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Mom Wonders If She's In The Wrong For Kicking Her Teen Daughter Out Of The House After Catching Her Having Sex On Her Bed
An 18-year-old woman was booted out of the house when her mother caught the teen having sex on her bed.
The mom then posted to Reddit, asking if banishment was a fair disciplinary move.
The responses were mixed and fiery.
In her post, the mother—who opted to remain even more anonymous with a throwaway account "gottausethrowaway1"—laid out the details. She tells the common tale of a teenager demanding independence with bolder and bolder behaviors which, eventually, drive the parent to a breaking point.
The mother first tells of the conditions that led to the ultimate blow-up.
"She's an older teen and has had lots of issues since she started high school, mostly stemming from rebellion, I think."
"Her father always played the "Disney dad" role (because she only stayed with him every other weekend + summers/holidays). So discipline was solely on me."
Then, mom moves on to the main event, the old 'hanky panky' on the matriarchal bed.
"I trusted her to leave her alone but ended up coming home early when my plans got ruined last minute."
"So I walk in on my daughter in my bed with some guy I don't even know."
She closes with the status of the daughter, post-booting.
"I told her I have had it and she's going to live with her dad. That means she's either going to have a 45 min commute to school or transfer. I don't really care which at this point because I am at my breaking point."
"If her dad won't take her in full time, she can go live with friends, I guess, but I'm not planning on giving financial support."
Despite her apparent conviction and firmness during the confrontation, this mother wavered about the choice when she reflected privately, asking Reddit, "Am I wrong for reaching my limit with this extremely boundary cross?"
One self-identified "mental health professional" advised caution.
"What she did is pretty blatantly disrespectful, don't get me wrong, and I know you said she has been rebellious throughout her teenage years thus far."
"But kicking her out is a one-way ticket to resentment and a potentially broken relationship for the rest of her/your life. It is totally detrimental to a child/teenager to feel abandoned by a parent, I've seen this happen too many times." u/327sk
Another Redditor noted another variable that may be in play.
"Based on the details you've given it seems a bit harsh. It also sounds like you resent her dad which is fine but don't blame her for your problems with your ex." u/Samlucas74
One even empathized with her daughter.
"Banging in the parents room was always a no brainer compared to some messy teen room with a tiny bed."
Of course, not all Redditors were so diplomatic.
"Any parent who is willing to abandon their kid... Over something like having sex, even in your bed...Deserves a kid who would have sex in your bed." u/hawkxp71
"....this is your daughter. YOUR DAUGHTER. Do you not care about her? Is she nothing to you? Do you have no passion, no love, no shame? Her parents divorced and she didn't take it well, and even if she is an a**hole you should support her."
"You're putting her into a situation that practicaly dooms her life. She needs support. If you won't help her, who will? I suggest you take her back unless you truly hate this girl." u/doe_gee
These more severe, blaming responses evidently disappointed the mother, who deemed the comments totally unhelpful in an edit to her original post.
"I came here for judgment, but some of the comments implying that I might have 'abused' my daughter or that I somehow 'deserved' for my space to be violated this way because I'm a 'sh** mom' are really shocking. I won't be participating in this thread anymore."
"I'm fine being told I'm wrong and listening to different perspectives. But being personally degraded just isn't for me. I'm out."
But upon mom's initial opting out, more abuse kept coming.
Ultimately Reddit admins stepped in and locked the post, not allowing any more comments.
But that didn't stop the abuse according to the mom.
"Since the post has been locked, it's now escalated to several (yes, several) threats/people wishing me death via [private message] and the chat function. I am screenshooting and reporting to admins."
"Hopefully something is done about this behavior. I get that those sending these messages are likely teens themselves, but that doesn't make it okay."
"Despite my daughter's problems and poor judgment, I am grateful that I didn't raise someone that hateful and disturbed."
"For those who care, she is going to live with her father and moving before the end of the month. He's agreed to it, and I'm hoping it gives her a fresh start."
In the future, this mother will likely turn to other sources for parenting advice.