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That's exactly how one New Jersey TikToker's drunken night turned out and it's got people all over the internet in hysterics.
TikToker Ryan Finley's hilariously embarrassing video was in response to a trend on the platform in which TikTokers were prompted to "show me a video telling me you're drunk without telling me you're drunk."
And, well, suffice to say, he nailed it.
After a night of heavy drinking, Ryan apparently logged onto Instagram and DM'd the iconic talkshow host, producer and actress at 4:17 AM on a Sunday morning—prime-time for drunken antics if there ever was one.
In a screen recording of the message Finley included in his TikTok, he could be heard desperately, almost beseechingly notifying the media queen:
"Oprah... Oprah I don't feel well."
Finley then could be heard violently retching...
Before closing with a most unorthodox sign-off.
"Oprah...I am Batman."
To his credit, Finley has owned up to his behavior—in his TikTok caption, he issued a heartfelt apology to Ms. Winfrey.
"I am so sorry Oprah."
No word as yet on Oprah's official response, but if her past gif catalogue is any indication, Finley's in some hot water if Winfrey ever gets around to checking her DM's from 20-something randos.
Of course, Finley's fellow TikTokers couldn't stop laughing about all this.
@noelmulk0/TikTok
@cumsocks._/TikTok
@jenniemcbabe69/TikTok
@elliebelly57/TikTok
@thawsumpossum/TikTok
@cynth.sings/TikTok
@codyjacobmusic/TikTok
@cryab0utit/TikTok
@remibader/TikTok
Given Finley's message most likely ended up in Oprah's filtered DMs inbox, it's almost certain she'll never see Finley's message. Nevertheless, let this be a lesson to all of us to just put our phones away when we're inebriated