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things are harder than people think
u/FatBeforeFact asked: What's a lot harder than people actually think?
True facts.
GiphyQuitting just about any bad habit you've had for a long time.
5 1/2 years smoke free. Hardest thing I've ever done.
Relationships are HARD.
Maintaining a healthy, loving relationship.
People think it's always pretty easy, but it involves juggling a lot of plates together to make things work.
This is so true! Most people think that love just happens to you and if you fall out of love then you just move on and find someone new. But there are stages to love and after you get through the initial hot and heavy stage, it takes work to maintain it. You have to make time for each other and actively work to create a loving relationship together.
Sad, but true.
GiphyFinding worthwhile friends.
The other side of that challenge is striving to be someone that worthwhile people want to be friends with.
Ugh, yes.
Going to the gym. I don't mean working out itself, I mean the actual act of coming home tired after work and forcing yourself to go to the gym. Physically getting there is so psychologically taxing. It actually wears on me throughout the day at work, especially if it's a tough day at the job.
Main reason why I started doing gym in the mornings. Now, if I could just get used to waking up super early to go workout...
It's all about technique.
Fighting.
My first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class I recall thinking "I'm a big strong guy, I know how to fight, I'll be ok at this"
Nope. Nope nope, just no.
A tiny older lady proceeded to mess my world up. I still have no idea how she stood on my face and threw me at the same time, but I was bottom over teakettle the entire roll.
My first striking class "well BJJ was tough, but I did karate as a kid, I can throw a punch and kick; besides my conditioning is better now. I'll be fine."
More nope nope!
Cue scrawny kid lighting me up, bruised for days and I'm convinced that I was kicked in the side while holding pads hard enough to cause brain damage.
Being good at fighting is hard. Aggression, strength and size can carry some people quite a ways, but goddamn there are some hidden monsters out there.
I'm sure that's not what you meant.
GiphyExposing yourself. Emotionally speaking, not like swinging your d**k around, though I imagine many would also have difficulty with that as well.
"If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known," - Tim Kreider
i.e: if you're too shy to take your pants off you'll never get any decent action.
Maintaining conversations with people. Most of the time, small talk would happen; it's absolute drivel.
I used to have the same problem, then I decided to learn communication skills by doing door to door sales. The key is to try to avoid asking simple questions that have simple answers, like yes or no answers or so forth. Instead ask open ended questions that require the other person to activate their brain to answer.
"What are you passionate about?" "What are 3 things you like about your current job?"
Don't just ask them what they do for a living because that will give you a flat one or two word response. Instead ask them what they do and then expand on it. "Oh, you're a teacher? If you could change one thing about your school day what would it be?" That should get the gears moving. Open ended questions are key.
That's the only way to learn.
Reading and writing. Think about it, it takes years of direct instruction before you are minimally literate and you continually learn vast amounts of words into your late 20s.
The fact that most people know how to do it to any level obscures the challenge.
If anyone disagrees with this, learn a foreign language. It really puts into perspective how incredibly difficult, complex, and nuanced communication is.
This happens a lot, unfortunately.
Leaving an abusive relationship. People always say stuff, like "Why doesn't she/he just leave him/her?", but it rarely is as easy as this. Maybe this person still has some feeling for that persons.
Quite often the domestic violence victim is really afraid of the perpetrator and fears that the abuser might beat them up badly or even try to kill them when they leave. They also might, completely wrongly, believe after awhile that they did something wrong and the beatings are justified.
I have found in verbally abusive relationships that the person who is being abused thinks that, that is how relationships work, or oh I can fix him/her. It can get really bad when people on the outside keep telling you to break up with that abusive person, but no one likes to be told how to date, and sometimes double down and try to prove everyone wrong.
I know this because I went through this myself. People can just live in denial, and think that there isn't anything better for them because they have little to no self esteem.
An important lesson.
GiphyRecovering from multiple broken broken bones.
I broke 15 bones of my mountain bike a month ago. I was just cleared by the doctor to start being able to walk. It's like you forget how to walk and even though you think you remember you are not strong enough to walk. It's even worse for me because I broke my left wrist and collar bone so I can't even use crutches...
The lesson I learned from this is always be careful because one wrong move and you could change your life.
TRUTH.
Acting. I have studied acting now for six years, and it is still so complicated. It is not remembering lines, it's emotion, reaction, character, voice, breath, emphasis, memory, a knowledge of human behaviour, body language, and even knowledge on how to build tension or enhance claustrophobia.
Working in retail. When I was 15 I got my first part time job during school as a "check out chick" and I thought it was super easy. I was also a bit of an arrogant kid just because I had good grades at school and thought "this is gonna be super easy."
I almost had a breakdown on my first shift. They gave me no help, I was distraught at how fast adults moved their groceries along the belt and a these different payment methods etc. I had no clue on what half the vegetables were called (I only knew things I ate like carrot, broccoli etc) BUT NOT 9 different TYPES OF APPLES AND MANGOES. Customers were condescending and I had no idea what half the buttons did or how to do certain things and no one told me, I also had severe social anxiety at the time and wasn't used to talking to strangers.
It took me over half a year to finally be fully on my feet. Even then, I felt almost no confidence in my ability to do my job properly and also had to learn from each bad experience I had (e.g a customer would get mad if I didn't know how to do something right - because apparently they were perfect at their first job). Packing groceries and speed were also a nightmare for me because different customers liked different packing styles and different weights.
Anyway, it's been almost 2 years now and I have turned from a little anxious hermit into a very outgoing and cheery person who enjoys making customers' days better. It's also worth noting that I've certainly humbled out and have learned to appreciate every single job and person around me and that I am not the centre of the universe as I had been when I was a child. Heck, it even inspired me to use my education to hopefully get into med school because I both enjoy learning about medicine and interacting/ assisting with everyday people.
Anyway, long story short: Every job is harder than it looks - no matter the wage etc. Next time you feel like attacking a retail assistant - think of how you'd like to be in that position with no experience.
OMG!
Stiff Muscles.
At peak condition, or through electric Stimuli, your muscles can tense to a point where they can withstand being hit by a baseball bat and could even break it.
You just blew my mind if this is true!
A good method.....maybe.
GiphyGetting motivation to study. Sometimes you really want to study, but when you finally come to it, you procrastinate, or get distracted. It's really hard to have a study properly. My advice? Irregular sleeping hours.
Obviously this might not work if you have school early in the morning, but during holidays, you may want to choose to sleep in the afternoons or in the mornings, and study at night instead. At night, no one is awake and everything is quiet, perfect.
I do this constantly and it's not really affecting my health. Just remember to change up your sleeping cycle a day before you have school so you don't get affected too badly by this habit.
No easy feat.
Pole Dancing. You wont look sexy after taking a one hour class. It's been over two months and I'm still waiting for the sexy to show up.