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Guy Wonders If He's In The Wrong For Telling His Roommate She Can't Live With Him When He Finds Out She's Pregnant
18 February 2020
On the popular subreddit "Am I the A**hole?" internet users gather to decide whether or not their behavior is socially acceptable.
In one recent viral post, redditor Novel-Assistance wanted to know whether he was in the wrong for kicking his pregnant roommate out of the apartment.
The post was titled "AITA for kicking my pregnant roommate out?"
He explained:
"So I'm 26M and I own a house due to inheritance. I decided to have a room mate live with me a couple years ago and it's worked out great. I didn't need the money but i live close to the local college so I thought a student could use a nice place with low rent."
"Amy 21F moved in 2 years ago and is just about to finish up her degree. We spoke about her plans a few months ago and she decided that she wants to stay living here, I was happy with that since we've become quite close."
"This last month Amy came to me and told me she was pregnant. It shocked me at first because I was unaware she was sexually active as she's never bought anyone home or stayed out overnight. I didn't pry into the details as I didn't feel it was my business. However she did say she is planning to keep it."
"Last night I sat Amy down and told her that I won't be able to live with a baby in the house because I don't like children and that if she is keeping it she'll have to move out. She got really upset."
"I gave her the option of moving into an apartment I own a mile away (I purchased with inheritance and the current renters are moving out this summer) but she said that wouldn't be good because then she'd be alone and have no one to help with the baby. I told her that even if she stayed here I wouldn't be helping with the baby. It seemed she was under the illusion we'd 'raise it together'."
"She started crying and even tried to bribe me with sex (which while tempting didn't work) to be allowed to stay."
"I told her she can stay until she gives birth and I'll help her with her pregnancy because I feel close to her, however once it's born she either moves into my apartment or goes somewhere else. She ran upstairs crying and we haven't spoken since really. AITA?"
CNDRock16 came out firmly on the side of the Original Poster.
"NTA. Difficult situation but it's your house and you can pick who lives there."
"Seems like she has some illusions about your relationship, honestly I'm not sure letting her stay there until she delivers the baby is a good idea..."
cyanocittaetprocyon agreed—the roommate seemed to be a step out of touch with reality.
"What the h*ll? She definitely has delusions of a family with OP as dad, even though that's not his kid. OP, I would tread really carefully here, even going so far as seeing a lawyer. I would be worried that she would try to get you on the birth certificate, or have you in some way financially responsible."
easternsierra_gal suggested some possible paths forward.
"NTA. And I agree with not letting her stay until she delivers. That will only be harder. She needs to move out now and get settled in a place she can raise her baby, well before baby comes. That is the best recourse for both her and OP, in my opinion. Living with a baby is so not for everyone. Also her attempt to bribe OP with sex is very weird and eludes to some definite blurred lines (imagined or not) in their relationship. The time to get clear cut is now."
"EDIT: The attempt to get OP to sleep with her actually may have been an attempt to trap him into being the father. With paternal testing available, among other things, it wasn't the brightest plan, but she may have been thinking, "If he sleeps with me, maybe I can manipulate the situation into making him be the father." She is most likely desperate and scared and exploring crazy options that seem like safe harbors to her."
RhovanionGirl backed up that assessment.
"Agreed, once she has the baby I think it will be even harder to get her to move out"
4cats3dogs thought there might be some legal trouble in the future.
"Agreed NTA however if she has signed a lease he's unable to evict her for being pregnant (depending on laws for where he lives) without discriminating. This could open the door to a lot of trouble for him down the road. OP needs to discuss this with a lawyer."
ultimatescar was frank, even if he was a bit uncomfortable.
"Dont wanna be that guy but she seems like trying to honey trap ya dude."
RazorRamonReigns thought it was important to note that the roommate was given lots of other options.
"They even offered another apartment! No hassle finding a new place. No worrying about how the landlord is. OP is on the opposite side of the spectrum. It'd be one thing if they kicked them out of an apartment they were just renting and not sharing. And they are willing to help during the pregnancy. They've gone above and beyond. Roommate/tenant needs a reality check. They aren't the father, they aren't the roommates parent. Who the hell thinks such a big ask is okay?"
NUTmeSHELL summed things up pretty well.
"NTA. It sounds like this girl had delusions of the two of you starting a ready made family. Not okay."
WitchBlade8734 wondered what the roommate's motivations were.
"I honestly think she was trying to trap OP in some way. I find it very odd that she would just offer sex to OP like that so easily. I almost wonder if she was going to try and do that regardless, and trap OP once she actually did get pregnant because I don't think she really is."
el_deedee thought there was more happening under the surface.
"It makes me think she maaaaay be carrying a torch for OP that he was too dense to pick up on and that their living together in domestic bliss could be furthered by a baby. Or her fear upon realizing she's pregnant was eased by falling back on their very close domestic situation."
OverallDisaster knew that, no matter the reasons, the roommate's behavior was strange.
"Ok, that's really weird that she just assumed you'd take responsibility for her kid."
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