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missed flirting
When we think about the worst aspects of dating, the quick answers are likely rejection, being broken up with, or being cheated on.
But there's something especially perplexing about someone being oblivious to our flirting, leaving us to wonder what might have happened if they had realized what we were actually alluding to.
Because really, were they actually that oblivious, or were they trying to let us down easy?
Curious about others' experiences, Redditor AkatZuki_Z asked:
"What's the most obvious hint you dropped and other people still didn't get it?"
Never to Be More than Friends
"It was the last day of the year during high school. I straight up asked a friend if she wanted to plan to go out sometime during the summer. She declined."
"Like a year later she asked why we never dated, and I pointed out that I asked her out and she shot me down."
"She thought I was only talking about like a movie or something."
- Shrikeangel
Honestly Adorable
"Reverse: I missed the hint. I was like, 13 or 14."
"I had been riding bikes with the guy I had a huuuge crush on. We stopped for a drink of water and were walking our bikes through a park."
"He looked at me and said, 'So, I've never kissed a girl...'"
"I went, 'Haha, I've never kissed a girl either!'"
- Idonteatthat
In Need of a Little Guidance
"We were at a party, drinking, doing stupid things, and one of the girls at the party went up to my mate and said, 'I'm tired. Is there a bed I can sleep in?'"
"He said sure, but then she said, 'But I hate sleeping alone.'"
"Another mate and I ended up telling him he should join her."
"He did end up joining her. He is still with her 23 years later, and we still give him s**t about that night on occasion."
- biofuel77
Very Clever
"My wife of 40+ years would come up to college to 'visit with her brother,' who was my roommate, and he was always out when she arrived. So I would keep her company, make her tea, take her out for dinner, and sit and talk."
"Three years ago, I asked her, 'Did you always call your brother before you came up so he would make himself scarce?'"
"Her response was, 'Well, duh!'"
"Clever girl…"
- cbelt3
If You Can't Stand the Heat...
"Hanging out with coworkers at the bar after work, I had been chatting and having a good time with one guy in particular and offered him a ride home (via rideshare)."
"He lived on the opposite side of town… it was like 1:00 AM… He decided to walk home."
"It’s cool; we’re married now."
- kit_kat_barcolounger
"So how did he finally get the hint?"
- AkatZuki_Z
"That’s also kind of a silly story."
"We had this week that was unbearably hot in a city that isn’t set up to handle it (no one has AC here, especially not restaurants), so our work had to close for a couple of nights."
"The guy, being the nerdy food-obsessed person that he is, was posting a saga on Instagram about seasoning a vintage cast iron pan that he bought."
"I kept commenting on it (I was genuinely interested, as I was somewhat naïve about cooking processes at the time), until he eventually invited me over to 'see the finished product.'"
"Y’all. It was over 100 degrees outside, and I schlepped across town to watch this dude use an OVEN."
"We consider that the start of us dating, so we call it our Cast Iron Anniversary."
- kit_kat_barcalounger
Hard Work Pays Off
"We'd known each other for years (and I thought he was awesome), but he was in a long-term relationship, so I put any thoughts of anything happening out of my head."
"After a year, we saw each other at a mutual friend's house. I learned that he and his significant other had broken up six months prior."
"We had an awesome night hanging out. It was a house party, in the middle of nowhere, and we both ended up spending the night. Him on the couch, me in the spare room."
"The next morning, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place for lunch. I had to work, and thought it was a 'mates date,' so I declined."
"I got back home, he messaged to make sure I was home safe. He sent me a bunch of messages over the next four or five days. FINALLY, I had a moment of 'Waaaiit... is he flirting with me?'"
"I worked up some Dutch courage and asked if he wanted to grab a beer. Nine years later, he still teases me about how hard I made him work when actually, I was just oblivious."
- GCB78
Just Trying to Schedule an Appointment
"Years ago, my sister worked in a car parts retailer and knew this guy who worked at a local supplier who they dealt with often."
"She asked him what he was doing this weekend and he said something along the lines of, 'Not much, okay, bye,' and hung up the phone."
"His boss was like, 'You id**t, I think she was trying to ask you out.'"
"He called back and asked her out and they have been married for over a decade."
- Quiet_Painting109
The Options Are Out There
"I had become incredibly fast friends with this woman from work almost three years ago. We worked three doors down from each other but never really talked. Our first time hanging out was a walk and talk in a park near her place. The trail was only a couple of miles long, but we ended up walking and talking about ourselves and sharing our life stories for about seven hours."
"A few days later, I was explaining some difficulties in my last relationship and shared how unsure I was about dating again or finding someone given how difficult it is for me to ask people out due to confidence issues and fear."
"I also have a nasty habit of hearing compliments or flirting directed at me and convincing myself that I'm hearing what I want and dismissing it so I don't make a woman uncomfortable or overstep a boundary."
"She smiled and said she would date me."
"I thought she was giving me a reassuring, generic statement that, as a woman, she would want to date someone like me, kind of thing..."
"She meant that she would date me... like.... ask me out, I'M DIRECTLY TELLING YOU that I'm interested..."
"I totally missed it."
"She still brings it up with a sly and playful glare."
"We celebrated our second wedding anniversary less than a week ago."
- PhntmJosh
Truth or Dare
"I was playing Truth or Dare online and asked a girl to send me the tag of her crush. She sent me my tag, and I thought she was joking to get out of doing the truth."
"Joke's on her; she's my girlfriend now!"
- at_69_420
Quite the Change in Itinerary
"My girlfriend always wanted to go to Italy, and for our five-year anniversary, I booked us a trip to Milan but I didn’t tell her. I wanted to make it a surprise but I would drop hints relentlessly;"
"I constantly asked her if we were to go on holiday, where she would like to go (knowing she would say Milan)."
"l made nothing but Italian food for her whenever she came up to my flat."
"I would play Italian music in the background throughout the day (especially Sarà perché ti amo as it is an AC Milan song)."
"I would constantly speak to her in Italian before apologizing as she didn’t speak it, but I would advise her to learn some."
"I kept telling her to keep the dates of the holiday clear but not tell her why."
"Despite all of the hints, she never knew a thing. We would break up before the holiday came and she still doesn’t know that I had booked it for us. I instead went with my best friend and made it a football holiday."
- Maleficent-Eagle9659
Hindsight is 20/20
"Not me but my poor boyfriend baked me cookies and sent me a bunch of presents for my birthday years ago when he first had a crush on me. His only wish for his birthday was that I would play a video game with him."
"I didn’t get the hints at all…"
"We reconnected this year and I fell in love with him!! When I confessed, he said, 'Oh my god, I can finally tell you this, I'VE LIKED YOU FOR THREE YEARS,' and the memories of the presents and birthday gifts and kindness he showed me in the past hit me like a truck."
- OreoBlizzard13
Worth It!
"She didn't get it until I said, 'So, I kinda have a bit of a crush on you but I know we've only met a few times in a larger group, would you be interested in hanging out together sometime?'"
"We've been together five years now, but d**n did I have to make it so obvious so many times for her to actually grasp that I was into her."
- Bagel-luigi
Stay in Your League
"She asked me out for lunch. Then asked me out for drinks a few days later. She invited me to her company’s holiday banquet (she owned the company), and then she asked me to be her date for her birthday party."
"After I got engaged she asked me why we never dated. I literally said, 'I never knew you were interested.'"
"While that’s the truth, I wrote her off because I always thought she was waaaay outta my league."
"Super happy where I am and with my wife. Wouldn’t change it for the world."
- jblack1108
Time to Buy Yourself a Gift!
"For years now, I have blatantly told family and even my (now ex) husband that I want a giant gray or cream-colored teddy bear for Christmas or as a surprise. I’m talking about a huge one that isn’t ugly."
"I’ve said it would make my whole Christmas and be the best surprise ever. I’ve said it every time I’ve walked by one."
"It’s never happened. It’s never gonna happen."
- healmehealme
Happily Blockhead Ever After
"I matched with a girl on Tinder. Unfortunately, she lived in a neighboring city, but we're vibing on chat so I said f**k it, I'm going to make the effort to meet her! Make a trip of it or something."
"So I asked her out to dinner and took a three-hour bus to her. She picked me up at the spot and she was telling me how glad she is that I made the travel to meet her."
"Anyway, we went to dinner, had a good time, and she mentioned that her parents had gone away for a trip. I was just like, 'Oh cool, where?' and went off on a tangent."
"Then as the night progressed she said, 'It's getting late. Do you want to stay over?'"
"My dumba** just thought she was being nice, so I say, 'Naaa, appreciate it, but I'm going to head out.'"
"I don't know for the life of me how I didn't put two and two together. On the way back, I texted her how I had an amazing time and would love to see her again and whatnot."
"The next day, she called me and asked me point-blank whether we had a good time. And I was like, yeah! Then she asked whether I found her attractive. And I was like, yeah!"
"Then she asked, 'Then why the f**k didn't you stay over?'"
"And that's when my dumba** realized what I'd done."
"She's my wifey now but to this day she can't fathom that I made that trip just to have dinner. She still calls me a blockhead."
- gonegoonergon
It's amazing the messages we can miss from the people around us, especially those who are interested in us in some way.
Fortunately, while some of these stories must be cringy to look back on, most of these stories worked out for the best and made fun additions to someone's relationship!