the only reason she was throwing up was that she ate too much junk food. She would then have the RA go through the McDonalds drive thru on the way home.
Was it Ted Cruz?
My first semester sophomore year roomate was a f*cking slob (overflowing garbage, messy never-washed sheets, food left out/open). But the worst thing is that he would masturbate while I was still in the room. We had a two-person single room college dorm. Once I was at my desk on my laptop, which faces away from his bed, I don't remember if I was playing a game or listening to music or what I was doing, but there was a pause in the audio, and I could hear him going at it.
And multiple times I would be laying in bed fairly shortly after I got in bed and turned off my light/cell phone, and I would hear him going at it.
He knew that I worked a few days a week, I had nite classes, and he knew my class schedule. But he still chose to masturbate when I was there.
My parents are like this.
Lived with a guy who, it turns out, had some Howard Hughes level OCD anal retentive sh*t going on when it came to the kitchen. He found one tiny speck of bacon grease on the stove top after I cooked some bacon and totally flipped his shit for like 30 minutes. Stomping through the house slamming doors. The works.
The grease speck was barely the size of the head of a pin.
I just stood there staring.
My friend is like this. Organizes the cupboards and cabinets to such an extreme that she'll notice if the glass designated for the left front corner is turned at a 75 degree angle instead of an 85 degree angle and absolutely blow up at whoever's close by. People have to remove shoes and socks before reaching her door, put on designated socks to walk around the apartment in while visiting, then put their own shoes and socks back on once outside. The dishwasher has assigned seating for each individual cooking utensil that will earn a Vesuvion meltdown if tweaked. Same with stored food/the fridge. Certain towels can only be used to clean certain items, down to only specific cleaning methods and dish soap/detergent.
I can't be around people like this. That's why that dude is my ex roommate.
There are real problems in life and the world and anyone who intentionally creates an additional mountain of sh*t to deal with irrationally is just someone I don't need around.
Fight back.
GiphyShe is my best friend but living with her was complete torture. I am a very easy person to scare, so she would constantly try and scare me everyday at least 5 times a day for her own amusement.
The worst one was on Halloween one year, we were having a party at our house. She had snuck upstairs to my bedroom, while I was mingling with friends and laid a bunch of fake rubber bugs in my bedsheets and covered them up with the duvet. Well naturally I was so drunk when I went to bed I just pulled the covers off and passed out on the bed. A few hours later I woke up and in the corner of my eye there was a bug in view and I looked around more and saw loads of them. I screamed. Got up so quickly that I tripped and fell off my bed and into my nightstand, then crashed into the wall (because I was still very drunk) . Then I proceeded to sit on the corner of my dresser for a solid three minutes before I figured out they weren't real.
Living in constant fear is the worst.
Teach yourself to throw punches when you're surprised.
I wish! Unfortunately in fight, flight or fetal reactions, I am the fetal lady. I just scream and drop to the floor instantaneously. Which is why everyone finds it so damn hilarious.
Aladdin though?
Where to start. One roommate slept the entire school year on the couch in our living room and would complain if we were too loud. Another roommate I walked in on him masturbating with Aladin on the TV. And the other roommate was really bad at video games and would only play sports games or CoD and yell at them whenever he would play poorly (which was always).
I have some serious questions about that second one
Screw you, Shannon.
- She chewed tobacco and would leave her nasty spit cups all over the house.
- She never washed the dishes to the point she wasn't allowed to use ours. She used the same pan all semester for her morning eggs; she wouldn't even give it a rinse. Just day after day after day continuing to cook eggs with cooked-on burnt eggs in the pan. It smelled disgusting.
- She wouldn't chip in for toilet paper nor would she ever change the roll.
- She ran a house painting company during the summers and she had all these really expensive, tall ladders. She insisted they were too valuable to keep out back and they were too long to get upstairs to her room. So she kept them in the living room.
- She wouldn't wrap up her sanitary pads or tampons; she'd just toss them in the garbage as is.
- She wouldn't take out the garbage (see my point above. So revolting!)
- She would use our bathroom toiletries without asking. (Once I found out, I started keeping my stuff in my room and locking it).
- She would eat our food and then say she didn't.
We hated her so much. Screw you Shannon!
Never ever leave protein shake containers unwashed.
GiphyHe made Mac N cheese on my couch... multiple times. He would also make the thickest chocolate protein shakes, let it sit for days, and put it in the dishwasher without a prewash. Animals...smh
Oh god, the classic 'leave the protein shake out for weeks'. It always smells like a dead body.
Crazy cat lady in the making.
My worst roommate was a friend who needed a place to live. I let her move in with my boyfriend and I at a house we were renting (landlord was a friend of my parents and he said that was fine). I assumed we would have no issues since she was very quiet, and worked and went to college at the same time, and would be gone a lot. Boy was I wrong. Here's a list of things that drove both BF and I crazy.
-She let her cats eat chewed up food out of her own mouth while we were in the same room
-She encouraged said cats to attack my dog if he was merely in the same room as her cats. Would be super happy if they did scratch him.
-Shaved her pubes while sitting on the toilet and not flushing, thus creating a forest of pubic hair sitting on top of the toilet water.
-Once my dog bad an accident on the floor while I was at work cause he was sick. She cleaned it up with one of my good bath towels and left the poop covered towel on the living room floor. Acted all offended when I asked her why she couldn't use paper towels or the carpet cleaning machine we had like a normal human being.
-Told me about a coworker who she thought was creepy. Bragged about getting him fired a few days later... because he said hi to her and made small talk in the break room. She thought he might try to attack her.
-Never helped with house cleaning, etc
-Asked if we could set up cable TV in her bedroom, then never used it when we did. Then she'd intrude while my boyfriend or I were playing video games, and sit and complain out loud how boring it is watching other people play games. Go watch TV in your own room since you begged to have cable set up in there, nobody is forcing you to watch us play!
-Would suck each individual finger clean, loudly, after eating any sort of finger food. Not just after finishing the meal but between bites. Use a NAPKIN.
-One time she made some food and set the plate on the couch, then walked away for something. I was in the bathroom getting ready but saw what happened next, my dog went for it and started going to town on the unattended food. I ran out to stop him but she got there first and hit him in the goddamn face. None of that would have happened if she left her fucking food on the table out of his reach, like a normal human being!
I know there is more about her, but that's all I can think of at the moment. I know she probably isn't the worst roommate out there, but she drove me absolutely crazy.
That Escalated Quickly
Let's just go with the top 3:
- Bought a sugar glider without knowing much about it. So the apartment reeked of tiny marsupial(they're small, but their scent glands are intense). He also was nocturnal and was constantly noisy at night. She had no idea how to take care of him and screamed at him when he didn't immediately love her.
- Refused to pay rent.
- Oh yeah and that time she tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I snapped at her.
Moral of the story kids? Don't move in with your ex.
Racist
GiphyOne of my freshman year roommates. Dude was an inconsiderate ahole in every way possible. He was openly racist in the presence of other whites but around black people he was sunshine and smiles, which we questioned because he was on the schools basketball team. My other roommate and I were curious about why he was friendly with the black players when he's racist and he responded with "It's different when you know them" which drove us up a wall because it's the closest I've seen a person come to a realization but just come up short. This rubbed us the wrong way because other roommate has a black stepdad and went to a largely black high school and half my family is made up of Cuban immigrants and my son's godfather is black man.
Also he bathed maybe three times a week, which was an issue because he was on the basketball team. Other roommate and I took the greatest glee when his mom, an employee of the university of the university, called the coach and told him how disrespectful her son is to her. Roommate had to sit on the sidelines in his suit and tie instead of dressed out because of it. Now he's a white rapper.
edit: I just contacted my other roommate to see what's up as obviously I try to cull aholes from my life. Turns out that his rap career flopped like a fat man in a cruise pool and became a high school basketball coach. He had to delete it because the district has a lot of black kids and there would have been an issue as the whitest kid on the planet loves to use soft-A in his music.
We were in suite-style dorms. 4 people per, 2 bathrooms, a living area, and 4 bedrooms. They were tiny, but separate. Thin walls, but we were all in our own locked rooms.
This happened during finals week. This particular night, I was up late, chatting with some friends on Teamspeak and going over some Calc 3 notes. It's about 2AM.
The roommate who shares a wall with me knocks on my door, asks if I could be quiet. Now, I'm not a person who's particularly loud on the mic, but hey, it's finals week. I agree without second thought, drop out of voice chat, and get back to my studying.
A few minutes later, he comes back, knocks on my door, asks if I could turn off my light (which was only coming out under the door. Keep in mind, there's both my door and his). I'm a bit annoyed, but, I was wrapping up so I figured I could finish up by the light of my monitors and lamp.
Ten minutes pass. I get another knock. I'm getting a bit annoyed, but the he's just pleading with me to 'stop making noise'. He seems stressed out and whatnot, and I knew his exam was a lot earlier than mine was, in the morning. Since by this point I was just about done, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was having trouble sleeping?
It's about 3am by now, so I decide to get to sleep.
Ten minutes pass, oddly enough, I hear our dorm door open. I hear the roommate mentioned talking to somebody, and I hear a woman's response. Shortly after, the sounds of rather loud sex start coming from his room.
On finals week, this douche begged me to stop studying so he could bang some chick without the awkwardness of "my roommate is still awake".
I felt a bit better, though, the next day. I ask him how the final he had went, only for his response to be "Oh, that's tomorrow". This was odd, of course, because a buddy of mine was in the same section as him and had it that morning. I couldn't help but take pleasure in the fact that he soon discovered he had missed a final.
Allergies
My sister can be a bit much so I can see why people don't like her sometimes but she had a roommate who legitimately tried to murder her.
My sister is deathly allergic to bananas. She can't be in the same room as a peeled banana or she'll start breaking out into hives and her throat will swell.
She had a roommate who was from somewhere in the Caribbean who grew up eating plaintains a lot or something like that and she ate a lot of bananas. All my sister asked was that she eat them in her room and keeps the peels in the trash can in her room.
Nope. She would leave banana peels all over the kitchen and make a big deal about touching all the door knobs all the time.
My sister told her RA and the roommate said my sister was faking it and just being racist.
My sister wound up moving out of there in about a month.
Health Scare
GiphyAre you ready for a novel? I have celiac disease and this is what I posted in a group on Facebook the other day.
I'm lost, I'm frustrated, I don't know what to do. My intent when I left one apartment with dirty roommates who contaminated me frequently was to move where I can keep a clean kitchen and not have to worry. My boyfriend also looks out for me. My boyfriends 22M cousin moved in with us so he could get himself together and try to start over. Since he has lived here, he has trashed my house.
He wont wash anything, and when he does he leaves gluten food crusted in everything. The counters are constantly a mess of crumbs and theres food splattered everywhere. He uses my dedicated utensils for his food. There is gluten spaghetti in the burners, on the counter, in the sink. The microwave has a whole crust of cheese across it. HE EVEN PUKED UP GLUTEN FOOD IN THE KITCHEN AND LEFT IT FOR ME TO CLEAN.
Nothing in my house is clean. Nothing. He will not conform. I keep getting sick, I lost my job because of it. My blood work came back and it was TERRIBLE. I have nicely talked to him, I've talked to his parents, I've talked to my boyfriend. He will not get it through his head that he's sacrificing MY HEALTH because he's lazy and an alcoholic and he cried to his parents that I was awful to him because I told him off.
He then started going on about how he wishes he could end it all. My boyfriend wont let me throw him out. All I want is my house back and to feel safe eating and not like I'm living in a wasteland. I don't know what to do. I cry every time I look in my kitchen or fridge or anything. He is blatantly disregarding my health. He is disrespecting my home. He has had celiac disease explained to him multiple times. Nothing changes. He does not care.
Health Scare Update
We are kicking him out, but not strictly for the issue of him glutening me. He spent the weekend trying to convince me my boyfriend is cheating, and he came home in an extremely drunken state and was belligerent. He was cussing at me for getting on him about not cleaning properly because he "does his best". Then called me vulgar names and was demanding I cook for him because "I'm a woman and it's my job".
He then locked me out of my house in below freezing weather while I was on the phone with my dad. So dad is in the loop of everything that's happening, and my boyfriend finally understands my issues with this kid. Thanks for all your advice and support. He should hopefully be gone by the weekend. Until then, my dad and my boyfriend are more than willing to come to my house if anything happens. He knows to stay away from me.
Thief
My first year at uni, I lived on campus with 3 guys from my hometown. One of them joined a fraternity, and he would always be in and out of the dorm, and he would always come back late at night drunk, high, or both. I had my TV and my Xbox in the living room at this point, but at one point I took my Xbox to my bedroom because I was tired of him. Then the weekend came around and I guess he thought I went home, when really, I was just sleeping in after a long night. I keep my door locked all the time just because I don't want people messing with my things, and he knew my Xbox was in here, and he had one of his friends, who I didn't know very well, over and they both agreed to try and break into my room. They were unsuccessful in their attempt and I just sat in my room shocked that they would try that. I don't know what I would have done had they gotten in. I immediately texted the other two roommates and told them and they just said they weren't surprised. I never really talked to him much for the rest of the school year. He is no longer my roommate.
Bear With Me
GiphyFreshman year of college, I was placed in a three person dorm. The girls I was with were friends before we got there, so automatically I was the odd one out. Other than just being ignored, one of them was the most toxic being to live with: They ate every meal laying on their stomach in bed, snores like a hibernating bear, only did laundry once a month, and left a ring around the toilet that was only used by them only to blame one of the other suite mates. The other decided she didn't want to share the room after the first month and spent the remainder of the year in the common area (our living room) and I moved out after the first semester.
Fritos And Feet
Freshman in college..she went to bed at 8, smelled like Fritos and feet, and was just generally intolerable. Then she moved into the opposite quad and we ended up having our own rooms with a shared desk room. Except she didn't clean any of her mess when she left, just moved her stuff out.
While my friend and I were cleaning, we sat down on what used to be her bed (they were bunked) and saw boogers. This person had been wiping boogers under my bed for half a semester. And did not clean them up. Needless to say my friend and I ran to her room to figure out the next course of action, but that whole clean up was just nasty.
Sounds Like A Sitcom
First year of Uni i had the weirdest flat set up I could've gotten.
First room on the end was an obese guy with a pretty dire case of Asperger's. He didn't wash and towards the end of each term it was almost vomit inducing to be around him. He'd also do this thing were he'd just walk into my room unannounced to say 'Hello' and then stay in silence for 5 minutes.
Next room down was a mtf transgender person who changed her name and transitioned during the course of the year. She was really friendly and was really good to live with but I'll include her just to flesh out the story.
Finally, and next down before my room was the most raging ket head I'd ever met. He was very depressed and didn't really go to any of his lectures at all. Spent most days sleeping through his alarms and most nights either drinking rum or on drugs while he created house music through his SPEAKERS. I didn't sleep much. He'd also get really personal with me and talk to me about how he planned this murder. I did like him though.
Oh and on the first night there the second two of them were involved in a 4 way.
They were all nice and we got along on the odd chance we actually spoke to one another but it was still an odd set up and I felt like I was in a reality show most of the time. I honestly thought I was going to be the weird, unsocial one with my anxiety before Uni which was true I guess, but I couldn't believe it.
Besties
GiphyI had 3 hellish roommates but the last one wins for being the worst person I know.
She was my best friend at the time, and back then I was dumb and desperate for attention, so I was pretty easy to manipulate. She took full advantage of that. Got me to do her homework, to clean the apartment myself, to make fun of my own friends, to shut everyone out but her. She would tell me to kill myself any time I showed emotions, but she expected me to baby her every time she had an emotional breakdown. She once slammed my head against the wall and laughed when I asked what the f--- that was.
She was also cheating on one guy and then started cheating on the second guy, and she'd bring them over at like 4 am. On top of that she was a compulsive liar and would tell the stupidest lies just because she could. When I realized she was making my life hell, I calmly explained to her how I felt uncomfortable and we both peacefully agreed to take a break from each other. Less than a week later she was spreading rumors about me everywhere and tried to report me to our university for "bullying her". She blamed me for anything that ever happened to her after that, including when her multiple boyfriends found out about her charade and dumped her. We also worked together on a play at one point after this and she actually started swearing and throwing things at me in the dressing room while I was changing clothes.
Gigolo
His name was Jacque. Craigslist roommate in NYC, circa 2005. Jacque was a bodybuilder & personal trainer... who used to be a heroine addict living in Tompkins Square Park.
Jacque seemed like the nicest guy until, on that first day, he showed me some photos of himself. Nice, normal photos at first. Then... Jacque buck naked on the bed.
Whoa. Whoa. Did not want to see that! I said.
It went downhill from there.
Jacque earned his living as, essentially, a gigolo. His patrons were wealthy, lonely older Manhattan women in their 50s and 60s. They'd send him clothes and shoes and money. The apartment was huge, maybe 2000 square feet. The kitchen and my room were on one side. His room and the living room were on the other. But when he had a lady friend over, "his" half of the apartment was no go territory.
One day, I was on the phone in the living room. Jacque came out and was upset that the noise was bothering him. Fair enough, I said, but maybe you should consider, I dunno, closing the door to your room first before complaining about the noise and telling me to go somewhere else. Obvious. Duh.
Jacque flew into a fit of rage. Do you know in professional wrestling when the characters start pacing maniacally in a circle around the ring, enraged and preparing to strike? Jacque started doing that.
"You're not my father!" he shouted, eyes bulging and veins popping from his forehead. "You will respect me! You will not speak to me that way!"
Oh shit, I thought, he's gone full psycho. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. "Uhh, OK," I said, "Now Jacque just... just settle down. It's going to be alright."
"You're not my father!!!!!" He screamed again, still pacing.
"Jacque," I stammered, "I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick and I'll be back."
I walked calmly to my end of the apartment and opened the bathroom door. When Jacque wasn't looking, I snuck the front door open and closed it gently behind me––then ran for my life down the stairs and out the building.
I never slept in that apartment again.
In The Navy
Navy A school I was unfortunate enough to have a roommate who was the same rate as me and we were in all the same classes. He would sleep all day, including in class and on watch, then stay up all night and play video games loudly. I'd always have to tell him off every night before he'd turn his shit down. He would go out on weekends in his whites and drink underage and would pass out wherever and get mugged while he was asleep.
Dude was constantly getting new ID's and whites because he'd puke all over himself. Also, he didn't bathe or brush his teeth, do laundry, and had really gross welts on his face. He always relied on me to wake him up before school until one day I didn't and he showed up halfway through the day and told the class he was going to beat me up once we got back to our room because he got in trouble.
Anyway, he finally graduated and got shipped out to Florida and slept past his flight, then slept past his bus ride, then he finally left, but not before cramming everything he couldn't take into my closet, including his dirty uniforms. He sent me a friend request on fb soon after he left, kinda wish I would've accepted just to see wtf he's up to nowadays.
Syd Vicious
GiphyWhen I was in university my roommate was essentially the sole reason our dorm hall racked up the highest fines in the history of the school.
Normally, the fines would be extremely small and were only issued to pay for small problems. Like cleaning the bathroom if someone puked after a night of partying, or if someone broke a light fixture. If nobody could be identified as the perpetrator, the school would split the cost evenly amongst the entire hallway. It'd come out to something like, $1 per person or something low and manageable like that.
So, needless to say, we started getting attention when the fines were coming out to around $20-50 per person and would be issued nearly every week. Keep in mind this was on a dorm hall with nearly 20 people on it.
With that in mind, let me introduce my roommate. Sydney, more commonly known as "Syd", was from an extremely rich family and had made it to college on a scholarship deal for baseball. Everyone on our hall played baseball save for 1 or 2 people, so everyone knew everyone. Syd was the team clown, and was always f---ing around and creating problems...but I'd be lying if he didn't get laughs. Syd told me that he didn't give a sh!t about the fines because his family paid his for him, and that he found it funny when people would have to deal with his shenanigans. He told me several times he wasn't going to be in our "sh!t" school for long as a D-1 school was looking at him to transfer and play for them. (We were a D-2 School)
Onto his "escapades..." He sh!t in the communal bathroom sink more than once. Filled a garbage can will water and piss and then leaned it against the outside of a room door, so that when the door was opened the occupant would get a floor full of piss-water. This lead to a mold infestation in our hall. He chewed, and would leave his spit or chew in people's dresser drawers. He would come back to the dorm faced, and spend all night puking in the communal showers, and then just leave it there for the cleaners to clean up. His drunken benders were insane, and he'd often come back to the dorms drunk and break a bunch of sh!t. Once, in the summer, he leaned his head out our room window and puked, and the girls in the room below had a fan in their window which sucked the barf in and sprayed it all over the room...covering one of the girls who happened to be standing in the middle of the room.
The worst part? He got away with it. Some players on the team really liked him and thought his pranks were funny so they wouldn't do anything about it. Others tried to complain but he'd feign innocence and the RAs would tell us that there wasn't any hard evidence that pointed towards him. Or at least not enough to get him suspended. I imagine the coaches also had a heavy influence in him avoiding trouble. His family also had a lot of money and he threatened to sue if he was kicked out of the hall. The RA was a huge pothead who didn't want to rock the boat and just wanted everyone to "chill out." At the end of the year HE DID get transferred to a D-1 school where he went on to be in the starting line-up of their baseball team.
I look back on it now and laugh, but MAN at the time he was a roommate from HELL.